Feminist Moment

I want to have a rabid, bra-burning, Lavender Menace Feminist Moment. Right now, Right here, Get the kerosene ready and the kindling out.

Let me preface with what brought this on.
I have a weight and a strength problem; too much of one and not enough of the other. So when my family walked into Academy, I went off to go look at those wrist and ankle weights that strap on.
Oh-my-living-daylights, they were expensive, so to quell my hysterical wallet, I went to look at light barbells to see if they were worth considering. I grabbed two 5 lb. weights and went off to locate my parents. My mom expressed concern that 10 lb. was too much weight to start out with (I might mention here that Dad didn't think that until Mom said it) because I would get muscles instead of lose weight.
I added that I wouldn't mind being stronger and she returns with "you should use less weight because you're a girl".
At this point I was thrown off a little bit, but I wasn't angry, because it was unusual for my mother to back up anything with 'because you're a girl'.
Then I showed them the exorbitant ankle and wrist weights and tried to explain that the barbells were cheaper. (This argument is a good one with Dad :) ) There were some of the weight brands that went higher (weightier), but most were 5 lbs (together) or below), so I was hinting towards the adjustable set that builds up to ten pounds. At some point in the conversation, pointing to a 5lb pair, my mother says "You should buy these because they have pictures of women on them.".
The only responses I could think of at the time included deletion-encouraged expletives, so I covered with "forget it, never mind" and put the barbells back that I had been carrying around the whole time.

Now, you have to know where my mom was coming from. She’s afraid that I’m a man-hating lesbian (neither part true) and that I’ll never have grandchildren (an extremely valid fear) and that I’ll never get married (right now, I hope not) and live a miserable life. (*sigh*) I love my mother, but because she has a wonderful marriage and likes children now, she thinks that I will too, if she pushes it enough.
However, throwing back to the fifties and saying I should buy something because it has pictures of women on it …
I’m floored. I’m speechless, I’m shocked, vehement, and I feel betrayed. My own mother, the most fervent supporter of equality I know, telling me that I should buy weights that weigh less because I’m a girl, therefore implying that obviously women cannot be as strong as men. If I try to express my feelings further, I fear it shall devolve into a session of making the air blue.

I think that the important thing to draw from this is that we need to be careful to monitor what we are enforcing, especially to children, even with small comments. I think that a lot of the time, we forget and tell a joke or make a comment that reinforces stereotypes or dehumanizes others without realizing what’s going on.
How many romantic comedies feature a gay couple as the main characters rather than as comic relief? Why would that situation be terribly awkward for many people?
Because mainstream America doesn’t relate to gays as they would a straight couple. They have carefully made gays and lesbians a separate group from themselves. They are ‘others’. Personally, I think that a movie like this should be made. (There is a romance that I know of between two lesbians, but it was sad. My Summer of Love.) Instead, we’re getting a movie called “Satan’s Abby” which I secretly and fervently hope crashes and burns so hard as to end in severe debt for all,( yes even McGuire). I’m not sure yet, but I think I might protest its being at any theatre in our town. (Oh and btw, Kudos to Hallmark for producing Gay Marriage Congrats cards. They have done a very progressive thing.)
Carlos Mencia (Yes, yes, I know. I’m bringing who into this argument?) says that if he can’t tell a joke in front the people it makes fun of, then he doesn’t tell it at all. Most of his jokes show how silly stereotypes are anyway. Though he shies away from going any further, he still could be making a difference, and I like that.
But back to the point. If we would accept each other and help each other overcome that urge to conform, to push others out of our little worlds, to make them less than human and not worthy of respect, If we would instead, seek others to bring into our worlds, I think that we would grow as a society through being exposed to a multitude of different opinions. I’m sure that our foreign policy would benefit.

On the other hand, we also have to be careful about what we accept. Honestly, I just don’t think any kind of intolerance should be accepted because it’s against the central tenant, the spirit, of the idea of acceptance. We can’t pat a raving racist on the head and say “oh, that’s just his opinion”. We need to stand up to them and say what is unacceptable when we see it, or try to understand where that person is coming from and judge if, indeed, it some twisted way, the opinion has sense (such as an anarchist in America, which I have never understood.) or doesn’t.

The problem lies in that acceptability is determined by morality, which is a highly variable code to go by. But perhaps if enough of us spurn intolerance, it will retreat into isolated pockets and no longer plague many people who are simply unique. They will have much to share us when they are without fear of hateful backlash.