About a year back I went to the new Gateway mall in Salt Lake City, Utah. It is an outdoor mall in Downtown Salt Lake, don't ask me why Utah of all places has an outdoor mall, considering it snows here. But anyway back to the topic. The mall is near a few clubs, studio apartments that are overly priced, and the homeless shelter. As I was walking back to my car after shopping a homeless woman approached me asking me for money so she could go into rehab. At first glance I saw this toothless, weathered lady who looked like she may have been 65, but was probably in her mid forties. Of course the aging was because of previous drug use, which may or may not have still been occuring. When she asked me this I thought, "Oh this lady could use some help."
I remembered recent converstations with various friends about some people who dress up in tattered clothing going around on street corners asking for a hand up and don't forget the money. I thought to myself maybe she was one of these people, but by the look of her skin and teeth I knew she was not. I knew she had had a hard life, but I am not the type of person to just trust someone when they're asking for money. I feel like you need to work for what you want. Since I previously thought this woman may still be using drugs there was no way I was going to give her money. Instead I asked her if she wanted something to eat instead. Of course she said yes.
There was a Rumbi Island Grill right behind me so I went in and ordered her some food. I invited her in with me, but she refused, she said she could wait outside for me because "they don't like her inside the resturant."
After gathering about fifteen dollars worth of food I walked out of the resturant and the woman came up to me thanking me. I said that she was welcome and went on my marry way.
About a week later I was talking to my friend who happened to work at Rumbi Island Grill. I told her what I did and how good it made me feel. She told me that she knew the woman I was talking about, and that she greets a lot of people at the Mall asking them for money and food. And then I thought about the statement the homeless woman said when I invited her into the resturant with me, "they don't like me inside the resturant."
I felt so used.
There are so many ways you can help homeless people besides giving them money or buying them expensive meals. You can donate to the homeless shelter, and the food bank. You never know who has already gotten a hand up that day, or who may be using you. Some people are so lazy. I work hard for what I have, I don't even give my friends money, and I don't understand why I helped that woman.
From now on I am sticking to strickly volunteer work. It is my time, but not too much money.
My tip of advice is becareful for who you're giving a hand out to. Who knows, maybe they've already made thousands that week in cash, and had every meal paid for by complete strangers.
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Maybe I just do not get it but why is it bad that ahomeless woman got an expensive meal for free. She learned that she gets better food being there then by a McDonald's. I understand you feel used but that particular woman was still homless for her obvious defects and need something to eat. Your the one who got the expensive meal instead of a sandwich from the gas station a block away. Imagine how you would feel having given her your last dollar and a half then watched her drive away in a corvette type. That actuall happened new the beach in San Diego...Even the bums there are high class;)
New meaning to beach bum huh
~Me
all truths are easy to understand once discovered; the point is to discover them ~galileo
There is not a gas station all that near the Gateway. However the homeless shelter, that gives food out, is right next door. I understand that she got a free meal, and if she olny asked once in a while or was looking for a job It would be more understanding. But according to my friend who worked at the resturant five days a week she said that she was there a lot and they had to call the cops on her a lot because she wouldn't stop bothering the shoppers.
The homeless shelter helps people who really want it. They usually do not charge too much, they can set up jobs for them, and even eventually find them a place they can afford to live in.
I honestly think that this woman was in search of money for her next drug binge.
Not to be heartless because I am not, but I gues it is just a have to be there kind of thing. There really are some homeless people that you can tell are honest, but this woman was not.
No, you're completely right. First of all, if you do volunteer work, you don't owe her anything.
I think that most homeless people deserve their life. Seriously, people don't want to seem heartless so they refuse to believe that, but it's true. It's not hard to get a job, or to rent an apartment. There is a group of homeless people who live in my town in the woods, and all they do is drink. They ask people for money and use it to buy alcohol. Recently, two of the men killed each other because they were both drunk. My dad is a construction worker, and one day, he went up to some of those people and asked them if they needed a job, and they said they didn't want one. Something tells me the majority of these homeless people are like that, because honestly, it ISN'T hard to get a job, and if they aren't disabled, I don't see why they should be homeless. (And believe me, if they are disabled, they can get plenty of money from social security.)
You're much better devoting your time to other things, ESPECIALLY if you consider yourself to be compassionate. Maybe you could help people at a battered women's shelter, for example. Now those people really don't have a choice.
I always wonder were these people's famlies are. I know that when my parents went broke and we ate dry sandwiches for thanksgiving one year we had family that let us stay with them until we got back on our feet.
As for jobs being easy to get...not always. Even if a Mcdonald's manager was progressive enough to hire a homless person. That person might not be able to afford anything like rent and would still be dirty and smelly at work.
Plus I know some homeless people who are so against tgovernment institutions and wasting tax money that they are not contributing too that they refuse to get SSI help or whatever. Their pride gets in the way. Just like seeing veterans out there on the streets, sometimes I think why do they just not go to the VA but hey their choice I guess.
Alcoholism is a great thing (in a bad way) to be aflicked with....more on this another day.
It really should be a case by case scenario and try to with hold judgment because some out thee really might not have a choice.
~choosen
all truths are easy to understand once discovered; the point is to discover them ~galileo