I know we're supposed to let our kids be creative, were supposed to support them if they want to try different things, but common people theirs a limit isn't there? No I'm not talking about Goths, most of them at least cover their bodies. I'm referring to what I see YOUNG girls wearing out in public these days. Just take a trip to WalMart I did the other day and saw what appeared to be 8yr olds covered in make up, wearing short skirts and shirts so that their bellies were showing! This is getting to be ridiculous, I saw one girl from behind from a distance and thought to myself, "wow she's sure showing the world what she's got!" When she turned around I seen that she was only about 14!!!!! I felt dirty all over because I looked at her that way. When are parents going to step in and say hey this isn't acceptable, you can't go out like this! We have a high rate of pedophilia and date rape in this country and let me tell ya, letting our daughters go out in public like this isn't helping matters none.
Would you allow your kid to dress like that?
By tcole31314 - Posted on May 19th, 2006
The parents are more and more commonly dressing the same way. You can't force your modesty on others.
EXCEPT your children and yourself.
And I encourage you to.
I'm a perv by nature. Modesty doesn't occur in me naturaly. But I appreciate it in others, it helps me to treat a woman like a person when she's not trying to look like she's sexually available at all times.
I know that I should treat her well anyway, and I do. but it is more difficult
This is probably the most controversial thing I have or will ever say on this site
I regret posting the comment about respecting women who dress this way.
However, out society is over encouraging women to do so. Especially young girls who have no appreciation for the sexual aspect of their dress!
Its one thing to dress revealingly for yourself as an adult.
I like when guys look at my girl, its a compliment to me for snagging her. SHe is MINE and I am HERS.
But its one thing to want to be pretty, another to want to be sexually alurring and something completely different to just dress for yourself.
Look, when 8 year olds show skin, WHO CARES? I mean they don't care about looking "Sexy" Take it from a kid who wore a mini skirt just yesterday! We don't care about looking "Sexy" Or showing skin, and most of all, we aren't easy, most of us are SCARED to talk to boys scared to get close to them! When we wear clothes like that we just think its cute. Oh and who says our parents like it?? Who said we wear it when we are at HOME? Yeah think before ya say something because people get offended!
I agree, parents are letting the youth run wild. Start back to setting limits!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/pmccorkle
Yea, it's definitely ridiculous. Younger and younger kids are dressing like sluts lately. Girls need to learn about modesty. Because even though they think they're looking hot, they just look like sluts, to say it bluntly. And guys don't respect girls who dress like that - they just think of them as "easy." Which may or may not be true. Girls need to respect their bodies.
I hope you realize that by labeling children who dress this way as "slut" you are perpetuating the very idea! You can't look like a slut.
From dictionary.com --
slut n.
1. A woman considered sexually promiscuous.
2. A woman prostitute.
The definition is a way of acting, not dressing!
Guys can and should accept and respect girls that dress anyway they desire with as much or as little skin showing. Our society, especially persons like yourself, are the ones responsible for this stigma.
Yea, but you know that's what people think of people who dress that way. Even if it isn't true (which obviously it usually isn't).
"Guys can and should accept and respect girls that dress anyway they desire with as much or as little skin showing. Our society, especially persons like yourself, are the ones responsible for this stigma."
-How can a guy respect a girl who doesn't respect herself. Many girls who dress like that do it because they have low self-esteem, want to feel loved, want someone to acknowledge them. But many guys will take advantage of them. Many guys don't like when girls dress like that. And often, if a guy does end up going out with a girl who dresses that way he asks her to dress more conservatively because he knows all the guys will be ogling her when they go out.
But if you can admit that dressing to increase one's sexuality doesn't make you slutty then why are you posting that these girls look like sluts? You can't look like an act of promiscuity. Besides, who cares what other people think of how I dress -- not me!
I dress very provocatively when the occasion allows (I am not going to wear a mini skirt to work, but I will wear it out) -- and I have great self esteem and high respect for myself. I dress to please myself. And yes, I most definately like to see myself as highly sexual -- but this is not for others, this is for my own personal enjoyment. I also LOVE to wear lingerie! Not just for my boyfriend, but also when I am alone. It is pretty and I like it. I have a full drawer. All this and I don't sleep around! Are you surprised? If not, maybe you need to rethink your ideas about sexual expression and clothes.
"And often, if a guy does end up going out with a girl who dresses that way he asks her to dress more conservatively because he knows all the guys will be ogling her when they go out.
--then you are with the wrong guy. My boyfriend likes me to dress how I want and if I look sexy or provocative he enjoys it just as much as when I dress conservatively. He loves me. When other guys oogle me (which they are apt to do despite what a woman wears) he is proud that I am his. He has never asked me to dress any other way. The are men you are talking about are just too insecure in their girlfriend's/wive's perceived sexuality. They see her attractiveness as a threat to his "ownership" of her. You don't want to be with a man like that.
Because they do look like society's image of a slut. Now to say that they are, but that's what they look like.
No, I'm not surprised. But I don't think that's a great choice. Guys will like you just for your looks.
And then they'll disrespect you. I don't feel good about myself when I walk home from the beach in a bikini & have construction workers whistling at me, or cars beeping at me. Would that make you feel good? I think dressing too sexy is just not a good idea.
In a way -- yes. I am pleased that others find me attractive, I wave and smile at their antics. It doesn't matter to me how you feel in a bikini walking down the street. Your feelings do not dictate the clothes I choose to wear. MY feelings dictate the clothes I wear.
Many people will like you or not like you based on your looks despite the clothes you wear.
Not all guys will disrepect you because you are sexual, attractive, and confident. When I make it clear that the total package includes a brain and complex emotions, they have always backed off.
The point is not how you feel about a certain way of dressing. The point is everyone has the right/ability to dress as they desire and the issue we must consider is the social construction that places negative labels on certain ways of dressing -- not the clothes.
Your an adult or nearly one right? I'm talking about children 6- 16 yr. olds. If an 8 yr old wants to wear lingerie too feel pretty should she be allowed too? I don't care what you wear you probably by your own clothes, mommy and daddy don't buy them for you anymore do they? Well I'm talking about parents buying these revealing clothes for their children!
My parents allowed me to express my sexuality as a young adult. They didn't buy me lingerie. The purpose of that statement was not directed at children, but at the labelling of women in general for the clothes they wear.
I am most certainly an adult.
6-16 is too broad a range. No, 8 year olds should not be allowed to wear lingerie (1) they don't make lingerie for children and (2) I used to wear my mother's sexy nightgowns as a child - Is that wrong?
I feel that children should be able to wear belly showing shirts when the occasion is appropriate -- schools mandate specific dress codes for this reason.
But at some point between 6 and 16 the female begins puberty and starts to mature sexually and should be allowed to express that sexuality. My parents wouldn't let me leave the house with sexually explicit clothes (revealing more than the outline of my figure), but I was allowed to wear short skirts and tube tops as a teen. I was never taken advantage of -- and I even dated a 20 year old at the age of 15. Don't get me wrong, if I had been weak minded perhaps he could have, but he honestly liked me not just my outward appearance, we dated for 9 months.
Honey let me tell ya, if you were allowed to date a 20yr old when you were 15 you were taken advantage of and you parents should be ashamed! Do you realize that in most states that illegal! You were way to young to know his motives, trust me if he could have taken advantage he would have. And why are you contradicting yourself? In one sentence you say, "My parents wouldn't let me leave the house with sexually explicit clothes and then you turn right around and say, "but I was allowed to wear short skirts and tube tops as a teen! Hello, I'm telling you that the majority of guys in the world would agree that short skirts and tube tops are sexually explicit!
I would prefer to not be called honey, that is quite condecending. I have refrained from attacking you personally and I deserve the same etiquitte.
And, if my "no-no" areas are covered I see nothing wrong with it -- neither did my parents. I was in high school and allowed to express my individuality and sexuality as any normal teenager should. Short skirts and tube tops still cover me up. These items are not inherently sexually explicit. In addition, I live in a hot climate, and less clothes are not always seen as promiscuous, more like common sense. When it is 100 degrees outside you don't wear long pants and a jacket.
How dare you attack my parents! You have no idea the restrictions that were put on my relationship with him. I have great parents who realized that denying my ability to date him would only push me closer to him. We met in church. Don't worry though, he eventually dumped me for someone his own age.
I attacked your parents judgement not them personally, In my opinion, it was appropriate becuase judgements like theirs attribute to the mess our children are in at the moment. You act like walking around half naked in high temperatures is common sense, I guess common sense like that is the reason so many young people are getting skin cancer before their 30 yr. old? It gets hot where I live too, but you can cover your body and still stay cool. Sorry if my calling you honey was offensive I live in the south and call practically all females honey. I
Well, my parents were great parents. They were VERY strict on most issues. I wasn't allowed to do much as a teenager, but I was allowed to express myself through clothes, music, activities (that were adult supervised), and the like. I grew up to not be promiscuous at all, but love my self, my self image, and everything about me.
I was in high school about 8 years ago. The "slutty" clothes for teens then were still more conservative than those of today.
I think we are getting away from the issues at hand. I am not saying that young girls (under 14) should be walking around super-sexualized. I was just trying to explain the reasons why teen girls dress in such a manner. It is a natural instinct to want to express yourself in a sexual manner when you become sexually mature. I used myself as an example. because I had the same urges that I expressed through clothes. I do think it is important for parents to understand this urge in their teen daughters, not that they need to submit to every outfit their teen wants to wear.
But what about the pre-teens, many of them are wearing the same kinds of clothes and wearing make up etc. There are lots of girls these days that by age 10 already see problems with their bodies!!!! Already see things they wish they could chang about themselves. They stand in front of the mirror and wish they could get a tummy tuck so they could look "Good" in their bathing suits.
Again, I will reiterate that there is a larger issue in our society that puts so much pressure and importance of "looking perfect" and then ridicules and alienates women and young girls trying to fit in.
How fair that we as a country idolize beauty and yet when young females imitate this beauty we label them as "sluts" because the are bearing skin. That is blatently hypocritical!
We are the responsible party for children dressing in such a way, and instead of trying to address the real issues all I hear are arguments that parents should require a certain dress from their daughters. How about we actually tackle the contradictions instead of putting people down for the result.
If we as Americans were less sexually repressed, seeing a woman in a belly bearing shirt or naked for that matter would not cause such a stir. The naked human body is natual, skin is natural. And neither of these are overtly sexual. We as Americans, and it is the Christian majority in particular, who are perpetuating this idea that uncovering our bodies is a sin and "asking" for sexual attention. When in reality, the naked body is beautiful and not directly associated with sex!
I agree and disagree with you. Your right we as a society have put a tremendous emphasis on beauty and the struggle to achieve it, and that is a problem in itself, which I will address in another blog. I'm saying its wrong for companies to make these kinds of clothes for girls so young! I think your still only focusing on the rights of females in their teens, I'm really focusing on 8 - 13 yr olds who are wearing these kinds of clothes. I disagree with your statement that the naked body isn't directly associated with sex. I distinctly remember the very first time I saw a Playboy magazine. There are no sexual acts in it only the presenting of the female body and I remember how seeing that flesh made me feel and I was only 10!
Also I think that the clothing itself is what makes the body sexual in many cases. When females wear clothing that shows a lot of skin and covers only certain areas it makes us wonder what they have hidden, it makes us want to see what's covered up, it makes up imagine whats covered up making those areas even more sexually related. Your right, in saying if we all started uncovering then it would be less sexual, but your not ever going to get everyone to uncover and those who don't will still think sexually about the naked body which would present real problems in men taking advantage of women and children.
You said the girl you say was 14 -- that is the age group I am referring to. As for younger girls -- when you see an 8 year old naked are you initially turned on? No, because her skin isn't sexual until she is sexual. I am not saying that no one could ever find this sexual -- just that it is not normal.
Skin isn't inherently sexual! We place sex into the meaning of skin because we are told that skin = sex.
Are you saying that because an 8yr. old isn't sexual people can't find her sexual so its ok if she dresses provacative? Because that the most backwards logic i can think of! There are thousands of sexual predators out there who would disagree, who do think young girls are sexy and get off on seeing parents dress these girls this way
So I am supposed to live my life and force my children to live their lives in constant fear because someone, somewhere might think they are sexy? That is utterly ridiculous.
Besides that...only 5% of child sexual predators are strangers! The rest are people close to the family, someone you know or your child knows and trusts. If parents actually WATCH their children there is no reason to severely restrict a young girls' dress.
http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/chldsxab.html#recon
Above is a pretty helpful site on how to inform your child so that they don't become a target. No where does it say anything about dress.
By the way...SO WHAT if a perv down the street is excited about a young girl, as long as you watch your daughter and instruct her on how to stay out of sticky situations there is little threat.
You can't go through life worrying that some guy might find a young female attractive -- IT WILL HAPPEN REGARDLESS OF DRESS!!!! It is far more important to inform young girls about the danger and how to avoid it.
Everyone should read what Jacqulyn has to say here.
It really cuts to both pts.
Parents can't do much if their kid is a slut but at least they could explain to them why guys treat them like objects.
I'm a guy who tries really hard to keep my mind pure, and not look at girls like they're sex objects, and let me tell you it's damn hard with the way girls dress. Not to mention no girl ever believes me if I don't want to see them dressed that way, there's a horribly stigma about male heterosexuals that we're merely pigs that want slutty girls. Well yes, a lot of guys want to *SLEEP* with slutty girls, but I also know most of those guys eventually want to find a girl that's not slutty to settle down with. Who wants to share? So by being slutty girls really shoot themselves in the foot if they ever wish to get serious with a guy.
Oh yes, dress. I'm off topic. I think girls dress like sluts, and it sucks.
I totally agree with you. Many moral guys I know complain about the girls who dress so sexy. They don't want impure thoughts, but how can you not have impure thoughts when a girl is wearing basically no clothing?
This way of dressing does portray these children in a highly sexualized manner, yet they are merely copying the fashion of adults. As a culture we are slowly (and I mean uber-slowly) moving towards a feeling of more sexual freedom. We are already expressing this in our entertainment and fashion. Eventually, our minds will catch up with our outward appearances.
In addition, the only reason this dressing is sexualized is our repression of the naked human figure. We interpretate: skin = sex. When this is not the case. Our bodies are beautiful and we need to come closer to understanding that more skin does not have to mean more sexual titillation.
Adolecents are maturing younger than ever and can have adult bodies. It is perfectly natural to be proud of your new found sexual identity (not to be interpreted as intercourse but of the gradual progression our bodies from child form into adult form) and to show it off.
We also, need to understand that it is perfectly okay to be titillated by the skin of another, despite the age. (this should not be misinterpreted as it is okay to sexually fantacize about children, but when looking upon a child that has an adult body that is pleasing to you, why is it wrong to feel that way?) This is not a crime until you act out your titillation on a person too young to legally consent.
I assume from your name you're a girl. Trust me, it's best for guys not to be titillated.
WHY? Can you not control your urges? Are you saying that men wouldn't rape women if we wore more clothes?
Yes I am female.
The point to my post was that if we quit being so uptight about being sexually excited we could get past this whole issue. It is perfectly natual to become aroused when seeing an attractive member of the opposite sex (with or without clothes on!).
I'm not even talking rape, I'm talking about impairment of judgement. If I have testosterone in my veins, my pituitary glands, my hypthalamus, and my entire limbic system are going mad and I am not being rational as I wish to be anymore. Simply by dressing like this a girl can impair a guy's natural ability to think clearly and make rational, emotion-free decisions. That is natural, but has a time and place, which is not in public.
"This way of dressing does portray these children in a highly sexualized manner, yet they are merely copying the fashion of adults. "
-But is copying adults in their best interest? I don't think so. They aren't adults, so they shouldn't try to act like them. Should our 8 year olds be having sex because they're just copying adults? No.
"We are already expressing this in our entertainment and fashion. "
-Yea, which is a bad thing. Sex is way too prominent in today's society. Kids think they should all be having sex and if they aren't they have something seriously wrong with them.
You really have a grasp on this
I understand exactly wear your coming from, and it has worked in other countries especially across europe but we have to think of the safety of our kids. It is going to take many and I mean many years for that kind of change to occur and their has to be other changes in society to make that work also. So should we just set back and allow our children to look like pieces of meat now and risk them being exploited by boyfriends and pervert adults for this thought that one day their won't be as many perverts or that line of thinking about the human body? I'm sorry but I think we need to deal with what we got and what we got is a fascination with sex and nudity in this country. We aren't the same as other countries we have more violence then any other industrialized country on earth and many of us equate violence and sex together. We have to think about that.
sorry I was typing too fast I meant "where"
Just FYI - you can edit posts you have made if you're signed in.
But the problem that needs addressing is not the clothes we or our children wear, it is our attitude towards sexuality. Repressing children sexually by teaching them abstainance only creates an environment where sex is perceived as wrong to begin with. So any notion of sexuality is viewed with greater intensity than it would normally have.
Men do not rape out of sexuality -- they rape out of desire for power or control, to demean the gender that has constantly humiliated and rejected them. There are few men that rape purely out of sexual desire, and these men are generally date-rapists, not the type to prey on innocent children.
I am not saying that all little girls should be allowed to wear what amounts to underwear. All I am saying is that we need to tackle the issues behind this, not just continually repress ourselves into dressing a certain way for fear of exploitation.
I do agree with you but not when it comes children, their is nothing normal about being sexually attracted to an child. In this country at this time we have a great many pedophiles, we have even more that aren't listed as such but take advantage of children through pictures, videos, etc. No I'm not saying that if all kids started dressing appropriately it would end rape and abuse but it would create a better safer environment. We can't make every bad person change their ideologies and desires, but we could stop companies from selling trashy outfits. This is a step in the right direction, all I'm saying is that when you have people in the world who have control issues we shouldn't allow our kids to look so damn appealing to them.
Point taken.
Yet, we still need to approach the larger issue of sexual repression and how it affects the way we view people.
Parents should keep their kids looking clean. how in the heck do they let little kids dress like that? I have seen 6 year olds dressing worse than the prostitue next door, what kind of man attension will that bring?
I know that any kids I adopt in the future will not be allowed to wear clothes like that. The trend occurs most often with women's apparel, and I find that demeaning to girls and women, as though saying, "You should notice me because of my body!"
This is so true. I'm thankful to my mother because she put limits on us. Like I wasn't allowed to paint my nails until my freshman year in high school and I couldn't wear makeup until the end of my junior year in high school. She also taught my little sister and I to respect ourseleves and how by wearing certain things send the wrong message to people and so this really helped.
~Shanelle~
Parents letting kisd dressing like this are unconscious, because they don't realise that they actually put them in danger. If a young girl (like the one tcole saw) dresses like that, then is mor elikely to get abused, kidnapped or some other horrible stuff.
How do you know that? Only women who dress in such a way get abused or attacked? I doubt it.
Show me evidence that dressing in this particular fashion will increase your risk for abuse.
Parents are getting younger by the day. My boyfriends mother is a size one along with her daughters. Although she is 40 she feels a need to stay young so they all wear eachothers clothing. Which happens to be mini skirts and halters. Here I am wearing my size 9 in a sweatshirt and jeans.
And theres other young moms who encourage their daughters cause they themselves want to be that way.
-Kristen
Oh POOH! Wearing lingerie is a perfect way to feel sexy and not flaunt it like you charge by the hour. I love lingerie, and because it costs too much and I prefer Manolo's over Victoria's Secret, I have one outfit from H&M that is perfectly cute and sexy. You have an air of confidence (not arrogance), knowing that you have a secret that no one else knows. Unless you share that secret to your loved one. You would still feel great--and even greater because of his/her compliments :)
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity--and I'm not so sure about the universe"
-Albert Einstein
my baby girl aint neva gon wear no make-up..because its called MAKE-UP..wat the hell u gon make up on yo body?? a little might be ok 2 make yo face look decent..but alot just makes you look ugly and old when you take it off..Goths..wat in the hell is dat..i think dat only exist in america cuz i aint neva heard of dat since i got here..lol..i have no idea how it came about or why its even a way to dress..covering yourself all over in black is no entertainment...and wearing literally 20 chains on ur clothes..i know i've seen it.
Lorie-Ann
Make-up can be done tastefully. Most of the young girls seen wearing far too much make-up is their parents fault to begin with. There is such a thing as sitting down with your daughter and TEACHING her what looks good on her and what doesn't. If she still doesn't get it, there are a plethera of beauticians at any mall willing and ready to show your daughter the right colors and ways to apply make-up to look even better than natural, but still look natural.
As for Goths -- don't judge the fashion of something you don't understand. There is a saying that if you hate a specific group enough, someone in your family will be that way...
Ugh. With your english skills and the impressionable age looming, her wearing makeup is the last thing I would be worried about. Does this look like some instant messanger to you? Speak properly.
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity--and I'm not so sure about the universe"
-Albert Einstein
never neother woud i
WHAT? English Please
Parents these days let their kids do whatever they want. When I was younger it was not that way. There are way too many little skanky girls these days. The kids at my town's elemantary school dress more provacative than the high schoolers.
The problem isn't really the clothes or lack thereof. Its our own perversion. Skin does not equate sex.
I wish we were a more innocent and a less repressed society. And don't both telling me that is a contradiction because its not.
But the truth of the matter is I have NO idea how to effect those changes
At this point, all we can really do is continue to point out the problem. People inherently know that the naked body is beautiful. And a majority of children really enjoy nakedness.
We are TAUGHT that nakedness is wrong or sinful -- this is not a inate tendency.
I remember being incredibly angry at my father for not letting me leave the house without a shirt at 7. I didn't look any different from the boys down the street running shirtless and it was HOT. He tried to explain to me why I couldn't -- but I never understood the logic. Eventually we agreed that I would wear a swimsuit top instead of a shirt. There isn't anything overtly sexual about a 7 year old wanting to be a part of the group and go topless during the hot summer months. I had to be told that it was wrong/bad/unladylike.
I bet if you had close contact with a member of the opposite sex as a young child, your parents could attest to finding you playing "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." It is natural curiousity. There is nothing sexual about it -- usually no touching or arousal, just normal, natural curiousity.
Okay again your misunderstanding the point, its not what the other kids think, or how they react, its how the pervert down the street thinks, its what he's doing, its what that confused disturbed teenager thinks when he sees a little girl dressed that way. Don't you see what I'm trying to say? There are bad people in the world, they do bad horrible things to children, so why tease them with provacative clothing on young kids???? They hurt kids who don't dress provacatively all the time, so feeding their fantasy with these types of clothes only makes it worse. Your still not getting that I agree with you, there is a problem in the U.S, we do view the body as sexual, dirty, sinful whatever. And it would be nice if things were different, but their not. And they won't ever be with our huge population of conservative christians and other religious groups, thats just the way it is, because of this a lot of people value the body, so we have to deal with it to protect our children,
But by giving into your fears instead of confronting the problem we only further perpetuate the issue. If we continue to force women and young girls into a specific way of dressing/acting/portraying themselves all we do is prolong the progression to the place we want to be -- a place where you can freely wear what you want without stereotyping or evoking pervs.
Like I said above, informing young women about the dangers of sexual predators is FAR more important than restricting their dress. In 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are victimized sexually -- the predator is a close friend/relative/member to the family. Parents need to be aware of this and make the proper adjustments. The site I referenced before gives some great tips. No where do the mention dressing young women conservatively -- and I couldn't find any proof that provocative dress among children increases their chances of being victimized. If you can find such information please show me.
I'm going to stop because your still confusing the argument, your on a tangent about restricting teenagers and young adults I'm talking about children theres a difference maybe you don't see it maybe you don't care I don't know. I never once said that educating them wasn't important, but don't you think its important to educate them about their dress? What it may cause? How people may act? React? I'm not saying that there are statistics showing provacatively dressed girls are more likely to be sexually assulted, I know that the vast majority of kids assulted are by someone they know I am a Criminologist. What I was originally trying to discuss has been pulled into a different direction then what I was wanting it too. It was simple: Should YOUNG girls be dressing provacatively? Should 8,9,10 yr. olds be dressing this way? Forget upper teenagers that are considered young adults their old enough to make up their won minds, I'm talking about really young girls that just want to act and look older then they are. Girls that copy the older girls, you know the ones I'm talking about the ones that smoke, seem to have very little supervision, date older boys without close supervision. Do you see that theres a difference in what your arguing and what I'm arguing?
"Girls that copy the older girls, you know the ones I'm talking about the ones that smoke, seem to have very little supervision, date older boys without close supervision. Do you see that theres a difference in what your arguing and what I'm arguing?"
I think you are confusing dressing provocatively -- which I consider as over sexualizing oneself -- and showing more skin. I don't think that an 8 year old showing skin is provocative -- they aren't sexual yet. In addition, the way one dresses doesn't imply that they smoke, have little supervision, or date older boys. The problem with the girls you describe is parental negligence, not provocative dress.
I am saying that despite the age, showing a child's skin is not improper, we are placing improper thoughts onto it. When you see an eight year old in a bikini -- do you want to screw her? Probably not. A pedophile is attracted to the innocence of a child (in general). From that one could assume that when such a child wears revealing clothes it would turn a pedophile attracted to innocence off.
So, while I agree with dress codes in school -- to a degree -- I also feel that even as a child, she has the right to express herself. If she has attentive parents, like I did, dressing in any manner will not increase the likelihood of sexual vicitmization.
Generally speaking you don't know what your talking about when it comes to pedophiles so stop acting like you do. I guess you've never heard of all the child pornography thats all over the internet? A lot of that pornography places YOUNG girls in really provacative clothing and makeup. A lot of it puts them into adult situations. The purpose is to exploit the innocence of the child by dressing it in attire not meant for it. Its done all the time, anyway back to the point, again your misunderstanding what I'm trying to say. I don't think theres anything wrong with young kids wearing bathing suits when their going swimming or shorts or anytype of summer clothes that perfectly acceptable. I'm agreeing with you. What I'm saying is wrong is when Parents let their YOUNG girls dress provacatively!!!!! When the purpose of their attire is to look sexy!!!! Do you understand the difference in what I'm saying? I'm not saying that all young girls who dress this way smoke and do all those other things, I was specifically talking about those girls though. I'm not generalizing all young girls just the ones that are young and want to appear older by dressing in clothes designed that make them appear so.
You're right -- I am not a pedophile expert -- but I can do research to support my claims. The information I provided was cited.
In addition, child pornography is quite different than a young girl dressing in a way that bares her skin. In one situation (porn) she is being exploited, in the other she is choosing what to wear. These are completely different scenarios.
I will concede one point -- the girls you are speaking of do need parental intervention, that is definate. If the parents step in and pay attention to their daughter, become active in her life, guide her into a good future, ect -- I think with this the girl will naturally gravitate away from the dress that you are speaking of. I don't think any well adjusted, happy, loved, self-respecting young female would dress in lingere when going to the mall.
But where exactly do you draw the line? Can she bare her belly? Is she allowed to wear a mini-skirt? I still feel that showing skin isn't the root of all evil and that females (young and old) should be allowed to do such. But as always, we still need to teach them to dress for the occasion -- different places = different dress.
I think you made my point without even realizing it earlier when you said that these really young girls aren't physically mature, and aren't thinking about their bodies or sex. This is a good point, what I'm trying to say is why are some parents letting girls this young dress in a manner that makes them appear as if their sexually mature? See my point?
You can't make a chicken be a rooster -- even if you put the red mohawk and teach it to cock-a-doodle in the morning. -- point being, letting young females dress in skin baring clothes does not make them sexualized. They aren't sexualized -- that is something YOU are placing upon them. They don't look sexually mature -- they look like little girls with less clothes (than you may be accustomed). Skin does not equal sex! They are dressing how they like to dress, be it because of hot weather or just fashion trends or deeper issues of insecurities.
I can see your point to a degree. Perhaps parents should exert more control -- but I still disagree that this control should be focused on the manner of dress. One must focus on the individual child, attempt to understand why she wishes to dress like she does. If you find she thinks it is hot -- at long as her no-no spots are covered what is the problem. If it is because of fashion -- introduce her to other types of fashion, become involved in her likes. If it is because she has low self esteem -- tackle her insecurities, make sure she knows you think she is beautiful despite her dressings, pay more attention emotionally, etc.
I have to stick to my guns on this one. It is a societal problem with sexual repression not the little girl's outfit. We can't continue to pretend that we live in a world that doesn't place a huge significance upon sexuality -- because we do. Sex is soooo taboo, especially when including a young child (not in the sex, in the discussions about sex). We try to hid sex from children as long as possible, yet they are bombarded by implied sexuality constantly.
The solution to your dilemma is to be more open about sex. Not necessarily run out and explore it physically, but to be more talkative about sex. Talking about it doesn't make it happen, but it will allow children to understand themselves, their sexuality, and society as a whole better. Why do we feel that we should deprive them of knowledge about sex? Why do we feel that we must shield children from their own sexuality?
what happened to this article
Okay, we can't deny that the way one dresses influences the way he/she behaves. A young girl being allowed to dress like a promiscuous 30 year old woman will inevitably start acting like, guess what, a promiscuous 30 year old woman. I don't understand the excuse that wanting to wear less clothes is a natural tendency; I would like to think that we've progressed from the cave-men era and have gotten to the social point where we are striving to act more civilized.
Exactly. And usually it isn't necessary to wear less clothes just because of the weather. No, I don't live in the midwest where it's very hot in the summer, but even if it was, most buildings have air conditioning. And like other people have said, making your skirt a few inches shorter isn't really going to cool you down that much. It just makes you look like you're trying to be sexy and have the attention of all of the men around you.
If a person wears very little clothing, then I don't think they should complain when they get whistled at while walking down the street, by people driving by, construction workers, etc. If you're going to dress like a promiscuous person, then you better accept the consequences of that. (And no, by a consequence, I don't include rape because nobody deserves that)
"A young girl being allowed to dress like a promiscuous 30 year old woman will inevitably start acting like, guess what, a promiscuous 30 year old woman."
--where did you get this info? personal experience or actual scientific/sociological study? I dressed mighty "promiscuous" in my teen years -- I didn't sleep around, I didn't try to be too mature for my age, I didn't dream of being a stripper, etc...
"I would like to think that we've progressed from the cave-men era and have gotten to the social point where we are striving to act more civilized."
--What does ANY type of dress have to do with being civilized? Isn't being civilized about knowing how to treat your fellow man and to strive to benefit society as a whole?
In fact, caveman era persons only dressed to keep their genitals from harm or to keep warm. How is this vastly different from the reasons we dress today? Granted we have a plethera of "fashions" to choose from, but the overall reasons for dressing are vitually the same -- we wear clothes to protect our genitalia from dirt to prevent infection (the same as any other hygenic behavior) and to keep warm.
And what of tribal cultures? The ones located in hot climates tend to wear only loin cloths and most women go topless. How are their cultures uncivilized? They live peacefully with each other and their environment.
Or what about technologically civilized places, not too different from the US, like topless/all nude beaches in Spain or even the tendency to dress less in places like Brazil -- they call it a Brazillian wax for a reason!
I'll put it to you this way -- it seems incredibly odd to the rest of the world that Americans can turn on prime time television and see a detailed version of someone shot in the face with no legal repercussions -- but one boob for less than a second and it garners a half million dollar fine! When did it become okay for us to violently murder another but against the law to see a boob!?!?!?!?
This is about American priorities! We need to step back and realize that the "promiscuity" that we place upon women for dressing sexually is completely wrong. The naked human body is both beautiful and vehemently opposed in the US, yet the disfiguring, harming, or mutiliation of the same naked human body is allowed as entertainment.
I agree that it is insane that americans won't even flinch at horrible scenes of violence. That is just another of the wonderful challenges that our society faces. however that is an entirely different subject. Parents are responsible for their children, and how they raise them. I too think that is is horrible that these young girls are being taught to flaunt themselves a such a young age. Yes everyone has their own personal choice about dress, but for goodness sakes!!! My younger brother is a very good young man, and he hates (dislikes) girls who dress immodestly and won't have anything to do with them. I think as females we don't realize what exactly our dress does to men. Honestly, it isn't fair of us to manipulate their hormones just so we can feel "sexy." We get angry when our bosses hold their authority and power over our heads and flaunt it. It is no wonder that guys are starting to get tired of having their buttons pushed as well. Parents need to start teaching their children better, but again, the american family (in general) is falling apart, and that is another issue.
So in a sense you're saying that men have no control over their hormones and are just sexual creatures with the judgement and integrity of retarded monkeys. Yeah the same sort of excuse is used by rapists who say 'But she dressed sexy. She wanted it!' Your ignorance is only insulting yourself.
OMFG - SHUTUP ABOUT CHILDREN DRESSING LIEK THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! Who the F*** Cares I dont give a GODD*** F***ing S*** About their dress, and a most i think its cute, YES and I DO think it is Sexy - but Sexy is an Adj. not a Noun - and thus Does NOT relate to SEXUALL INTERCORSE - So With that said, CHILDREN look Sxy, cute and W/e else yes - And a 9yo girl walking around with a Thong on (that we can see) or a 8 yo girl with a Tubetop (How does it saty on LOL) : or even the 11yo Girl I saw today waering what Appered to be a VERy tight Shirt with a rather "interesting" Section that PURPOSly Gave Demension to her Upper areas. - I dont care, and nither should you, Let it go - its the new world - Children have a mind, so let them choose what THEY fell it right or WROGN NOT what Society "wants" to see.
The key is SELF RESPECT. Try to teach a kid modesty and you won't get far. Teaching them self respect could mean the world (figure of speech). And pedophiles and rapists will commit their heinous acts no matter what the woman/girl is wearing, or what they look like. It's about CONTROL not sex. And the only problem I see here is your grammer.