This blog is going to be totally random b/c there is so much on my mind...
1. I've just realized that I'm scared to death of growing up...really growing up...I feel like kids in America are made to grow up much faster than they should...as I was...but I think it's now happening earlier and earlier...I also think that more emphasis needs to be put on what it means to be grown up...right this very second I'm timing contractions for a pregnant friend of the family that's about to go to the hospital to give birth...and my friend (still in high school) is also pregnant...we don't emphasize things like this enough...yeah we talk about the responsibility of a child and being a "grown up" but I think we need to applaud women like this for being able to do at such a young age...they've been forced to grow up and yet they've adapted
2. I'm beginning to realize how poor some schools in America are...or at least parts of them...in debate class right now we are reading the book Cross-X...it's about a real debate team in Kansas City , MO and the problems they had to overcome...the likenesses between this team and ours are uncanny...the team in the book comes from a really poor school in a primarily black area...well...our team is a minority team (we're the only one in the state with blacks or hispanics) and our school is kind of the same...we aren't necessarily poor...the school put new Bose speakers in every classroom (about 200 rooms) yesterday...yet they aren't sure if they can afford to keep all their teachers...our sports teams are overly funded...yet our team is constantly doing fund raisers to make up our debt...this just proves to me how some programs are grossly underfunded..and it isn't fair
3. to continue the topic of debate/ speech...yesterday I worked with one of our coaches...he works for bill gates...he told me I was really good but that I needed to bump up my citations to 10-15 before state (for speech)...and so last night and today I've been busting my you know what trying to get better...and this made me think about how hard kids push to be good at something...and how hard others push us too...I can't count the number of nights I've gone without sleep to make sure I've had the most current evidence of the perfected speech...nor can I count the number of times I've heard a coach say...it was good...do it again...no wonder kids these days are so stressed out...luckily the harsh coaches I've heard say things like that are from other teams...but I still see and feel the desperation to be the best...and it takes so much out of us
sorry...these are my random thoughts for the night..
oh and my step mom just took autumn to the hospital to have the baby.
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I noticed this too. I mean i dont want to grow up D:.
what can we do?
+mspin
it's not so much I don't want the freedom of being a grown up as I don't want to have to take responsibility for my actions...I like the nice little somewhat sheltered life I lead...I don't want to have to make my self go to class and pay my own bills and deal with the pressures to fit in at college...I feel like I've just mastered the problems of high school and now am being confronted with a whole new set....it blows
unfortunately none of that can be prevented. the older i get the more i face. it gets hard, but you get used to it. you have two choices. you can do something about it, or you can cry about it. that sounds mean, and i dont mean it to be. i have done both. literally. sometimes it seems unfair, and sometimes it is. but it's inevitable. i've come to realize that most things i can't stand are inevitable. it's a sad realization.
don't worry I didn't take it as mean...I know it's true... it's just sad to think about things like that and see the stark realization of their truths...it's just terrible to see kids pushing themselves to the breaking point and being forced to grow up...trust me I know that road well I basically raised my brother and sister from the time I was 12...but yes it is indeed inevitable ...it's a human tragedy
what's worse is that it seems like as generations come and go we are forced to grow up at younger and younger ages. i feel like i was in shock when i first found out kids where smoking pot in 9th grade (i was a little sheltered.) but now days i hear about middle schoolers smoking pot. that's crazy. kids today are skipping their childhoods and jumping right into our nasty society of drugs, hate, abuse, sex, ugliness... it goes on and on. it's downright disgusting! i totally hear you on this blog.
isn't that the truth? lol...yeah I was forced into that world way too early...I had my first drink, smoke, and high in 5th grade...but now that I'm at the age that I have to act like a grown up I'm shrinking back from it b/c I want what I missed out on
i guess i can hate my parents for many things... but the fact is that they gave me a good childhood. i was a read kid. i still sort of am sometimes. i like to take naps in the afternoon (whenever i can... though not very often... bummer), i like cartoons, and the funnies. part of me wants to stay that way forever. the more i grow and get out into the world the more i long to stay in bed and watch cartoons all day. if i do that though... my car will get re-po'd
lol nice...and see mine's like the complete opposite...I didn't have a good childhood in fact I can't remember one good year...ever...but I don't blame them...I just think that I was forced to take responsibility so early that now I'm shunning it
at least you are one of the rare ones who will learn from it to better themselves. so many people get wrapped up in their "crappy" lives and just feel sorry for themselves. as far as i can tell you realize that the world sucks and you can't just sit around and wait for it to keep getting to you. you have to get up and do something about it. i have a feeling most kids who skipped their childhoods wont look at it this way, and their circumstances will keep getting worse and worse. so so sad. it's too depressing.
and that's my goal in life...to change things instead of just brooding about them pointlessly