We have been friends since freshmen year in high school. Now, she's in college. Today, she came out to me that she is able to pay for her own tuition...through prostitution.
Let's call her Nevada. Nevada is smart, funny and very loyal. She was one of the top 5% in the school and everything. I've always thought prostitution as something girls should not do...despite how desperate they are. There are tons of other decent jobs that a girl can do without giving herself away.
She told me that money is not the only thing prostitutes like her are seeking. Pleasure, lust and a little bit of adventure all play huge roles in her decision. There are many girls her age who are in this industry as well. She has many older friends who are in this business because they have kids to feed. Their husbands do not earn enough money to pay for their rent. Some of their husbands are even prostitutes themselves. Many places wouldn't hire them for decent jobs due to their lack in education and experience. Many of these prostitutes are actually proud with their occupation though.
I asked her if her parents knew about it. Nevada told me that she wouldn't dare to make such heartbreaking confession to her parents and asked me to keep this secret. She further explained how some of her friends started to act weird around her...especially the guys due to the fact that one of our friends ran into her at the strip club once. So, I'm guessing some of our friends already stopped talking to her.
During our conversation, I tried to get her to change her mind because it's illegal. But she told me it was useless because she is really passionate about prostitution. And she knows how to keep herself safe. Nevada even joked about becoming a porn star too. I had to laugh. She was still the same person I knew back in high school. Sure, her job isn't really acceptable by the society. But she is my friend and I will support her even if I don't agree with her philosophy. What else can I do for her? If I refused her like other people, I'm sure she won't have anyone to fall on. That's even worst. I'm worried about her. At the same time, I want her to be happy. It's not like she's hurting anyone. So for now, this will just be our little secret.
no matter what someone does we need to be there to support them. I think it's amazing that you're willing to stand by her side dispite your obvious disagreements. Because, trust me, she'll need you sooner or later.
All You can do is be there for her..........
The real problem is that I cannot stand up for her as much if people start saying bad stuff about prostitution. Due to the fact that I do not agree with her in the first place sort of creates a tension in me...like should I say what I believe or say what I don't believe to protect my friend? Most of the time I choose to protect her. And people think I'm turning into a prostitute myself. Haha. People are just too funny.
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Hi,
I just found out my best friend is posting ads online to offer herself to men for money. The thing is, in my state, prostitution behind closed doors is legal ( go figure, liberal RI, not good for everything)... anyway, i have to confront her that i know (She left her email open at my house) and theres no way i can face her without telling her i accidentely found out. Anyway, i dont know what im going to say to her just yet, but i just hope this confrontation does not ruin our friendship, i want her to know that, like you are for your friend, i will be there for her no matter what. advise on how to approach this one?
Kudos to you for sticking by her side. It's amazing that while you disagree with her lifestyle, you're able to realize that she's not her 'job.' I've been in a similar situation, while not as severe, where one of my friends did something that everyone viewed as bad and she lost the majority of her previous friends. We need to realize that people make mistakes, that's what makes them human. It's a hard thing to do, and you should be proud that you've been able to do it.
Thanks. I'll try my best to support her. I wonder why our friends would simply stop talking to her because of what she does. I mean, are they afraid she's going to get them to do the same thing? Is it a disease? I'll never understand.
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Women have been doing this since the beginning of time. It has always been dangerous, it has always been tempting. I hope for her. What is she studying? Maybe when she's done with college she can stop, get a 'real' job and lead a life that society approves of. Or she may continue her lifestyle, if she does I hope she is able to make more friends like you.
She is majoring in English. A brilliant writer, I tell you. I hope she gets a real job and realize there are tons of things she can do. And I think she knows that too. It's just the way people look down on prostitutes that ticks her off. In the future, she'll probably be writing a book about it and spread words around how prostitution isn't a bad thing...or something like that. I've been wondering too that if prostitution becomes legal, will it reduce the number of rapes?
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I can see that you are torn. I think what you said about the rape thing is a valid point, perhaps. I think that you should tell her that you disagree, and discuss WHY. She has obviously told you why she agrees with it! It's your turn now!
I hope all goes well, it's very hard to step back at look at a situation from both sides, especially when you disagree with it.
Good job being supportive, make sure she knows you disagree though, you don't want her to get the idea that you think it's a good idea, just that you are there for her, no matter what.