I just read a blog on gay marriage which inspired me to write about the change in marriage over the years. As a straight person I feel it is a bit odd to weigh in on this issue but yet I believe it is my place in that the majority often have to speak up for the minority. I think the argument which most infuriates me surrounding this issue is the one that questions the casting out of traditional beliefs and the long history of marriage. In this day and age we have romanticized marriage. We have been allowed the personal freedom to choose who we marry. Historically this was not so. Marriage was used as a merging of two families. It was the selling off of one's daughters in order to secure family security.
Marriage was used as leverage to better family placement. Often times people did not even know those they were about to be legally bound to. I believe many of these people eventually found love and respect but it was not a union based on it. Some fathers were kind enough to consider their daughter's feelings. Others truly used it as a social climbing maneuvre.
For the men it was an opportunity to continue the family name. To get goods and money to take care of a woman who would provide him with children which he could use as slave labor in whatever business venture he was part of, tending fields, working in the steel mill, whatever. Again, not heavily based on love, but on the primal need to survive.
The Catholics, at one point, went so far as to outlaw marriage because men were no longer willing to leave their families behind to join the crusades. Hence the birth of St. Valentine. Interesting a church could outlaw marriage for the spreading of their truth by violence.
While there have always been some marriages based solely on love, I believe the progression of marriage has moved to a more cooperative union of partnership and love combined. I believe this can be attained in many different ways and it is not my place to judge what this new version will be. If there are people out there willing to make a commitment to take care of one another, I think the new version of marriage means just that. The history of marriage remains the same and no one is ruining the sanctity of it by choosing to marry for love, so why do we care who that love is between? Would we really still want to live in a place where we were sold to the next door neighbor for the rest of our lives? Let marriage evolve.
Excellent post.
I agree...excellent post...I think that all marriage should be accepted...and I agree that it is a hard issue to weigh as a straight person...but I think you did so accurately
I agree with Kiota. I think the main hang-up on those against gay marriage is that they confuse secular marriage with religious marriage. They say that is blasphamous and against "god's will," but what does that have to do with a legal marriage recognized by the state. I have yet to hear a legitimate argument against gay marriage.
exactly...marriage is a joining of two people...not a religious experience unless you make it one
Using marriage for, or not for, social or financial gain is still used nowadays. I know that my step-mom refused to marry my dad until he had the child support settlement worked out because they would have had to pay more if it had been based upon their combined incomes. They chose to marry when it was financially beneficial. While this is not the same as being married off without choice, there's still some reflection of that nowadays.
I totally agree!
Im straight and honestly have always thought homosexuality to be a very different way to live life. It just doesn't connect with me? But then again if you could dissect everyone one of my thoughts and feelings I'm sure a lot if not all of them would be foreign to many people. I believe that goes for any one individual on this planet we are all wired differently. So be it, right? I commend any two people that can connect love and live a lifetime together. Who is anyone to define a couples title in this world. You cant take love from any two people wether homo or heterosexual. Love is beyond us.