The club is an ambiguous concept. Some people like going to the club to dance. Others go to the club to drink. There are others who just go to the club to get "happy." Some people go to rock music clubs, and others go to hip hop clubs. Each has their own atmosphere that appeals to whoever wants to step inside and give it a shot. What I really want to know is two things. For the ladies, what makes you want to dance with a guy? (Dress, looks, moves, lack of moves, inches, or personality?) For the guys, what makes you want to go up to a girl? (Dress, looks, moves, how drunk she is, personality, or whatever) If a girl or guy is too open (like those girls who move as though their butt is detached from their head and guys that just stand there like a pole, his hands a-roaming), does that detract or add to their appeal? Is it all about sex when you go to the club nowadays?
Now, it seems to me that the clubs in my city are very shallow. You have to look a certain way, dress a certain way, and act a certain way in order to get in and then once you're in, you have to be on an even higher level to dance with anyone. With that said, I hate the fact that most of the time, you're only guaranteed to be grooved on if you have got on tight pants, short skirt, and a really tight, lowcut top. You have to have a nice body and usually you have to be young. I was observing tonight, and I found it very disconcerting that there were certain girls who never had anyone dance with them because they were too fat, too dolled up, not dressed right, or just didn't have the moves. Is dancing all about getting something rubbed? What happened to just having a good time and why have we become such a shallow society? I won't dance with anyone who won't dance with my friends. To me, that's just like an insult to humanity when you based everything on the outside.
Wouldn't it be better to meet someone who has a great personality than someone who is extremely gorgeous, but extremely unintelligent at the same time and unreliable? I want the honest opinion of everyone. Is it looks that matter the most? Why should that matter at all?
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
I think bar hopping and meeting people at clubs is ridiculous. You can't hold a conversation. It's entire purpose is sex, eye-candy, etc. You find surface relationships that mean nothing. In my opinion, the most you'll ever find at a club is a long lasting excuse to continuously use each other. Clubs are not where relationships are made. And on another note, I'm sick of broadcast journalist broadcasting news regarding how goign to clubs is "asking for rape". If a girl walks down the street entirely naked, she is not ASKING to be raped. Dancing, dress, etc. let's just stop blaming it on the women and take equal responsibility in preventing rape.
It is pointless. I thik the only thing you can do when you go to a club is have fun. It should not be about hooking up or getting your mess on or whatever. I think it should purely be a release, and it's sad to know that girls and guys go to clubs because they want to get sex out of it. It ruins what clubs were originally made to do. I see people at clubs making fun of people who dance in the center of circles, just having a good time, not caring. That kind of stuff was praised back in the heyday. It's just disappointing to know that it's all sex now. I agree with the rape thing, though if you do walk down the streets naked at 3 am in my downtown--you are pretty much asking for it, because there are just too many who are crazy and don't understand the difference between right and wrong.
Exactly. No one can ASK to be raped.
So if you walk down naked on the street at night in downtown of your city, do you think you're not going to get raped?
Doesn't mean you're ASKING for it. Doesn't mean it's not wrong.
I find it troubling to find a worthwhile relationship in a girl who dresses so skimpily..... As men we naturally have a human desire to have sex but with the eye-candy we just get so into that all inhibitions are thrown out the door. no it is not all the girls faults but at the same time there are plenty of classy outfits that don't reveal so much. It is a two way street. Both sides have to meet in the middle. But it is really sad how things are all about the sex now. I hate it I just want a nice girl that is preferrably a virgin to marry me and spend our lives together... but it is getting extremely difficult these days....
Sometimes a girl likes to dress sexy but that doesn't mean she's sexually promiscuous. Sometimes we all like to feel sexy and stuff, but that doesn't mean we're slutty. There's girls that are willing to do more but they dress very modest.
As for walking down the street naked, yes, the girl has a high chance of being raped, but she should be able to walk down the street naked without having someone sexually abuse her.
well, you want to marry a virgin, are you a virgin???
The fact that you used your sex as an excuse makes me sick to my stomach. Men's desires can be harnessed just as easily as women's. Not just in sex, but in all aspects.
An alcoholic walks into a bar and blames the drinks for looking too good, but excuses it with his disease.
How is this situation any different?
Please don't make excuses for yourself and try to tell us that it's reasonable for you too "loose your inhibitions" when you see a girl dressed "skimpily."
To me looks dont matter at all,I dont judge young men on their looks.Alot of the girls in my family does that,and I be trying to tell them that you can get a dude that is ok lookin rating him a 6 and treat you like a queen like you supposed to be treated or you can get someone who is at the top of the charts in your book and treat you like dirt. Looks today is based on if you are available for anyone in anyway. I dont think it is the right thing to do.Ladies choose your men wisely and men do the samething,your life and marriage should not be based on if she look the part, is she dressed nice,her hairs long, shes the right nationality or she isnt.You should want to spend the rest of your life or even moments with someone who makes you happy and not who makes you happy just by looking at them.All of the things I stated above have nothing to do with the inside of a person when that is the most important thing. "Lets talk about the inside of people for a second". The inside consits of a good heart,loving,caring,humble,respectful,and commitement.All the things I named you cannot find by looking and the outside of a person,I have said all that to say "lets STOP judging eachother by the outside.You can be looking at a DIME and in the inside there all rusted up,or you can be lookin at a penny and in the inside he or she is worth far more than gold.
I agree. People are under the impression that looks make you happy and if that were the case than there's maybe a 3 year span of time in everyone's life (aside from plastic surgery in later years) where looks are worth being incredibly happy about anyway. People say it's stuck up and selfish when we are extremelly confident in ourselves. I think it is just as selfish to be overly confident in what you look for in others. Does that make any sense?
I think that it just depends on the type of person you are if you're shallow, of course your sole concern would be the persons looks but if you're a depp thinker than you would look for personality and what's on the inside.
I really hate the club scene, I would much rather talk to people.
you can talk to people at a club.
I really hate the club scene, I would much rather talk to people.
Let's not forget that a sexual attraction IS important in a relationship. To even begin to be interested in a relationship, one must be attracted to their partner, not just mentally but also physically. Now that doesn't mean that we should only date really hott people, but that different people perceive different qualities as sexually attractive. Some people are attracted to anothers' intellegence or humor or specific physical charactoristics.
Of course, the caliber of person who approaches you in a club will be only looking at the physical -- you don't see someone from across the bar and think, "Damn, I am totally attracted to that person's intellegence!" You don't know the person you are attracted to in a bar except for their outward appearance.
And to the question of -- Is a woman walking down the street at 3am completely nude asking to be raped? -- NO - If you are asking to be raped -- IT IS NOT RAPE.
The very definition of rape is...
rape1 Audio pronunciation of "rape" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp)
n.
1. The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts,
especially sexual intercourse.
2. The act of seizing and carrying off by force; abduction.
3. Abusive or improper treatment; violation: a rape of justice.
Thus, asking for rape in turn negates the fact that it is rape.
And in all truth -- a stripper will at times be completely nude, displaying her genitalia, and making sexually explict/suggestive movements -- Is she asking to be raped? I doubt it.
As unfair to males as it may seem a woman has every right to run around naked, to dress as scantily as she pleases, and still deny any sexual advances! That doesn't makes her bad or slutty nor does it give a man the right to force himself on her.
Looks shouldn't matter that much but it should..because aint nobody gon go with someone who really ugly..(who made themselves that way)..who refuses to dress right..or just skimpy..(if thats the word for it)..to me looks should matter..someone should want someone that they can say "yea dats ma man right there or "yea dats ma girl right there" and be proud..if someone's gon go out with an ugly person whether to the clubs o wherever they should always look attractive and turn heads..i always try ma best to look good cuz dats just how its supposed to be...NOW the part where no one will dance with those 2 girls cuz they fat or dont dress right..dats just stereotyping...now u might say that what i just wrote on looks is but its not..no one should let n e one feel bad..cuz they fat..or cant dance...in da clubs ere'body should be having fun..no matter if they got someone to dance with or not.
Clubs are awesome. I love dancing and meeting new people.
you are sexy
Hi, I found this site and it speaks sort of directly at what I've been wondering about. I'm dating a guy that in the beginning said he's over the single life and wants to start a relationship and start building a life, worth living, you know, like finally getting a house a 35 and not paying rent, also, not clubbing every weekend, etc.
It's now been 11 months, he seems to care mostly and strongly about when he wants to go out 'clubbing', he gets more excited about that then anythine else we do. As for myself, been to a club twice in my life and I hate it. My bf like to dance but I can't take it seriously that anyone can love dancing that much, etc., to feel the need to club, etc. Well now he's making next year already to go to a club with his friends which is hundreds of miles away. I really do not like it. I think clubbing is a phase when you're young you go through it, etc.
I'm thinking of giving an ultimatium almost, hey decide what is more important to you:clubbing or me and making long term plans come reality.
What do you all feel about the clubbing?
Is his clubbing frequent? Are you uncomfortable letting him venture to the club on his own?
I just don't understand why by clubbing you assume he is denying your relationship's seriousness. I am not the biggest fan of bars or clubbing either. My boyfriend is in a band, which leads to at least one night a week in a bar/club for him. He has never minded whether or not I go -- but I tend to because I feel supporting him is important. Unless he is wanting to club several nights a week, I don't really understand you dilimma. Why are you so against it? Being in a relationship is about compromise, not ultimatiums.