"I just want to be tolerated!"
It's a line I hear often from a rather large amount of my gay/lesbian/bi friends; a line that resonates throughout the overal LGBT community. So, I find myself guiltily wondering, is it selfish of me to want more?
Imagine having an argument with a parent or a friend, and you accuse them of being homophobic/racist/sexist/whatever. In a moment of passionate fury, you accuse them of being intolerant. And in return, they shout out, "I TOLERATE YOU."
To be quite frank, I don't want to be tolerated. Just imagining my mother saying that she merely "tolerates" me is heartbreaking. I don't want to be tolerated, I want to be loved for who I am. I don't want to be tolerated, I want to be supported, accepted.
In a day where people say they don't believe in same-sex marriage, but support the GLBT community, I find this in a way, hypocritical. Yes, I realize that many in the nation don't support the community; I realize that a candidate saying they supported same-sex marriages would decrease the likeliness of them winning. And yet despite this, I can't help but feel that they're being somewhat half-assed about it, for lack of a better term. Saying that they support same-sex unions, but not same-sex marriages is pointless; it's like going into something half-heartedly. So, I can't help but wish that they could simply express either their acceptance, or be rejected from them completely. It's brutal, but overall it's the truth.
Is that honestly too much to ask for?
tolerated has negative and positive connotations, just like you said.
anyone tells me that they 'tolerate' it would make me feel as if they are forced to even be near me and feel indifferent about it.
and I so agree with what you said. If you are going to fo something go for it 100%. Half way doesn't cut it, especially for same-sex marriages.
Many people today don't know that back when the U.S. military and political leaders were debating allowing African-Americans enlist in the service, the main argument was that the "other" service members wouldn't tolerate that, and it would cause disharmony and discord within the ranks.
Now, we all know what happened, and I can tell you (at least in the navy) there is no discord in the ranks because of race. People of other races aren't just tolerated, they embrace each other. The "rednecks" often become good friends with the "city guys" and both learn things about each others cultures, share their food and stories, and come to understand each other better.
This forced integration is what we need to go beyond the mere "tolerance" of LGBT individuals. I have to believe that there will be a day when all LGBT people can be openly so. Thats the only way to gain the acceptance of people who "disapprove" but "tolerate".
~~Every human heartbeat is a universe of possibilites.~~
Gregory David Roberts