Here goes the first post here. First of all I'd like, before I go into my seemingly anti-fundamentalist musings, to say that I do consider myself a Christian. I'm not exactly a "Bible-Thumper", but my relationship with God is important to me. However, besides my endless issues with the Church, I have recently begun to ponder another issue.
I was raised, as most Christians are, to believe that sex outside of marriage is immoral. I have held to this belief for many, many years. Even though I have had slip-ups, I have always still believed that non-marital sex was in violation of God's will. But I have begun to wonder- is it? There are plenty of Biblical passages regarding marriage and divorce, I have not found any that specifically address the concept of sex outside of marriage. There are passages that rebuke prostitution and adultery, but they don't speak of two people in love (or maybe not for that matter) that have sex that are not married.
Naturally, being a man I enjoy sex. I have yet to find a woman that I have felt like marrying. I hope to at some point, but is it all that immoral to explore the sexual universe until then?
I know. This sounds a lot like the serpent in the garden, "Did God really say- " Yet this doesn't seem as cut and dry. In fact, many principles in the Bible aren't as cut and dry as most fundamentalist Christians believe. God says "Thou shalt not kill", but in other places initiates war. I hold to the passage of Ecclesiastes that speaks of "a time for everything." I think there is a time for sex for sex's sake and a time for monogomous commitment. It's not quite like it was thousands of years ago before we had condoms and birth control pills. If a person is sexually responsible, why shouldn't they do it?
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If a person is responsible and safe, I don't feel like there's any reason why they shouldn't have sex. I definitely don't think its immoral to have sex outside of marriage. Some people never find someone they want to marry. Other people commit themselves to one person, but never marry them.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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Well, we Christians aren't really supposed to get divorced either. So, really, if you don't explore your options before getting married, you could just be stuck with a life time of bad sex.
Seriously, though, I don't find anything immoral about premarital sex. Just be responsible about it. :-)
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The bible and religion has never been and will never be cut and dry. The bible preachs "thou shall not kill" but what does Daivd one of bible heros do? He kills Goliath. Think about the great bible kinds like Solomon. In the bible it said he had hundreds of wives, and even more concubines. If he was sleeping with his concubines, isnt that sex outside of marriage?
If both people are responcible, then sex outside marriage is not something that we should be condemned for. In our common time, we consiter it best to wait for marriage. We look down on people who are married by 18 or even 20. So if we're waiting long for marriage, thats a long time to wait for sex.
As humans we are sexual creatures. To deny that would be lying. People need an outlet of all they desire rots them. Why do you thing there has been so many problems with our priests. We have to remember their only human. Living chaste lives, expecially in our society, is not healthy for many.
So dont feel bad. I doubt you'll feel gods rath for following you heart.
Sex before marriage, willingly, was considered adultery. See Deuteronomy 22... it talks about a virgin lying with a man when she's betrothed in the city, and outside the city. The rationale is that if she's in the city, she should have cried out, and since she didn't, she's a willing participant.
Of course, this isn't exactly like what you're talking about, I just wanted to throw it out there, especially since I just read it.
~C
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"Betrothed" is the same thing as engaged, which inherently is adultery, which I covered in my original post.
If you read the passages, you'd also find that if she weren't betrothed, she would have to marry the man she had sex with.
But thanks for the definition...
~C
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Everywhere in the Bible that the word "fornication" is used it is referring to sex outside of marriage that isn't specifically adultery. So, there's plenty in there about it.
Oddly enough, my teenage son and I were discussing this a couple of weeks ago. I told him that God wasn't against pleasure, but he was against anything that would turn into a consuming obsession that pulled us away from him. I also told my son that one of the reasons why God would be against pre-marital sex was that once you've created a memory with such intense emotional ties it's nearly impossible to erase it, so in the end there's going to be times when you'll be with your wife but be remembering the time you were with "Betty". According to several passages in The Bible this constitues adultery.
There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home.--Nikki Sixx
I believe it is fine for other people to do as they please. But my own personal belief is it should be someone special that you care about and love. This is just what my mother taught me...
Of course it does not always work out that way, but for me sex is only meaningful if you care for the person. For guys it is different alot of the time. Speaking from a women's point of view I would rather limit the numbers..but this is coming from someone who has only been with one person for 3 years.
I would not worry about it though your a guy do what you want to do. waiting until marriage sometimes is overrated and not always possiable. I do not think God will punish you for this anyway. I sometimes believe the bible has flaws about certain things. I question it quite I bit. But I believe in God and that is all that matters. :)
Like I said before do as you please... just be safe! :)
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
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