How should we prevent unwanted pregnancies? I had an interesting discussion with a fellow student this afternoon on this very topic. I wore one of my various pro-life t-shirts to school today and got into a debate with a fellow student. The debate quickly went from abortion to sex education.
He argued that teens have "no control" over their feelings. The sexual urges of a teen are too powerful for even the Word of God to overcome. I was completely awestruck. This is the exact attitude of the self-gratification generation we live in. It's utterly ridiculous. My reasons for abstinence are partially in my belief in God, but more so common sense then anything.
My generation fails to realize that every action has a consequence, an equal and opposite reaction. Our schools and parents have severely lacked discipline in accordance to crimes. This causes an "anything goes" mentality that is going to end up being extremely counter-productive in the long run.
So I asked him if we could agree on something. That sex creates children. That's the purpose and the "reaction" of having sex. He agreed, much as I hope you do.
So, Sex=babies. Period. There's ways to help prevent that (i.e. birth control, condoms) but they aren't 100% effective and you end up with, SURPRISE, a baby. A baby comes with, SURPRISE, responsibilities. Parents are completely responsible for their child, at least legally, until the child's 18th birthday. Most parenting reaches far beyond that date.
If every action has an equal and opposite reaction, then the consequence of a child should clue one in on the gravity of sexual relations.
As a 17-year old, high school student, a child would be completely inconvenient. I would not be able to provide for the baby financially in any way. Stability of a loving family, well, that probably would never happen. A child gets in the way of college and being "normal". The only way to ensure I don't have a child, is to not have sex (see paragraph 5).
I doubt many teens look at the issue this way. They see sex as a separate issue. Am I ready to commit to sex with my partner? Are we both mature enough to handle sex? Rarely do I hear someone asking for advice say: Are we ready to handle a child should something happen and I (she) ends up pregnant?"
If sex=babies and I don't want babies, maybe I shouldn't have sex. There's an old saying: "If you play with fire, you're going to get burned." That same philosophy should be applied here. If you're not ready for a child, don't have sex.
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Well if you don't want a kid then get an abortion or just take it in the ass. Sometimes it's what a kid needs to wake up and come back to reality. It's made several of my very close friends the awesome people they are today. Without this baby, they would have still been losers. If YOU don't want a baby then don't have sex, but it's other people's lives. They take their own actions, they don't have to have the baby when they can stick a wire coat hanger up their cooch.
Abortions are still a consequence. Studies have shown that they wreak havoc on the mother and the father's emotions and long-term mental health.
http://www.afterabortion.info/hope/arti17.htm
http://www.epigee.org/pregnancy/psychological.html
And the physical health of the mother.
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/after_effects_of_abortion.asp
I'm just saying, our generation has taken an outlook on life that could be detrimental in other areas. Believing we are invincible, or that there aren't any consequences to our actions, is extremely dangerous.
http://www.progressiveu.org/user/bamers
Studies have shown that they wreak havoc on the mother and the father's emotions and long-term mental health.
Sorry, but that's just not true.
While showing sources is good, there's many personal testimonies of post-abortive women who claim psychogical disturbances like regret, depression, etc. http://www.hopeafterabortion.com/ is the website for Project Rachel, a support group put together by post-abortive mothers to help others like themselves.
http://www.progressiveu.org/user/bamers
And of course, that website is run by Christians, so there's no agenda to compiling and publishing the accounts of women that regretted their abortions. You don't hear testimonials from women who didn't regret their abortions because they know it was a personal decision they made, they accepted their decision, and they've moved on.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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I always find it hard how girls can easily give themselves away to guys. Some guys are good. But many boys like to talk about who they slept with and stuff. It totally ruins the girls' reputations rather than the guys. They view sex as something cool. And I'm sure they know that BABIES come from two people (or more) having sex with each other. Then again, homosexuals won't have to worry about it. lol
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When I was a teenager, I had a lot of these theories. Don't want AIDS? Don't have sex... Don't want a child? Don't have sex... Don't want to be called a slut? Don't have sex...
I'm sure you get my point.
And I know things have changed a lot since I was in school - including the immense gray areas in all of these theories. AIDS can come from blood transfusions, people will call you a slut for winking at the wrong guy...
And grown women who aren't able to care for a child are going to have sex. Women are going to be raped and become pregnant.
I'm 31 and in college. My husband is a disabled vet who is unable to work. The hurricanes in 2005 wiped us out financially and wrecked our credit to boot. We can't care for a child - and for that matter my husband's medication would leave him unable to even keep up with a child if we were able to scrape enough money to buy the baby clothes and feed it regularly.
Not that if I were to find myself pregnant I would immediately head off to an abortion clinic - but by this logic I, as a married woman, should choose celibacy simply because we can't handle a kid? Or other married women who don't want children should stop sleeping with their husbands?
We need to stop thinking about things like this as simply black and white matters. Nothing has an easy answer - we need to stop trying to find the easy answer and work towards finding an answer.
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence,
A-Team Member
Did I say anything about married couples? No, my entire thread was centered on teens and children out of wedlock, the "free spirit" mentality a lot of them. Marriage has an entirely different out look then unwed teens.
http://www.progressiveu.org/user/bamers
Well, you mentioned teens, but I didn't see you say you were exclusively talking about teens, or that you were not including other sexually active age groups.
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence,
A-Team Member
It was supposed to be exclusively about teens.
http://www.progressiveu.org/user/bamers
Sex has no meaning if you don't want a child. That is what sex is for and was always for. If there are any Christians out there who have romance in their relationships, they need to take a check at their religion. Romance in general is cool. But unless I am just too young to understand, romance just leads to sex.
Staying on this topic, kids have sex for various reasons, and no, baby doesn't come to mind because they don't know the equation sex plus mentration equals baby.
But here comes the sad part, this doesn't always happen.
And you can get pregnant from anal sex.
Sex still has meaning even if you don't want a child. It's for pleasure and other...stuff. I can't say actually since I haven't done it yet. But maybe sex isn't only used to make babies. If so, should people have sex ONLY when they want to have babies?
I didn't know you can get pregnant from anal sex....for real?
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Sex has a lot of meaning, to a lot of different people. It's an intimacy, a closeness. It's how your minds and bodies connect.
Why do you suppose it's so traumatizing for someone to be raped? Even nonviolently - like some form of date rape. Yes, they were violated, but more than that they were violated in an extremely intimate way.
And I am not Christian - but I still don't feel like I should live without romance with my husband just because we can't care for a child. And I wouldn't ask you to do it either.
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence,
A-Team Member
You cannot get pregnant from anal sex. That is just plain biology. You can get STDs, so it's not completely safe, but you can't get pregnant. Don't be ridiculous.
He argued that teens have "no control" over their feelings. The sexual urges of a teen are too powerful for even the Word of God to overcome.
Wow, I wouldn't put it that way. It's not that sexual urges are too powerful for the word of God, it's just that sex is a heck of a lot more fun than the word of God, so getting people to choose the word of God instead of sex is not easy.
So I asked him if we could agree on something. That sex creates children. That's the purpose and the "reaction" of having sex. He agreed, much as I hope you do.
I don't. I've been having sex pretty much every day for the past nine years without pregnancy.
There's ways to help prevent that (i.e. birth control, condoms) but they aren't 100% effective and you end up with, SURPRISE, a baby.
Unless you have an abortion, surprise or planned.
If you're not ready for a child, don't have sex.
No thank you. I enjoy regular sex, and I have no problem with using birth control or having an abortion if I ever need to.
That kid's stupid. If teenagers have no control over their feelings, then why am I a virgin at 18? Yes, I've been in the mood for sex, and had opportunities, but I'm not ready yet, and I may never be.
P.S. Being normal is overrated and boring.
I don't need drugs - I have genetics.
I agree with much of what Bamers said about sex entailing responsibilities, but I do not agree that sex = babies and that the desire to have a baby is the only reason to have sex.
I suppose there are some couples who, if they only want one child will just have sex one time in their life and if it works they'll live as roommates, but most have sex mostly for bonding, expression of intimacy, physical release and other reasons.
Another poster (the-one) said:
"If there are any Christians out there who have romance in their relationships, they need to take a check at their religion...And you can get pregnant from anal sex."
Since Jesus did not say that Christians cannot have romance, there is nothing un-Christian about it. Maybe in your personal religious belief, romance is never allowed and sex is only for when you want a baby, but that isn't universally Christian.
No, it is not possible to get pregnant from anal sex. I don't know where you learned that, but they didn't give you accurate information. I can only guess that you may have grown up with a religious family who "sheltered" you from accurate information about sex.
There are many kinds of sex that entail zero chance of pregnancy. I do think that far too many people go for sex that CAN cause pregnancy. They also don't understand what the "failure rate" of certain birth control methods really means.
I do not agree that sex = babies and that the desire to have a baby is the only reason to have sex.
Then what does sex equal? I never said that one had to desire a child to have sex, but one should be ready for the consequence of a child. Many adult relationships don't desire a child but they could very well support the child financially. Teens don't have the level of stability. They normally don't want nor can they support a child.
http://www.progressiveu.org/user/bamers
"Then what does sex equal?"
It depends on the individual. A person may, for example, get surgical sterilization and have no desire to bring a child into this overpopulated world, but can still have sex for an expression of intimacy and love for a partner. He/She may also have sex for a reason as simple as enhancing personal physical and psychological health.
" I never said that one had to desire a child to have sex, but one should be ready for the consequence of a child."
Well, you said sex = babies, so it would be easy to think that's what you meant. As far as being ready for the consequences of a child, I fully agree with you if a person has sex in such a way that pregnancy is possible. If they have sex in such a way that pregnancy is impossible, then there is no reason to get ready for a child.
"Many adult relationships don't desire a child but they could very well support the child financially. Teens don't have the level of stability. They normally don't want nor can they support a child."
I agree, and it is irresponsible for either those teens or the type of adults you mention (no matter how much money they have) to engage in any sex that can result in pregnancy. Safe sex is a different matter with other considerations that do not include pregnancy.
what do that means? when you said you are prolife? do that means that you are biophilic? biophilic is a person who loves all form of life. a biophilic is a person who oppose the death penality, wars, abortion, destruction of the enivorment, against animal cruelty, support health care for the poor, and all forms of program to continue and protect all forms of life. biophilic is a pacifist.
anyways, it had nothing to do with sex. when i was growing up, like two years back, my health teacher taught us absteince only. the student that ended up pregnant were the one who didn't use condom or birth control because they felt guilty and to use birth control is to suggest that they are enaging in premartial sins. so it is much better to blame it on passion of the moment than to protects oneself. many of these kids tend to be very ignorance of contraceptive. so they had no way of stopping it.
when you said that you are pro-life, are you for all forms of life? do that means that you oppose anything that will directly cause the death of a life. against wars, abortion, death penlity, et al? just trying to understand when you said that your prolife? also, where do you think that life began and end. does it conception and end at birth? it is only of value when it is in the womb but once it is born, it no longer matters?
i hope not to offend you, just wants your opinion. do you think that mitt romeny sons will be fighting over in iraq?