DISCLAIMER: This topic has to do with sex.
About two and a half years ago, I had the radio on one day before school, just like I always do. I had it turned on my “favorite” radio station, which was one of the local Top 40s. Usually, I just keep it on for background noise, because I hate silence. The topic of discussion for that that morning, however, was virginity.
Me being me (a nosy little brat, to say the least), I stopped my morning routine to listen for a few moments. The hosts of the show I was listening to were promoting virginity, and saying that virgins were basically better than non-virgins. That really bothered me.
I’m not against people remaining virgins if they so choose. I’m not against people choosing to lose their virginity outside of marriage, either. The problem with virginity is that it’s so loosely defined nowadays, and there’s no set way to define it. Vaginal intercourse is considered the only way to lose one’s virginity, according to a lot of my friends. To those who think that, I’ve brought up in my other entries the fact that not everyone is straight. Not everyone will have intercourse as defined by my friends (my lesbian/gay friends, for example). So, are they permanent virgins?
My own opinion is that everyone should be able to make his or her own choice on what constitutes the loss of virginity. No one should make that choice for them.
But what if someone else made the choice? What if he or she had sex for the first time, against his or her will? Is he/she still a virgin? Science says no, most people say no. Some people say that they are, if they choose to identify themselves as such. But some people don’t see it that way. Personally, I think that rape victims who lost their virginity because of the assault should be allowed to call themselves virgins, if they wish. It wasn’t their choice to lose their virginity. But are virgins, who never had sex, “better” than those who were violated?
One thing that definitely annoys me is when teachers make a comment about not having sex before marriage because it’s not a good Christian thing to do. I’m quick to point out that there’s at least one person with differing “religious” beliefs in the audience (that’d be me), and that they have no right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do with my body. The only people who should have that control while I’m younger than 18 are my parents.
I don’t know, I’m just sick of all the virginity hype. Just because a girl hasn’t had a penis stuck in her doesn’t mean she’s better than the girl who has. Just because a boy hasn’t messed around with a girl doesn’t mean he’s a superior to the guy who’s been in almost every girl’s pants.
Like I said, I have nothing against those who want to remain virgins, and I have nothing against those who aren't outside of marriage. I just don't like being told by society that I can't sleep with someone unless I have a ring on my finger and his last name on mine.
:))
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
Well, you know. I didn't want anyone yelling at me for not stating it right away.
:D
No one would get on you for writing about sex. I have no less than 4 times.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
Just being safe. Because my luck someone would be like, "Why didn't this say that it was about sex?"
I think it's more fun to start an argument, quite honestly. If everyone is agreeing, no one is thinking.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
Good point.
i would have been outraged; even to the point of calling the radio station. saying something similar to what you just said here.
that's utter b.s.
thats like when guys say its ok for them to have sex with unending numbers of girls, but if those same girls go and have sex with unending numbers of guys? oh, no thanks. shes a loose slut, not a "playah"
good input.
"to be the worst of any downfall, you have to be unable to get back up."
I'm a virgin, and I think you are precisely right. I would never think superior of myself over a girl who had been sexually assaulted or just any non-virgin around. I've written a blog on why I'm still a virgin haha. (it's not even a good reason.)
Why does this topic always cuase so much drama? I'm a virgin, and I'm proud of it, because I want to save myself for that special someone. I think people who lose their virginity young are impatient brats. There's always going to be the people who rebel, little clap for you, and the people who are abstonant for religious or cultural reasons, clap clap for you. And then there's the people who don't care. These people force themselves to be neutral because they're afraid of what people will say or think of they're opinion. I think, if you have an opinion on this, just say your peace and count to three. Little clap for you.
not all have that choice to wait. take me for example. i was raped at 16. that was my first sexual experience, and not a pleasant one, as you can imagine.
i was not an "impatient brat" as you believe you so cleverly put it. i was put up to it by an impatient brat s.o.b.
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"to be the worst of any downfall, you have to be unable to get back up."
For the most part people are proud of who they are, or aren't.
People in either camp are reluctant to feel better than the other camp (same thing happens with Vegetarians vs. non-vegetarians), except, of course when the reason one is in a camp not by choice, like how you just mentioned (which truly brakes my heart), or when (how should I put this lightly) one is ugly as hell and no girl or guy would ever wanna touch!
"The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Did you know that 70% of girls who have sex before age 16 say they didn't want it?
Yeah, impatient brats.
Define young. I When it comes to losing virginity, 14 is definitely too young. Older than that is probably too young. Or do you just mean younger than is right for the person individually? It was a little vague and I think you need to make your beliefs more clear.
Like what you've read? Well, then here's more:
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711
I think it's really all a matter of personal choice. You make a good point though, because now a days when there are so many sexual choices of things to do other than vaginal sex, what makes a person a virgin anymore? Personally I believe if you are straight then vaginal sex is the only way to really loose your virginity but if you are gay or bi or even just like experimenting with your sexuality it can be any number of things.
A wise man once said "I don't know ask a girl."
*Emily*
First of all, saying that virgins are better people than non-virgins is just immaturity and poor radio. However, I do believe that virginity until you're married (however you may define virginity) is the best choice for everyone. Do I think that people who lose their virginity before marriage are worse than those who wait? Absolutely not. But as a Christian, I do think that the choice to do so is not as good as a choice as abstinence would be. This is based on my own values, convictions, and the Bible. I understand that others differ from this and don't read or rely on the Bible. My point is, that's their choice and they will face the consequences (if any come in this life).
I know I would never remain abstinent for some religious dogma, that's for sure.
Religious dogma? If that's how you want to see it. I don't see myself as "religious" or going through the motions and practicing traditions for the sake of tradition. I have a relationship with God. Along with that commitment comes the choice to stay "pure" for God, because He intended sex to be for marriage.
I understand that many don't agree with my beliefs and I don't want to force you to believe the same as me. I just want to clarify that I don't agree with "religion". It's about spirituality, not religiousness.
I completely agree with you. Everyone has the right to dicide what happens to there body and they have the right to say what it was called. This reminds me of the debate on abortion. Women have to right to choose what happens to there body. If you don't agree with that then no one is going to make you have one. If you get raped and get pregnant, you will probably want an abortion. Or if your a teenager and make the mistake of getting pregnant, everyone deserves to have a second chance.
ahhh virgin? or not? everytime a guy ask a girl that question, its to assess how easy they could be. lets face it, sex is a touchy subject especially with high school and younger crowd. the "adults" in our lives perhaps wisely suggest not to engage in sexual activities, this of course makes the idea all the more inviting. i belive that sex should be something special, and not just a random physical act, i dont however care when or who you do it with, not everyone is sexually active, thats fine, some people are off the charts, whatever, thats there decision. i think it comes down to people trying to tell other people whats wrong or right and attempting their decisions. who cares? if people would just let people mess up on their own, no one would get angry because of unimportant things like virginity.
sorry that was totally a rant, some mutual friends just got into a fight over this and its driving me crazy :)
non ducor DUCO
i wish upon shooting stars
Wow. People actually claiming that virgins are better than non-virgins? That's unheard of in my area. Around here, it's the complete opposite. If you're a virgin, you get put down and trampled upon.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
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The Story of Myself