I continue to hear all over the news about children killing, bringing drugs and guns to school, and even raping other children. I constantly hear others turn and automatically start looking at what the parents didn't do for their child. They didn't hug him/ her enough, they didn't spank them enough. Which is it should we spank them more or hug them and how do you know when you are doing too little or too much.
My children are 3 months, 7, and 8 years old and I wonder am I messing up their life. Will they grow up to hate me and blame me for all their mistakes? Then I look at the mistakes I made growing up and realize it is a part of life. They are not mistakes but learning experiences. When children go to the extreme and actually start killing others I would hate to believe it was caused by the ones that should love them the most. We should actually hold these children responsible for their own mistakes.
I do believe that in certain cases we should look at what the parents did to turn them down the wrong path, but you can only hold the one responsible who committed the act. I dealt with some things as a small child that I don't feel like I should've, but that didn't make me chop up my teacher or kill my parents. I actually choose to look at my children and say that I will stop the cycle and make sure this is something my children will never have to go through. I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish all people especially children could learn from their experiences instead of acting out of vengence.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
Are you beating your kids? Are you raping them? Are you constantly telling them they're worthless? Are you neglecting them?
If not, no need to worry. But those sort of things are ridiculously common. If a kid went on a shooting rampage and his parents never abused him and did their best for him, I don't care about his parents. But if a kid went on a shooting rampage, I'd say it's pretty likely something in his life was really fucked up. Most kids aren't just "born bad". For someone to do something like that, there must've been something very, very seriously wrong - and often it's something like abuse, either ongoing or in the past.
I agree that there is normally something going on behind the scenes once a child has decided to make these awful mistakes. I just wish that the children now could have more outside influences from the right individuals. They are so easily influenced by their parents when their parents beat them from the time they are little they grow to think it is okay to hit someone or raped from a young age then that is okay. I am not trying to take the blame off of the parents all together when they did start the horrible cycle, but why are the parents the way they are, what did their parents do to them.
It seems like a lot of times now when we are saying don't punish them they were abused another child steps in to do the same. What if we say don't punish the parent they were abused as well? Do we have more children doing it because they will be able to use the same card? I am not sure this is the case but things now are a lot worse than when I was a child. Children were the innocence and now some adults are even afraid of the children. I wish we could all find a way to step in and be the good outside influence and help the children before they kill. Why do these children remain in the hands of the ones who torture them.
I was physically and emotionally abused as a child. I took beatings so my stepdad didn't touch my younger sister. My mother is still married to this man today and I used to ask her why he was this way. My mom told me that his father beat him up, so when does it stop. My sister and I took this experience two different ways. I decided that I would never be in a relationship like my mothers and that I would never let anyone put a hand on my child. I do spank my children, but I can't spank them with anything. Some people use belts and I can't even do that. Spankings are my last resort. My sister doesn't beat her children nor does she let anyone else, but her relationship is very emotionally abusive. I assume she saw my mother go through this so that makes it okay or maybe it makes it her comfort zone.
Love them. Thats all you can do so don't worry about it. It takes a village to raise a child. Therefore its more then just the parents or the children fault. Its the whole community. Our children are influenced by everything around them. If you do what you are suppose to your kids will be fine.
The most important advice I can give any parent is to pay attention to your children and love them!!!!!!!!
Humans are very capable creatures. Even at very young ages. Yes i believe in some situations parental influence or the lack there of has a role in creating killers. But not always.
My school district had a student kill a teacher at a school dance. It was astounding, his parents and the community were shocked. His parents were from the communities point of view upstanding. They owned a large business did well and were just normal people. i don't know them well but i never saw anything unnatural about the way they lived.
So i believe it to be those individuals intentions no matter what their age. Like yourself i as well had to put up with things i hope no child ever has to go through. But I never had reason to blame anyone else for it or take it out on society.
I think as a child you are very volatile. Your emotions and philosophies are all you have, not much life experience yet, so you act upon the tools you have. Vengeance, imagination and problem solving all being very easy emotions to access. Especially with the media and entertainment businesses pumping violence into our lives.
If they are never aware of capability and consequence of the real world they act. This is why children should not be sheltered i feel they need to know that there is evil in the world and it is not a healthy way to live. The deeper the sense of awareness in a child the more mature their decisions become.
So yes love them and show them the world and your healthy opinions about the wrong that takes place in it. Talk about events in the news with them and make them be active as young as possible!
Love is solid
Best of luck