I guess it really does take a while for something your told to really settle in. I guess I was never the person to understand things right away, and anyone who really knows me, will tell you the same thing.
In the past two years, I've been through a lot that has not only taught me so much, but has only strengthened me as an individual. I've taken the things that I have learned from others, and applied it to my own life.
I'm sitting here, in my room, hearing the sound of tears, the truth being told, and on top of that, it's coming from the people I love the most, my parents.
Family has always been there for me, through my own ups and downs, but what more can I say to them. It's the love and care that they show, and express that makes life a lot easier, but when your at your lowest point, and there's no one else you can turn to, God is the only one. I've prayed, and prayed, and learned that nothing happens overnight, it's only in God's time.
But what do I do, when myself doesn't even know if my own faith is strong enough? This is what God was trying to tell me today at Bible Studies. At this very second, I feel like my faith isn't strong enough to even pray at all, but there's something telling me on the inside, coming from the heart, that if my faith is as strong as a mustard seed. That's what the word of Luke 17 has taught me. I may not have known what it was then, but this situation is only the work of God, himself. It's a teaching, a realization, a chapter ending, and another beginning.
But I need the help of others to guide me, to help me get through this.
I can't do this alone.
I'm not ready.
I just pray to God that He will take this situation into His hands. I've prayed about this before, and I'll keep on prayin until I can't pray no more. I know that my faith is strong enough, but I just needed to admit that it wasn't at one point. Lord, I just pray that you take this into your Hands. I know that at this very moment, you are taking care of it, but I just pray that whatver decision that was made was only a part of the plan that you have for me and my family. Heavenly Father, I just pray to you that you will take care of it. I put my Trust and Faith in You Lord, that you will let your will be done. Because only You know the reason behind this situation, and only You know the consequences behind it. I just pray that You will guide me through it all, and send your Holy Spirit to help me on the way.
I ask all of this in Jesus' precious name, AMEN.
