We lived in a patriarchal; misogyny, and sexist society where women are view as properties and her purity is consider a high bid for marriage.
The patriarchal society all over the world deals with the sexuality of women though various mean.
Women are often the victims when it comes to dealing with sex, incest, rape, while the men get little to no focus on their own sexuality.
Societies tend to blame women for their failure to protect them from the sexual deviant men and yet women are the one taught to control their sexuality while men get "congratulation” for premarital sex.
Lets break this down into more simple facts and countries.
The United States:
1. Abstinence only being taught in the classrooms
2. Pornography and the over sexualization of women in various men and women magazine
3. Tolerance of incest and rape in parts of society i.e. such as marrying off young girls to older men to protect her from teenage pregnancy (ex. FLDS – polygamy)
4. Blaming the victim – women are the one who get blame for their own rape if they engage in certain behaviors like drinking alcohol at a party or walking down a dark alley
5. Shaming women into continuing their pregnancy if they decided to terminate their fetus by various methods like forcing ultrasounds and giving false information
6. Denying financial assistance to women who had children out of wedlock’s because they are choose to engage in premarital sin thus making them a whore
7. A women sexuality only exist with her husband and if she engage in premarital sex she is consider a whore
8. Defunding Planned Parenthood or courses that offer comprehensive sex education that include various birth control methods because it will encourage sex among the girls
9. Purity balls
The Africa’s
1. Female Gentile Mutation – where young teenage African women clitoris are cut off to prevent adultery because women are by nature adulterers and also a coming of age thing for young girls
2. Breast ironing – where young girls breasts tissue are scorch with hot iron or stone to prevent the developing of breast as a mean of preventing teenage pregnancy and rape
3. Young girls being married off to much older men
4. African men who practice polygamy
5. Abstinence only (supported by Bush) being taught in the classroom where the school receive American aids
The Asia’s
1. The practice of polygamy
2. Sex trafficking for underage girls
Latin America
1. Latin women are taught to be good catholic by popping out babies year after year
2. Being taught that contraceptive is morally wrong
3. Prostitution
If you had any more information, please add on.
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While I agree that women were treated horribly (and in many places still are), I feel you have been a little one-sided when it comes to saying that only women's sexuality was controlled. Certainly in areas that had heavy Jewish/Christian, almost all sexuality was largely controlled both for males and females, not to mention that these people felt it mandatory to hack off parts of small boys genitals (Why humanity every put trust in people with such an obsession I will never know).
Also, I don't know what part of the US but:
1. I wasn't taught Abstinence only in my school, and also, abstinence only isn't a suppression of female sexuality, it is a suppression of sexuality in general.
2. You have clearly never seen Gay porn, in which case men are the only way being used as sexual objects.
3. Very few people who know about FLDS agree with it or encourage it in anyway.
4.The primary problem with rape is that so many people have strong emotional feelings about it, so much so that they don't stop to examine the actual issue. That is to say that upon hearing that someone is raped they instantly make up their minds about if the person was a victim or perpetrator. Simply saying the word rape has people running to a side to defend.
5. Only sometimes ... and I can tell you from experience that when a child is born out of wedlock the father does receive a lot of animosity (On a side note, YEAH! My little guy will be three months old very soon).
6. Have you ever even heard of planned parenting? WIC? There are a lot of organizations out there that support unmarried mothers.
7. I think having premarital sex is part of the definition of a whore. But that aside, are you sure that we are talking about the same US? In the one that I live in, even in this tiny mainly Christian community, sex is a norm ... especially in college.
8. Again, maybe in parts, but that is rapidly changing.
9. ?
As for the other countries, having never lived in them, I will refrain from commenting.
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Having pre-marital sex doesn't make a girl a whore. Abstinence programs put almost all the pressure on girls to keeps themselves and guys abstinent. They teach girls that guys can't control themselves and girls need to be the ones to say no. Which brings me to what you said about rape, which I don't quite get. Rape is always wrong so I don't understand what you mean by "taking a side". Girls who are raped are very often not taken seriously. If a girl was drinking, wearing a skirt, isn't a virgin, was out late by herself, etc she gets blamed because she "should have known better". It doesn't matter what happened, she shouldn't have been raped.
And if you don't know what Purity Balls are follow the link below.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
Purity Balls: For the Rich, White, Christian and (Slightly) Perverted
I don't agree that premarital sex is part of the definition of a whore. Women can be quite promiscuous after marriage, too.
Find out everything you need to know about poop here:
http://progressiveu.org/000701-everything-you-need-know-about-poop
Aninc seems to have gotten it pretty well. Yes, women are subjected to some horrible things in the world and even the United States, but you went a little overboard there. For one thing, abstinence is the only 100% guaranteed way to prevent unwanted pregnancy- so, it helps prevent teenage girls from being forced to choose between abortion or adoption, a career or motherhood, etc.
I do agree that the media and our society take advantage of women in that only the hottest, sexiest people appear in movies or on television. Pornography is degrading to women. As a male, I do everything I can to respect women.
Incest and rape are, of course, totally illegal, meaning that our society as a whole recognizes that they are wrong, and so are quite opposed to them. The FLDS is a sad, and rare, exception.
Abortion is a sticky topic, I'll save that for another post. I will, however, say that allowing women to actually see their baby before having an abortion is a great idea. How can you make such a huge decision without even knowing what you're ending?
And about all those other areas you named- there are severe human rights abuses directed at women in many foreign countries. I am the president of my school's Amnesty International human rights organization, and women's rights across the globe are one of the things we try to fight for everyday.
There's a difference between going on an Internet diatribe about something, and actually going out into the world to try to change it.
Incest, rape, and intimate partner violence are all too common in the United States and women are almost always the victims. I find it interesting that its guys responding to this post trying to convince the girls that they're overreacting. There are victims of rape, intimate partner violence, and child abuse who post on this site, so it's hard to fake like it doesn't happen or its not a big deal.
Forced ultrasounds for women wanting to get abortions is sickening. What the heck do you mean when you say they need to know what they're ending? Any women who's pregnant knows what they're ending, that's why they're getting an abortion.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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I think it's just an added expense for the clinic as well. On the flip side, anyone that has an ultrasound early in the pregnancy (when the majority of the abortions are done) can see that the embryo does not look much like a human at all. If anything, i think this can help some women to feel more confident in their decision.
Find out everything you need to know about poop here:
http://progressiveu.org/000701-everything-you-need-know-about-poop
I, for one, feel like you painted an accurate picture. No matter which way you look at it women aren't being allowed to be in charge of their own sexuality. Porn makes it fake, abstinence programs suppresses it, rape and incest steals it away, and Purity Balls give it to girls' fathers to own.
I was wondering if you read Feministing, because they recently mentioned a lot of the topics you wrote about. I just feel like you could have been a little more articulate on your post. I would have liked to here just about the issues of one of the countries discussed in depth.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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Yeah, i do read feministing.
I think that they had really good topic about how women are often victimize by patriarchy.
First off, having premarital sex, especially with several people, makes you a whore. The real question is why does any one have a problem with that? It's an archaic (but funny sounding) word that has little meaning in todays society.
Now I forced to ask, are we living in the same world? I have found very few people who will respond to a girl saying she was raped the way you say. But that is my point exactly, people simply accept a certain response when someone says that they are raped, rather than actually considering anything about the situation.
Further more Esuffern, while it is try that rape, incest, and violence are all too common, this is mainly because if it happens at all then it happens to much. My point was that it is not as rampant as the author of this post proposed. Women have control over their sexuality excluding some unfortunate exceptions.
And again, if you think that women are exploited in porn, you should watch more porn. Men are forced into a very negative stereotype as well. But that doesn't matter as they all make the choice to be a part of pornography.
Finally I am deeply insulted, Esuffern, that you would propose that the reason that I made those comments was that I was male.
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First off, please use the reply button.
Second, yes, I think we are living in two separate worlds. You live in a world where the word "whore" no longer carries meaning, negative or otherwise.
The perception that a rape victim "was asking for it" by her dress or behavior is quite pervasive. The link below leads to a article about a girl who was drugged and raped and then taken by her friends to a local hospital. The hospital refused to issue a rape kit to her because she appeared "intoxicated". When her friends called the police, the police also refused to issue a rape kit because the girl appeared drunk. Apparently they think drunk girls can't get raped, but if they had issued the kit they would have seen she had been drugged.
http://media.www.gwhatchet.com/media/storage/paper332/news/2007/10/04/Ne...
But victim-blaming is much more common in court proceedings, like the Kobe Bryant case and the Duke lacrosse team case. Both defense teams called the girls sluts, said that it was consensual, that they had asked for it. Victim-blaming also happens in the press, like this article (linked below)
http://www.nypost.com/seven/11132006/news/regionalnews/how_rape_put_trag...
This article accused this woman of causing her alleged rapist to commit suicide by telling the police that he had raped her. The tone of the article is overwhelmingly negative toward the rape victim.
I'd say victim-blaming happens quite often. But if you'd like to say that it doesn't happen that often, I'll say "if it happens at all it happens too much".
So yes, I'd say we live in different worlds, and that your living in a little world called "Denial". You do make all those comments because you're a man, I'd say that's irrefutable.
Oh, and I don't like porn. Period.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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... So just so that we are clear, you in no way find it sexist that you believe that my oppinions on women and rape are influence by the fact that I am a man ...
Moving on ...
Whore is a word. A random set of sounds that some ancient people decided reminded them of the girl who slept with everyone. How you take the word is depedend on you ... The real question is, do you really care if a bunch of people have decided that your private actions are inapropriate for them (I mean being a whore ... and the you does not imply that you are a whore, it was a generic you)? We veiw it as shameful that a girl will sleep with several guys and I don't understand why. What anyone does in their own sex life is there business. Now if we would all take up this philosophy then words like whore would have little meaning or hurting power.
Moving on ... you do realize that you in no way refuted my points on rape ... I mean, you ignored them completely ... In fact I only mention it now because you seemed to be very emotional about it and acted as if you had said something important ... You didn't.
So let's try again. My argument was that these things are not as rampent as some would have you believe ... You gave me three cases in which you would argue in which victim blaming happened ... Three ... Three! That doesn't support anything. In order to show I am wrong, you need to provide numbers such as the occurances in a year or the precentage of reported rapes in which the victim was blames, or some real number ...
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Ok first off, I won't even touch the Kobe case....but the only "victims" in the Duke lacrosse case were the three men FALSeLY ACCUSED OF RAPE....
The woman who FALSELY ACCUSED THEM OF RAPE was indeed an escort, or, in general terms, "a slut". She had the dna of 9 men in her vagina, pubic hair and anus, none of whom were her "boyfriend" at the time. Before the Duke party, she had been performing at a hotel for a couple where she had inserted a vibrator into her vagina. No one forced her to do that, or the jobs she chose to do in general.
You can sit there and scream that "society forced her to be a stripper/escort/prostitute so she can raise her family and go to school", but that's just totally false. My mother worked at Chicken Delight and Woolworths after her dad died, didn't go to college, and started her own business and is now an independent contractor. While she faced some devastatingly hard financial times (she couldn't go to college), she survived without whoring herself out. So this act of sex for "necessity" is total BS.
While I'm not big on labeling people who choose to have sex anything, because I've had premarital sex and with more than one guy, a woman like that is a slut. She sells her body and her sex for money. That's gross and dangerous on multiple levels.
Get your facts straight before you go screaming about things that have nothing to do with your (rather irrational) feminism "all women are exploited all the time" rant. THose three men (and the entire team) have gone through enough. They don't need to be paired up with the psychotic rants regarding the abuse of women. Thanks.
As a women, i do feel we still haven't gained the rights we deserve. I don't want to elaborate on your post, which I agree and empathize with...instead I want to add this:
In the work force, in a field of all men, an attractive women trying to work along side cannot be taken seriously (or at least has a VERY hard time). It is like women need to uglify themselves and present themselves as less then they are (sort of like a women forced to where a veil and cover her face in the middle east). If an attractive man works a job, nobody will give a second thought to his skill level and talent, but if an attractive professional women works the same job, her being attractive is not an asset, it is like it becomes a liability to her credentials, and she is thought to be less talented and intelligent. What sort of messed up society is this? Do women need to present themselves as lower then they really are in order to hold a place in the workforce? Do we need to be capable but act inferior in order to get by? Are so-called "dumb" women really smart women who have given up on beating the system and so they just use their sexuality to get by? If you ask me, guys are the dumb ones for practically paying a woman to be dumb...they don't know what sort of talent that they are missing out on. Women do not have the freedom and respect that they deserve, sexually and intelligently. They are talked down to, sexually harassed and disrespected. There simply isn't any use denying this.
Had you ever seen cable news? especially Fox News? the majority of the women on cable or regular programming are attractive or beautiful. Many beautiful women are often chosen for a position or job instead of the more plainer but extremely qualitfied women.
I think that being beautiful in todays world, where you will be meeting a lot of people, like politic, public relations, or anything that might involved a camera, tv, or a contact with the public is a good thing.
why do you think that there are so many young attractive women in the news and politic and corporate even if they are not that smart? because they are beautiful. which left plain janes to fend for themselves.
your talking about TV and media jobs where presentation is the main focus, however for scientific and technical jobs, I really do feel that if you are an attractive woman, people stereotype you into the category of someone who may have got the job because of looks, leading them to assume that you are less talented and capable. Men don't have to deal with that. If you want to take care of yourself (but dress and act professional) as a woman, you are judged more, (and negatively, concerning talent) and I don't think that's fair. And the fact you say there are attractive women in corporate, as if the reason those women are in corporate is directly related to looks just sort of elaborates on what I say. Those women worked hard just like anyone else to get where they are,and are just as talented as the men sitting next to them, or they would not be allowed to work those jobs in the long run. But people who just take a glance at them will stereotype and assume they ride by on their looks. (as if the main way for a woman to climb up the ladder is to use her looks) While as a women, I want to feel attractive, in the workforce, I want to be good at what I do and I work extremely hard.
It is not fair to look at a group of professionals, point out the attractive and successful woman, and assume she is where she is because she looks good. Maybe it is the other way around: being so talented and successful at her profession allowed her to spend money on herself and now she looks great! Or maybe, she was given no other choice at first because of the sexist nature of things, and had to use her looks so that she could have the opportunity to show her talent. A woman's attractiveness shouldn't be a liability to her credentials, woman deserve more respect then that. And right now, that seems to be the case.
And Naturally, men are never selected for their looks either ... I mean, look at all those homely male models.
Stop thinking that only women are chosen for their looks. Stop thinking that is the only reason women are chosen. Stop blaming media organizations because they realized that more people would watch their show if they put beautiful people on the air. And stop obsessing over what women look like.
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