June 26, 2008
I kind of did not stick to my meal paln. In place of an afternoon snack I had a candy bar and cotton candy. It was not bad enough to say that my whole day was ruined but I ate way too much. For dinner I had at least half a box of wheat thins, tuna with mayo, and a hamburger steak. For those of you who do not know what that is it is a big hamburger without the bun. I was too lazy to wash my dishes but I will do them later. You know, I am an emothional eater. I eat when something is bothering me. Today I felt sick. I am so out of touch with God that I am constantly depressed. Instead of reading the Bible, or doing something productive, like exercizing or cleaning, I eat to make myself feel better. It is a bad affair to have food as your cruch. It is a bad affair to have a cruch period. I am depressed because I eat and I eat because I am depressed. That is how is has been for a long time!
1:35am
June 26, 2008
I ruined my week again. I am on this weekly diet where I can only cheat one day a week. And to top it off I am depressed because my boss wants to talk to me. Life is so hard but yet it is so easy. What I mean by that is that you would think that I have an easy life. I live in a beautiful place in a beautiful house and my grandma is paying my rent for me. But truely, what you do not see is my dark past. The same dark past that haunts me everyday. My past haunts me so I eat to get rid of my thoughts. People tend to do things that cover up their feelings. I eat to cover up mine. My knees constantly hurt because I am so heavy. I am constantly having to sit back and watch people live life and have fun doing it. I am too big to do the things that I love!
7:35pm
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Have you considered therapy? Or even going to talk to a religious counselor? That might help you deal with some of your emotions, and help you overcome your eating habits.
~C
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I find myself doing that emotional eating recently, especially being among stick thin people and when I need new clothes I can't find any that fit me. I can say that I know how trying loosing weight can be with the emotional ups and downs.
I have always considered exercise more healing than anything when I went through those times. I have not really done that recently due to the fact that the area I live in is so polluted outside that I can't go out, my flat is so small I can't do anything inside, and as I'm not a National of the country I'm in, I can't get a membership to a gym. I do hope that you find strength in yourself to find a balance and sense of peace.
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Wow, I didn't know that some countries would not allow non-nationals to get a gym membership. once again, I learned something new.
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