I like to watch people, watch and listen to them and laugh at them if need be.
This weekend there was a lot of alcohol consumption every where. I went to a club or two; I went out to a restaurant, and back to my hotel room. Every body was drinking and enjoying the weekend off from school. There were plenty of people available to my eyes for ogling and giggling. When alcohol is involved your guaranteed to see silly things like one handed beer stands off a keg and the wall, people that have drank way past their limits trying not to vomit or stumbling to the latrines, boys trying to fight over dumb stuff, karaoke singers who should not and all sorts of other alcohol related hilarity. Generally, people were letting loose and having a good time.
What I want to talk about is what I saw while I was relaxing that caused me to be a little judgmental and confused and eventually changed the way I think. There were many people dressed immodestly according to the hundred ten temperatures, which is to be expected, but more specifically there were thick people dressed is small skirts or shorts and tight tank tops revealing their cellulite and chubby rolls. I was thinking to myself how can they dress like that? What has happened to modesty and leaving things for the imagination? All the while I was wishing I could get away with it too.
Then I wondered WHY I could not dress like that, I am not as big as some of those girls, I can wear snug clothes and non-Capri shorts, I can wear tank tops without revealing as much as ‘rap girls’ do, so why don’t I?
As it turns out I am highly judgmental, have high standards and am over observant of myself. I can push myself to learn crazy things; I can raise the bar and write many words into a short novel; I can accomplish difficult tasks easily except for looking good in the clothes that I like. I can never loose enough weight and keep it off long enough for me to dress more then slightly feminine.
Today I went shopping to get the clothes that I want and deserve. I wanted to not be so boxy. I tried on over thirty articles of clothes and none of it looked nice on me, none of it fit or was for my shape, nothing was acceptable to my altered ideals of what I should dress like. I ended up buying one tank top knit shirt in an awesome turquoise color because I liked it even though it made me uncomfortable. I told my hubby and he said I probably looked good in the clothes and I thought to myself ‘drats pesky body confidence issues’ and sighed wondering if I am just crazy or if everyone else is.
All of this comes down to my new plan to see if I can get my body to be like how I want it aside from societal ‘skinny’ standards. I know that due to my large hind quarters I will never be able to wear small skirts but I can get back into my weight standards and be less giggly. I fear more then I should a lot of things including eating disorders. I already practically binge eat so I will have to trade that habit for my traditional nutrition beliefs. I like fresh veggies and fruit so I will have to lay off the fast food for good food. I will also have to quit making excuses as to why I am to busy to go to the gym or exercise. I have to start some cardio routine and toning drills.
I like it so much better when I can point the finger at others instead of myself. This is judgment of mine showed me that the fault really lies within me and that I need to make the change and become a full, happy, confident person again.
Good luck with the healthier eating! I know when I'm lazy I go to Culver's or Wendy's so sometimes i just make a ton of food and freeze it as single servings so I can just microwave healthy meals in less than 4 minutes. I can be lazy and healthy and it works and saves me money.
I also just bought a really nice bike on craigslist and I'm looking forward to some fun, scenic exercise once it's done with its tune up on Wednesday. There are so many bike trails here through the parks and they are all gorgeous!
I also love going to Curves for exercise. It's all women, all shapes and sizes, and it doesn't feel like everyone's judging you like it sometimes does at a gym.
As far as clothing goes, just do what I do and wear cute dresses. Short sleeves, breezy, and cool. They hug all the right places without showing off too much. They are sexy and conservative all at the same time! :-)
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Don Williams, Jr.
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For the longest time I have been morally opposed to wearing Dresses (and pink) because my mom always said that was what ladies wore as if dresses made the person. Lately I have been considering such feminine attire. I usually steer clear of them because they are never long enough in the back and long dresses that don’t go all the way down make me look dowdy. Looks like I am going to have to break free:)
I can't wait till I get home and am able to take advantage of our bikes that we scored for free and the less searing heat. I am lucky enough to have a free fully equipped gym but I always end up not going because I have to do this or that. I am so full of myself that I feel I, not my hubby, have to do things.
Basically, I have to quit stuffing my face for the joy of food and stop making weak excuses to stay on my duff.
Thanks for the ideas and I just might shop for some clothes again later.
~T
A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. ~Benjamin Franklin
Everyone has body issues. I mean, none of us are completely happy with the way we look, but we just have to learn to accept it or do what we need to change it. I guess I'm considered skinny (though I don't think that of myself)- I'm 5'8" and weigh 130lbs but I still have issues like cellulite and stretch marks and things most people wouldn't think I would have to deal with. Summer's especially hard, too, with the whole bikini thing and whatnot. But all of us truly are beautiful in our own way, and if we don't acknowledge that who will?
I am not that tall and wish I could get down that low but my type wont allow it. The lowest I ever weighted as a grown person was 137 and I am a hair shy of five seven. Even so we are all beautiful so long as we are who we need to be and have confidence in our selves.
Thanks
~T
A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. ~Benjamin Franklin
I actually am not judgemental but I agree with the you should not wear that. While waiting for rides I see people who are 400 plus lbs in short shorts and tanks that don't fit them. I have also seen woman showing off their stomach when their stomachs are about 100lbs. This is what gets me....
I have had body issues all of my life. I also had a nice eating disorder (anorexia) to go with it. I still have mirror issues but not the anorexia. I am on birthcontrol because of my cycles being screwed up and this makes it very very hard to lose weight. I want to lose 40 lbs but I am finding it hard not to go back to my eating disorder.
Stay confidant you could be like me and hate even living each day the way I look. You can do it it just takes alot of mental and physical work. I am currently working on it and have been for the past year. Keep your head held high, if you mess up pick yourself back up and keep trying no matter what.
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Thank you so much for the encouragement. Your input is always valued.
~T
A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. ~Benjamin Franklin
Don't think of exercising (or eating habits) as a chore, otherwise it will become one and you'll hate doing it.
If you have cable or satellite TV, see if you have On Demand channels, especially FitTV. If you don't, check out YouTube and Google videos for videos of different exercise stuff. There's a lot of stuff on both that are a lot of fun to do -- belly dancing, and strip tease stuff, for example -- and a lot of it is geared to both burn fat and tone muscle. If you want to do walks/runs, invest in an MP3 player, otherwise you'll get bored really quick. If it's fun, you'll be more likely to do it.
As for diet, unless you're the type that needs and enjoys having strict regimens, don't try to do the "I can only eat these kinds of foods." What I've found works better is simply keeping track of what and how much food you eat to get the nutrients you need. It makes you think about what's in different food items and how much you're actually eating. Basically, give yourself goal limits and try to keep them, the food will come with it (I personally love One Touch's website because it has a rather extensive database and calculates the amounts you take in automatically, it also has both diet and fitness stuff to keep track of everything).
As for shopping, take your husband along with you. I've gotten some really cute outfits that look good on me because the guy(s) in my life picked them out. It also gives you an outside perspective from someone who pays special attention to you on a regular basis.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
That is an excellent idea about using TV and internet to my advantage. I can not wait to get home to check out what else I have available.
I think my biggest food problem is over doing the tasty foods. For example I really like Subway and yesterday I got a foot long with the works plus spinach easy mayo and so on. I also got two cookies. I ate it all because I really like it. Then I was offered some homemade jambalaya less then an hour later, and who can pass that up...I ate two bowls because it was so good. I think my problem is not eating bad things; my problem is eating all of everything because I like it. I have to pay attention to be sure to order the smaller portions because that’s all I NEED not because I want as much as possible, and to say no to more when I am no longer hungry.
Thank you for the cool tips.
~T
A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. ~Benjamin Franklin
There is a simple online "diet tool" that I use called Fit Day. You can find it at www.fitday.com. You'll see a way to keep track of your nutrition, not just calories and fat, as well as progression in exercise, and plenty of charts! It is kinda fun to use. There is no real community base, but it is a good tool. You can use us for your support group!
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You can't ignore me, for I'll not lie down quietly.
http://insanitek.net
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So, it's perfectly ok for thin people to show skin (because it's hot), but not ok for 'thicker' people to show skin, because they're showing off their fat as well? That is so hypocritical.
I finished reading a book the other day about a girl at fat camp, and towards the end, she makes a comment about how she saw a woman in a bar with jeans that were slightly too tight... she had a tummy bulge as a result. But, she said that this woman looked good, despite the faux pas. She had confidence that really drew attention away from the clothes she was wearing to her personality and the good parts of her body.
As far as your dieting goes, try to eat slower. You'll feel fuller faster, and thus won't tend to eat as much. Remember, you can always eat your food at a later time. Also, get someone else to go with you when you go shopping, whether it be a good girlfriend or your hubby. They'll be able to tell what looks good on you much more than you will be able to, because you'll concentrate on your defaults in an outfit, and not whether it looks good or not. They'll encourage you to break out of the mold a little, and that should help with your self confidence, which in turn will make you more attractive to the world at large.
~C
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Oh. My. Goodness. I can not beieve that I said that. I new as soon as I saw the quoting that I wrote a terrible thing. I do not think its okay for anybody to dress in way to revealing clothes. I meant to say that, basically, It was hot and people were dressed for the weather both thin and thick... I notice that when I rest my hands on my lap top my palms touch the 'touch mouse' and mix things up.
I will go back to fix it here in a minute. Thanks and I swear I am not crazy
~T
A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. ~Benjamin Franklin
I forgive you then. The rest of my comment still stands, and I hope it helps some :)
~C
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Oh absolutely. As a matter a fact I just did not finish my awesome Mexican food and brought the rest home for tomorrow’s lunch.
You all are a great help.
~T
A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. ~Benjamin Franklin
I am definitely not skinny, and I have had my fair share of weight obsessions, but sometimes I like to dress skanky if its an appropriate setting (outdoor recreation for spaghetti straps or a mini skirt for a party) just because it reminds me that I can look good in those things if I would only have the confidence to do so. Overall, I don't have the best body but I like certain features and I like to elaborate those, just not all at once. Because thats when it gets really skanky. I think its important to dress confidently because it keeps weight loss in a Positive Mental Attitude, making it more attainable.
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I wouldn't call a spaghetti-strap shirt or miniskirt skanky. I agree that showing everything all at once might not be such a good idea, but there's nothing wrong with rockin' the miniskirt. :)
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I'd hug you, if I could. I've been having much of the same thoughts lately. My goal: be healthy. Not skinny, but healthy.
Luck isn't enough, in some cases. You have many people's support, mine included.
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You can't ignore me, for I'll not lie down quietly.
http://insanitek.net
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Thank you.
I feel so encouraged by all of you... So Far so good.
~T
A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. ~Benjamin Franklin
Another thing that might help if you're having trouble with fit is having your clothes altered after you buy them. If something just isn't fitting right around the hips or waist, try on the next size up and pinch the fabric together at the seams until it is snug but not too tight. If it looks good, buy them and get them altered. If not, try another style or fit. It's usually under $20, and it's worth it to have clothes that fit perfectly.
Also, try looking at magazines or articles with "fashions for every size" type features. These can give you a better idea of what will help accentuate the good and hide the bad, and show women of all shapes and sizes that look great. Seeing someone else with the same shape wear something that you wouldn't have though would look good can help boost your confidence.
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I read this blog a while back, and it inspired to me to write my blog "What's your eating disorder?"
Now that I know more about you in context, I can come back and say, it's not about dieting and fitness tricks and advice.
For myself, I know how to be healthy, and I don't do what I need to do. I don't do this because it requires too much consciousness around my body, and my body is my least favorite part of myself. I'd much rather sit all day long blogging on ProU and doing my homework at work and during my baby's naps, etc.
Shifting from disease (a dis-ease with the body) to health demands constant attention to every physical sensation the brain is trying to communicate to me that I work very hard to ignore.
As a busy and intellectually active person, a wife who makes communicating with my husband a priority, and a mother of a 2.5 year old, I don't have much energy to expend on planning, changing my routine, jumping from one activity to the next, making a daily schedule in one hour increments, etc.
I know how to be healthy and I choose not to be. I suffer the consequence, feeling awkward in plastic fantastic OC, feeling too big for clothes that used to fit me, feeling unattractive and frumpish, knowing my husband is waiting for me to get off my ass and care about my body again.
I am OK with all of that right now. I definitely know my limits and life patterns, I have a cut off point I can't go beyond. i also know that my life has cycles, and i have lived the extreme of every aspect of myself. I have a tendency to get overinvolved in things (like ProU) at the expense of other things (like taking the time to balance my budget). I know myself and my nature.
Life has its way of slapping me in the face and telling me to wake up just in time. I know I won't become morbidly obese. I know that I can be a" perfect 10" if I choose to. I am not feeling sorry for myself. I am waiting for the next great impetus in my life that will launch me into total balance where I am able to pay equal respect and attention to all aspects of myself, including my body, which I primarily think of as a boundary between myself and the infinite at the moment, and don't care much for.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude