Can someone like a 12 year-old girl be a good parent? Age does not matter, that is what I have heard numerous times. In many states, teenagers as young as 14 years old can get married with a consent from their parents. When I think of marriage, of course, the topic of "family" comes up. Eventually, these teens (married and unmarried) will probably end up with a child. When the teens become parents, does that make them become adults?
Okay, there are obviously three issues at hands. First is the issue of teen pregnancy, second is the problem of legal age for marriages, and third point is parenting. Although I understand that these three things do not necessarily connect to one and another, they are pretty much related in many cases. But I do want to say that just because a teen is pregnant, it doesn't mean she has to get married and it doesn't mean she will be a bad mother. Same thing can be said to the male teen who is involved in the process of reproduction.
It recently came to my attention that most teens consider themselves as "adults" when they become "parents" of a child. What does it mean to be an adult exactly and how do you define such stage? Perhaps one becomes an adult when that person turns 18 years old or 21 years old. But I still see many adults act immature and get into trouble (especially with the laws) more than teenagers. Maybe adulthood is define by the types of "grown up" responsibilities. If a 13 year-old has to feed his or her own family by working full time, would that child become an adult?
As for marriages, "Delware, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Maryland, and Oklahoma: Allow pregnant teens or teens who have already had a child to get married without parental consent." (See sources) Once again, these states basically assume that teens with a child is more capable of getting married than those without a baby. Possibly they see marriage as something pregnant teens need to cover up their "mistake", or maybe those young adults get pregnant early on purpose. Anyone younger than 18 may get married with a consent from their parents, which is reasonable enough. But I find that fact to be somewhat disturbing. To me, marriage is just another way the government can get involved in a family aspect of our lives. Whether it's good or bad, you be the judge.
Now, can 12 year-olds be good parents? Obviously, there are more and more young parents. Many adults would criticize them and assume these teens would be horrible parents. I would like to know, what are the qualifications for being "good" parents? Do qualified parents need a house, education or money? If so, perhaps the majority of us are not fitted to have children.
Source:
http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/legal_age_of_consent/inde...
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I had no idea that some states allowed for teenagers to marry simply because they had become a parent.
Amazing.
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"when you have nothing else to say, "Fwonk" is always the perfect thing."
"yeah well, fwonk"
--Devon
Fanaile Essence,
A-Team Member
I'm glad I can share some knowledge with you. :-h haha (I'm still not used to the smileys yet). Do these teenagers really become "adults" when they turn into parents? If so, then adulthood would be defined as by having responsibilities or being old enough to have sex. Perhaps the situations force people to grow up faster than others. Maybe there isn't such a clear line between childhood and adulthood.
WOW! 14 year olds can get married? Well you really do learn something new every day! =D Nope i don't think so she's still a child herself.. =D
i really like the questions you presented. being a parent does not make you an adult, nor does age. the way you handle yourself, your responsibilities, and your situation is what determines if you are an adult. i have a 40 year old father who still relies on his mother for everything, so do i see him as an adult, no. then again i have a 16 year old neighbor who is pregnant, staying in school, and working so that she can take care of her child. do i see her as an adult, yes. but these are just a few cases. having a baby as a teen does not make you an adult, and this is coming from someone who had her first child at 17 and second at 19. i was not an adult when i had my son, but i was expected to start looking at my situation and figuring out the adult thing to do. which i did. but i'm 21 now and i have just recently decided i am an adult.
as for the marriage age, i did know those, and have always thought that was bogus.
MommaTrish - mom of 2 boys and a bump
Being an adult mean being able to act responsibly, regardless of whether you're a parent or not. I know quite a few 40 year olds who still don't know how to act like adults, some of them have kids, others don't.
No physical factor can make someone an adult, only one's way of thinking can make them into an adult. That way of thinking generally follows parenthood, but sadly this isn't always the case.
I live in one of those states that you mentioned. I once knew a 14 year old that married a 31-year old because she was pregnant, no questions asked. That disturbs me.
F*** Religion. Read more here:
http://www.progressiveu.org/020528-f-religion