Today was a HARD day!
First of all I was exhausted alll fuhlippin day....and this guy in my class is just such a jerk...I like cant even handle it!
and to start off the morning, I had gained like a pound and a half...and I had gone for a run/walk yesterday....and for fat kids thats a big deal...
Also today is one of my best friends birthdays....so of course had to to celebrate!
so we go to a street festival...and get kettle corn...ahhh soo bad for you...and then i got fudge!
AHH! tempations!!!
lol it was soo bad...and after school i had chicken nuggets and a doubble cheeseburger with no meat....dont ask....
It is soo hard for me because all my friends are hott and skinny like I said before, and when I like go shopping with them or hang out with them, and cant fit into any of the stores that they fit into...I get sooo discouraged....often times I will go into the bathroom and like cry...I know I am a dork haha
I want to be in shape....I mean obvisouly to look good...but more importantly to be healthier, I dont want to die at a young age! I want to live for like sooo long! and if I keep up my unhealthy lifestyle...thaat wontt happen lol...
I mean ugh...I dont even know why I am spilling my hear out on this...I dont eveen know any of the people that will read this...so maybe that is why I am writing this, because people need to know the truth about me, the struggle, the fact that I am dying inside, but I am afraid if people knew that, the looks would get even worse, the stares, the side comments made about me, so maybe that is why only the internet can know, and noone that would confront me about it.
I think my friend is bulimic, my other friend heard her vomitting the other day, and she is suddenly as skinny as a twig...she looks beautiful though....
I could never be bulimic...so dont worry...I sing...and the acid would ruin my voice....and I like food too much to be anorexic so there goes that...
the worst part of all....
I am attending a Culinary Arts School, do you have ANY idea how hard it is to eat healthy where we make mashed potatos and creamy soups every day?? And yummy pastas and chicken and pizza....its like HELL its soo tempting haha its bad...and I mean our homemade croutons...and our chef lets us snack ALL DAY LONG!!! its soo bad!
I need more self control
I also need self esteem....every time that I get pretty good self esteem someone ruins it...causing me to go and be a fat kid and eat a ton of naughty foods...I cannot win...people make fun of fat people, but they dont realize it makes it worse because then we get depressed and want to eat more
I need to be like entertained I have decided....because a lot of the time I eat because I am bored...and I have nothing better to do, if I was entertained or at least doing something to help the adhd go away...maybe I would eat less?
some tips!
WALK MORE!
excercise....like 40 cardio...20 weigghts or resistance or core
eat tons of fruits and veggies!
eat high proteins...but lean proteins
easy on the WHITE carbs...aka white rice, white bread
make goals for yourself
write down everything that you eat
drink a glass of water half an hour before you eat, you wont be as hungry
eat a sald before your dinner...dont pour your dressing right on top, just dip ur fork in it then stab the salad
sushi is actually REALLY yummy...and one entire roll only has like 200 calories in it!
thanks kids for reading!
You sure did have a tough day.
Looks like you have a handle on the health ideas of eating. The thing is you should only eat because you are actually hungry. Not bored or sad and a lot of time it is hard to tell the diffrence.
Online is a good place to vent because annonimity makes us all feel safe to be honest.
Did you know that there are more eating disorders out there beyond the well known anorexia and bulemia. There is another kind that is less known and yet probably more wide spread. It is called binge eating. Kind of like bulemia minus the puking. An example would be a person with esteem issues eating out of upsettedness eating a double cheese burger, a whole order of chicken nuggets, funnel cake, fried zucchini, all the sushi, popcorn, orange, and a whole bunch of other things all in one time frame from a few hours to a day. I do not want to say that is you, but I wanted to bring it to your attention and to mention that although it seems harmless it can be just as dangerous. I do this from time to time too and often wonder if I am a binge eater, if i notice it more I will bring it up to my Doc.
Keep trying, no lying and if you think that there is more to what your going through it is possible to chat with your Doc without your parents.
It is all your choice.
Keep on, we are here with you
~T
all truths are easy to understand once discovered; the point is to discover them ~galileo