We live in a very sexually open society. The use of sexuality is everywhere we look. While we don’t preach free sex like they did in the hippie days, it is something we seem to embrace. Men or women, we as a society don’t look down on them as we used too (believe me, as a high schooler them seem more praised than shunned)
So in this sexually saturated society that when we live in, I find myself wondering when is the right time to have sex? Asking this question I bring in mind all factors. How far along in a relationship is the right time? At what age is the right time? What’s too soon?
Here’s one question: what too young? I have a friend that is currently 17 years only. She has a 4 year old son. So at the tender age of 13 she became pregnant. Was that too young? I would think the answer would be yes. But then again in high school, being a virgin isn’t usually something most people proudly admit too. I know wee little freshmen who are more sexually experienced than I ever hope to be. I know parents feel any age is too early for their little babies, what at what age does it generally become okay?
Then there’s the relationship question? Which time is the right time? The first date? The one year anniversary? Let’s say a couple has been dating two months. They care about each other and are genuinely attracted to one other. If they mutually decide to have sex, is that too soon?
Then there is the whole moral issue. I am a Catholic, and have been raised my whole life with the notion that one should wait until after marriage. Personally I don’t see that as a great option. We as a society look down on people who marry young. Most people wait well into their 30’s before they feel their mature enough to marry. Does that mean we should wait until we’re 30 or even 40? What if you never find that one person you want to marry? A whole life of chastity?
So when is the right time?
a right time for sex
By glacier_sky86 - Posted on April 23rd, 2008
if you are waiting for someone who loves you and shows mutual respect and cares about you, it sounds like you are mature enough to know, on your own, when the right time is. Don't do what I did and let peers tell you when the right time is; how do they know?
Love ya,
Carrot
Thanks for the comment. I just wonder sometimes whats acceptable. Im waiting for whenever it feels like the right time. I just wonder what people geneally consiter the 'right time"
I think the "right time" is very individual-specific. Some people want to just "get it over with" and thats okay with them. Other people want to wait until they are in love or they find the right person to share this intimate experience with. What feels right for one person may be completely the opposite from another.
Therefore, I would say there is no right answer. I do believe that you have to follow what your own heart and head are telling you, though, not your partner, society, your peers or even parents.
With this being said...I must also add that the right time should occur when both partners fully understand the consequences of their actions. As a sex educator, I must add that both should fully understand how STDs are transmitted and prevented. A comprehensive sex education program should teach individuals the importance of choosing Abstinence, Be Faithful or Condoms (the ABC's) to prevent both pregnancy and STDs. An individual must choose at least one of these three to remain disease and pregnancy-free.
If anyone has ANY questions about sexual health issues, don't hesitate to ask me! I am here to help!
I believe parents are the key to guiding their children to a safe and productive life. My mom always told me to wait until I was really in love and knew it for a fact. She said be safe and use all the protection required. She waited until marriage but was 19 in her first marriage. It is my belief that someone is not mature enough at 13 or even 16 to make such decisions. But if they do they must know that the women should be on birthcontrol/ or something else and all methods of preventing STDS and becoming pregnant should be known.
My mom limited my dating to movies and public places. I believe this helped me quite a bit. I guess it really depends on the person though. It is my main belief that parents can teach a child good values at a very young age and it will stick with them. Waiting until marriage is a great thing..but in todays world is not likely.
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
Love comments? I do too!