The Eyes of the Truely Alive.

I already ended the detox...I lasted about 12 hours, but I was just too intensely hungry and I hate the feeling of being hungry; I've suffered hunger too much in my life because of poverty; so I hate subjecting myself to hunger unnecessarily; that, and I was dreaming about stuffing my face with pork chops dripping in gravy last night; I'd say that is a pretty clear sign that my body wasn't into the whole thing. I'm meeting with my teacher/naturopath for a half hour of paid time (before I was just getting her advice for free,) and we will be talking about a good detox plan for me; I do get really intense hunger and low blood sugar; it's funny, when I was younger, living homeless here and there, I could go four days at a time without anything to eat, now I can't even go a day. I think all that starving back then has whacked my body all out; anyway, I went to New Seasons today and bought some groceries since obviously I'm not going to be living on lemonade and protein shakes for the next ten days!

(Ok, on to a totally different topic...)

So somewhere, once upon a time, I heard the phrase "you can tell by the eyes of the truly alive..." meaning something like; if a person is living his or her authentic life (oh God, do I hate those New-Agey terms...makes me sound like a fifty-yr old hipster-yuppy...) anyway, you'll be able to tell by that little spark in their eyes. I love that phrase and ever since, when I meet someone new, I immediately make eye contact and assess their "aliveness..." It is pretty interesting; many people in our culture won't make eye contact at all, many others make very brief eye contact before averting their eyes. But those who are truly alive, those who are living life on their own terms, the way they want, with a sense of purpose and freedom, meet your eyes head on, with no shame and nothing to hide. And their eyes have a special glow, a special aliveness that speaks for itself; a spark of energy and love and youthfulness regardless of age that cannot be faked.

And I do mean regardless of age, my almost ninety yr old friend Dorothy has that spark, I know some punks in their forties or fifties who have the spark, and then, of course, I know plenty of youngins who have it; but sadly, I see a lot of youngins without it; even babies. So what are the common denominators for folks who have this spark? Well, here are ten things that seem to hold true across the board.
1) They play a lot. People who don't play enough, it shows. I think people need approximately four hours of play a day to feel really good. Play is very different for each person; and that four hours of play doesn't have to be all in a row; and it doesn't have to be when you are "off the clock," if you can play at your work, all the better! Play is, in my mind, anything from joking with a friend to quietly reading a book, learning an instrument, tickling a kid, wrestling with a lover, skipping in the halls, baking bread, digging in the dirt, anything that gives you that lighthearted "I am a kid again," feeling. I frequently blend play and work; I run around in my socks in the halls at work, I tease the ladies as I give them their meds, I send goofy e-mails, I write letters to my family. I also, of course, play a lot when I am nannying; today Jack was attacked by my tickling hands several times, we both laughed hysterically and tore the cushions off of the couch and chased each other around the house.
2) They don't stress about finances. I've heard a lot of people complain "so-and-so is no good with money..." but the truth often is they are people who have other priorities...money just isn't as important as playing and enjoying life. These are the type of people who would rather patch their pants for the zillionth time or hitchhike to get where they are going then to work those extra hours needed to buy a new pair or to buy a plane ticket. And they find fun in the processes of life as well; so they see money as a hindrance to having fun in a way. If you have money to buy a plane ticket for example, you miss out on the joys of hitchhiking! I was talking with a couple last night who where just about to head out on a "down the West coast hitchhiking trip," and they talked in glowing terms about the hitchhiking they'd already done; the random parties they'd been invited to, the new friends they had made. Now they probably could have worked harder to buy plane tickets, but why would they? They see hitchhiking as a great adventure, as a source of play as well as a way to get somewhere. I admire that sense of adventure.
3) They love intensely. These are the folks you are going to see being taken advantage of by others, because they have giant hearts and don't care about money anyway, so they tend to give their last dollars away and give their hearts away almost indiscriminately. Often, they have lots of woeful tales of heartbreak. These are the folks who feel a passionate and mad love of other living things as well; these are the folks who chain themselves to trees and refuse to eat animal products often. These are the folks who rescue animals from factory farms, these are the folks who work at non-profits. These are those who are emphatic through and through.
4) They love learning. Since they are truly alive, their brains are truly and naturally curious. These are the folks who go to the library and get out four or five books for one week.
5) They love their bodies. They are at peace with themselves, and they don't have hangups about the jiggle around their midsection (their muffin top,) or the hair on their legs or under their armpits. A peace with yourself is important part of loving the rest of the earth.
6) They know how to nurture. They know who important it is to serve hot tea to guests, how a comfy couch at the end of a long day feels, how wonderful a warm bath or a massage can be. They really like to care for those around them, which goes back to the intense love thing.
7) They love good food. Although these folks are often poor, because they chose play and love above work, they value good food as a way to nurture their own beloved bodies and they love to cook for others. (Food Not Bombs is a great example of this! I love you guys, you are the best!,) anyway, these people will go to great lengths to be well-fed. They don't turn up their noses at dumpstered food, they often love to garden and get as much wild crafted foods as possible; they enjoy the simple blessing of a full belly at the end of the day.
8) They are careful about what they say. They know how much words hurt and are careful with their own.
9) They are generous with their time.
10) They have the best stories. Because they often play more then other folks, they live by their wits and they don't like working "regular" jobs, they almost always have a great story to tell.

Anyway, none of us is prefect, so I guess this is my list of ideals both for myself and those around me.

May we all be free..may we all love and play with abandonment.
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Love ya,
Carrot

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