I just received a phone call from a dear friend of mine. She and I are both lucky enough to have been selected out of a large list of applicants to sing in the school talent show next Friday, and we both were incredibly excited...
Now she's thinking about backing out, because some of her so-called "friends" have made fun of her incredible singing voice.
I'm not one to say someone has an incredible voice if they don't. I've been singing since I was three, voice lessons since sixth grade, All-East and All-State choirs, as well as several small music scholarships--and piano since the age of 5. I know music like the back of my hand. And her voice is... ridiculous. Amazing. She's a small girl, tiny and tall and willowy, almost, with a rather high-pitched speaking voice... and she looks like what you'd imagine a first soprano such as myself SHOULD look.
But no. She has a voice remniscent of Joss Stone and Natosha Bedingfield, with an Ella Fitzgerald kind of twist, and something remarkably moody just under the surface. It's unique, it's beautiful, and it's completely--COMPLETELY--unexpected.
And now she's scared to sing, because of some crude comments made by her friends. Now I come to the real point.
What is it that causes teenagers to make fun of someone, to hurt their feelings, when we know it only brings them down? I make it a point to try and compliment random people every day--trying to counteract the hatefullness of whatever else happens to them--but it takes around 7 compliments to even begin to erase the hurt from an insult.
What is it, then? Do we like the emotional rise--although it isn't really a rise I particularly want? Do we like the power of hurting someone? Are we just fascinated with our hold over our peers?
It's like a mental battle is going on in the minds of teens. On one side, everything we've learned thus far says, "Don't do it. Don't bring them down. What purpose does that solve? How will it help the world?" And then there's the other side, saying, "Do it. Bring them down. Do you want to feel good, to feel powerful? Then do it. Yield your power to hurt them. DO IT." And the temptation to feel power leads us to harm someone else for no reason. For our own satisfaction.
I, for one, am tired of it. If I can't convince this girl to perform, we might lose the next Ella Fitzgerald... all because of a few hateful comments said to her by people she trusts.
So are we willing to compromise our world in order to feel better about ourselves? There it is. There's the rub!
Good blog entry.
I think a number of factors can contribute to bullying. Parents, for one, could condition their children (without knowing it) to act this way towards their fellow students. Society tells kids to have self-esteem and think better of themselves--while neglecting to tell them that other people deserve the same right.
Don't let your friend back out. If you continue to have trouble you should probably tell someone in the school, like a guidance counselor.
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People try to bring others down because they feel inferior, and there are two ways for them to make themselves feel better. One, they try to inflate themselves, or two, they put the other person down. Teens can be especially harsh, as it's an akward time, and many teens have lower self-esteem.
Bullying is how humans demonstrate to other humans what is not considered normal. Its purpose is to promote comformity and it reinforces the solidarity of the ridiculing group by affirming that they are right and that the "deviant" is wrong. This is a good thing if the deviant is putting themselves in danger, but it has become an unnecessary sociological trait in USA today. Instead of promoting survival behaviors and damning dangerous ones, bullying becomes centered around neutral or positive behaviors, simply because they are different. The best thing that you can do is tell her how beautiful her voice is as many times as you can. People want to believe good things about themselves and if she hears positive things from you, then she may begin to regard the opinins of the bulliers as less and less vauable.
ive looked into bullying as well and it also makes e question a lot of things. i dont think bullying comes from any one things or that any one thing prompts it, i think its a bunch of varity factors that vary case by case.
the best advice i can keep telling your friend how amazing a voice she has. the more people such as yourself build her up the better she'll feel.
good luck. sammicyanide.
i ont undersand why hr friends would blly her? MAybe they are no sucjgh good friends then. anyways,sh needs to stopcarngwhat ohe people think and do what is best for her. Its not good to care too much aout other eoples opnion, and most likly teen only bully thosewho they are jelous of? So maybe he "friends" are jlous ofher voice if its so amazig...
I think sometimes bullies are excluded from their family lives. Sometimes they feel depressed or forgotten and they choose to take it out on others. Not all know that there is better help out there these days and it makes some things a lot easier.