Prom Ruins Friendships

Very recently, my friend and I got into an argument about things he had said. Senior prom is coming up, and every one has been so hyped up about it that PromFever is going around! So this boy... he basically tells me that he has no date. And he's contemplating asking my friend- let's call her Girl A. All seems well, this is good right? My dateless friend seems to have found a date, yipeee!

Ok, well here's the catch. Girl A, the girl he's contemplating asking to prom... he doesn't like her. AT ALL. He straight out told me that she was fat, she's loud, she's annoying, and he generally doesn't like her that much. Now you may be wondering, why the heck is he even thinking about asking her then?! That's what I thought. When I asked him, he said, "because I want to go with your group and to the party afterward." At first, I thought that I might be hearing wrong, but he very, VERY clearly told me that he does not like Girl A, wouldn't dance with her at prom, and just basically didn't want to go with her. Desperation at its best? I think so.

So, knowing this, I confide in 2 of my best friends- both of whom are close to this boy. Friend #1 tells me that she has heard him say that Girl A was fat before, that she knows the boy doesn't really like her, and that he's a big jerk for using her. Friend #2 however... takes the guy's side. This annoyed me, because she and Girl A are really good friends, even better friends than me and Girl A. You would think that it is a person's duty to stick up for her friend when some guy is calling her FAT and LOUD, among other things. But nooo.. she uses the "cultural" card.

Friend #2 claims that because he is new-ish to the USA, he can't be responsible for what he's saying, because he's not really ready for society. Okay, well how has he gotten by for the last 4 years? And why hasn't he stopped saying those things, EVEN though his friends & mine have told him before in private, that saying those things aren't cool and just aren't acceptable? I know he isn't dumb because he's in every AP class possible, so that's not the case.

The next day, I hear that the boy has asked Girl A. Girl A happily accepted, but the boy continued to complain about how he didn't like her. I was REALLY ticked off by then, and even more so when Friend #2 stuck up for the boy. Not only did she stick up for him, she also told him exactly what I said to her about what he said- and the result? The boy & Girl A are both dateless and now don't want to attend prom at all! AHHH! Now I don't want to seem like a complete drama queen, but I was (and am still) a bit upset that my supposed "best friend" ALWAYS takes the side against me. Furthermore, when I talked to the guy again, he completely denied saying that Girl A was loud, and that she was annoying, etc. He did 'fess up to calling her fat, but he said "it was a mistake."

Did I mention that Girl A had a brush with bullimia last year because she thought she was too fat? Yea.. so imagine how bad it'd be if she found out that the boy called her fat. Oh wait.. she did find out! And then she called me, and said "did my prom date call me fat?" Yeah... what a disaster.

So what is the moral of this story? Prom hurts friendships. EVEN the friendships you've had for 6+ years... ugh. Someone needs to talk some sense into me before I say something REALLY rude to friend #2... gah. Some best friend.

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