I like to think of myself as a pretty open person. I've got friends from different backgrounds, which is easy considering the degree of diversity in my high school. For the most part, my school is a big melting pot and everyone gets along. There are fights, but most of the time they are between two people of the same race and over something like a girl.
No where have I ever read that Christianity condemns homosexuality. It's hard for me to understand the hate that so many people meet because of their sexual orientation. Personally, I'm okay with homsexuality. It's whatever makes you happy. If you can find true love, all the happiness to you for finding what we all search for in life. But I realize that even I say things sometimes without meaning to.
Even last night, my friends & I swam at one of their neighbor's pools, who happen to be a gay couple. When asked who's pool we were at, few of us, even the girl who is their neighbor, called them by their names. We simply said we were at the "gay guys' pool." Even though it didn't seem like a big deal to us, I realize now that if they'd heard us they would've been extremely offended. It pains me to know that they were being so generous to us, and yet we didn't respect them enough to use their names.
Another example, if something I don't particularly like happens, I typically respond with "you're so gay." I didn't realize the message I was sending until very recently when I heard my seven year old nephew say it too. Though it wasn't intentional, I made him biased for the future.
We're unknowingly sending messages to the world everyday. I can't count how many people use the phrase, "that's so gay" on a daily basis. It may just be a small saying, but to kids like my nephew, it's their first insight into the world & how it views homosexuality. He'll start to say that & by the time he reaches an age where he understands, he'll probably be opposed to homosexuality or think it's something horrible, which isn't the case.
I know that after realizing all of this, I'm definitely going to make a conscious effort to change the message I send and/or promote to the world. The world will be a better place if we all do the same.
ONE LOVE.
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I try to avoid saying "that's so gay" out of respect, though to be honest, I simply cannot stand the idea of having my speech hedged under the guise of political correctness. Is this not censorship? I'll respect the decisions of homosexuals, but no one can tell me what's acceptable or unacceptable to say.
The worst part of this censorship is that it is not governmentally implemented, but our society willing placed it upon itself. It reminds me, a little bit, of the premise of Ray Bradbury's novel Fahrenheit 451. Ever read it? In it, people have become a bunch of sheep who cannot speak their minds, voice their own opinions, or do anything differently because of a horribly restrictive society which, as Bradbury clearly states in the novel, was brought on by their own apathy and failure to speak out, whether that speech might be of tolerance or criticism.
I can come across as rude occasionally because I don't usually buy into the politically correct rhetoric, which, as I've already said, amounts to self-instituted societal censorship.
There is no reason why anyone should simply accept today's politically correct mannerisms. This is America, let's not become the timid sheep of Bradbury's fantasies, so speak your minds, even if it's something that may be offensive or disagreeable to others. Dialogue is a two-way street, we need to realize the fact that there will be people who will be driving in the other lane, going in the opposite direction of you, for that is their unalienable right. I say, down with political correctness, long live free speech.
No one forces anybody to be "politically correct." But it is unreasonable to insult someone and not expect that person to be offended. You can say "that's gay" to your heart's content. But don't be surprised if a gay person becomes angry with you for using "gay" as a stand in for "bad." Freedom of speech also includes the right to criticize speech.
It's not universal, it's black
Animals are humans too
I think it definitely does send a negative message about homosexuality. Now, people say "that's so gay" for just about anything. But when I first began hearing the phrase it was always in reference to something that was viewed specifically as gay or effeminate. i heard the way the word progressed to cover all things that people generally didn't like. That's a big reason I dislike this phrase so much, I remember how it started and that when someone said "that's so gay" that person specifically meant that he or she disliked something that was "homosexual" in nature.
It's not universal, it's black
Animals are humans too
I appreciate that you are becoming mindful of your speech and how it affects others. I would say that in the first instance, the use of the word gay was far less offensive than in the second instance. I mean, if the guys are gay, then the word accurately describes them. If you mean something is bad or stupid, then the word is being used inappropriately and a negative connotation is applied to it.
I wrote a blog a while back that more accurately explains my feelings on the issue, through an incident similar to your experience with your nephew. It's called Wee Tiny Homophobia, and can be found at:
http://progressiveu.org/191206-wee-tiny-homophobia
I hope you'll read it, as it is very similar to what you are pondering here. It may give you further insight into the issue.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman