The Rainbow Families annual conference was this weekend. It is a convocation of resources for GLBT families all over the Upper Midwest. There are workshops about legal protection of partners and children, artificial insemination, transgender parenting issues, saving for college, and adoption, just to name a few. I've gone to the prospective parent workshops before, so this year, I decided to do the educator track. What I learned about the school conditions of GLBT youth was upsetting. It hasn't gotten much better in the ridiculously huge number of years since I graduated from high school.
The first session I attended was about transgender issues from preschool through high school. I chose this workshop because of my experiences with The Princess (those who don't know what I'm talking about should read Transgender 5-Year-Old: What's a Feminist Nanny to Do?). Two parents on the panel had children with stories very similar to The Princess' situtation. One parent's child is now 21 and fully transitioned. The other parent has a six-year-old who has legally changed his name to a boy's name and is identified in school as a boy. The school has even made a gender neutral bathroom available to him. When his mom talked about his future, she started sobbing, because she KNOWS he will be beaten and tormented when he gets older.
There was one panelist who told the tale that mom feared and that I worry The Princess will have to face someday. This young man graduated from high school last year. He transitioned in the middle of tenth grade. He was tormented for four years with no help, no protection from the school. He was beaten regularly by classmates and was sexually assaulted more than once. The principal's response? "Well, you weren't technically raped, so what am I supposed to do about it?" The school has video of some of the incidents, but they deny seeing anything "unprovoked." His very existence, according to school officials, warranted beating and sexual assault. His family won't back him, because they are angry that he has "embarrassed" them so.
This poor kid would try not to pee all day, and when he couldn't make it, he skipped class to drive home and go to the bathroom somewhere safe. He couldn't use the women's restroom without some girl's boyfriend beating him up, and going into the men's bathroom was the equivalent of a deathwish.
Stories like this explain some of the research on GLBT youth (although most if the research is actual on G, L, or B youth...transgender youth remain invisible). According to a 2005 study by GLSEN, "37.8% of students experienced physical harassment on the basis of sexual orientation." More than 25% were harassed on the basis of gender expression. Almost 20% were physically assaulted. 92% report hearing peers make derogatory remarks about GLBT people, and 39% report that no one ever intervenes. What is more disturbing is that 37% of GLBT students report hearing STAFF make derogatory comments!
In this climate, it is no wonder that GLBT students skip school more often than their heterosexual classmates. It is no wonder they suffer higher rates of depression and suicide. Who could endure that kind of abuse without some negative effects on the psyche?
But here in Minnesota, I thought smugly, the situation MUST be better. We're a blue state! We have one of the largest GLBT populations in the nation! The stories I heard from other teachers shot that theory down. Despite the fact that the Minnesota Human Rights Act forbids discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace and in educational settings, very few schools have an anti-discrimination policy that matches. In the majority of school districts in Minnesota, GLBT students remain unprotected, and the climate is utterly hostile.
Students who bring incidents of discrimination to the attention of administrators are often treated as if they were the cause of the problem...as if they deserve the bullying they endure. Teachers who advocate on behalf of these students are often harassed themselves. (NOTE: As stated before, trans students remain invisible. There are NO school districts that protect gender identity. Even the Minnesota Human Rights Act omits gender identity).
And still, people protest anti-bullying curriculum that mentions GLBT people. They say it is obscene and that they have the right to teach their children about sex when and as they see fit. If these people could see past their own ignorance and fear long enough to identify with the pain these students and families feel...if they could see the damage in that young trans boy's eyes as he talked about being held down and felt up and beaten in his school...maybe they would understand that it is not about sex at all. And it is NOT obscene. In fact, what could be more decent than letting your children learn to respect the life and well being of their classmates? Is it a waste of time to teach your kid that raping a classmate is wrong?
It starts with little things like name calling in elementary school, and it escalates. THAT is why we have to teach it in elementary school. We have to stop it before it becomes something much worse. I have to do all I can to stop it before The Princess gets to high school. I won't have him hurt.
To learn more about GLBT students, visit:
GLSEN http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/home/index.html
The Safe Schools Coalition http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/safe.html
Groundspark,org (has amazing videos on all kinds of discrimination).
http://www.groundspark.org/
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It always makes me sad to read about things like this. I'd hoped that in this day and age that people would be more open and accepting of peoples' differences. Unfortunately, that just still isn't so.
I honestly cannot fathom how a school, a place where kids are supposed to be able to learn and feel safe, can just sit by as their students are beaten and raped for being different. It's disgusting and shameful. I just pray that if I ever have children, and when I do, that they'll be in the kind of environment that will be willing to keep them safe and nurture them as they grow - not leave them to the violent whims of their classmates.
A really wonderful blog.
The mom of the six-year-old was really lucky to find the school she found. Their family got transferred to a small town because of work, and they just had to go with the neighborhood school. She was sure they would be shocked and unaccommodating, but they were great! Stories like that give me hope.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I dont know what to do. I feel that know one should be treated this way, but in all honesty I don't agree with most of the glbt community either. I will not allow my brothers and sisters and children to be brainwashed into the complete opposite of what we've been taught. I dont want my sister to be encouraged to be a lesbian.
I would however, rain hell on anyone who hurt someone as sweet as you make the princess sound in the afore mentioned blog. I would destroy anyone raping a GLBT individual, I would for anyone really. I will not advocate but I will sure as hell do all in my power to make sure there is no discrimination.
I may not agree with the choice, but a choice it is. God may not have intended GLBT to exist, but since they do I will not allow them to come to harm on my watch. I feel for your pain, I really do, I dont mean to sound bigoted. One of my best friends came out awhile ago and some people rag on him kind of hard, but for the most part the community is accepting, and I'm in a red state.
So let it be known that there are people who, while they dont agree with you, detest what others do to the GLBT community.
I appreciate that you dislike the overt discrimination against the GLBT community, and would try to prevent the rape of any individual (I would hope), even if you "don't agree with us".
However, I need to point out that no one is trying to brainwash anyone. No one is trying to recruit you or your siblings or children to the gay side. Being gay or transgender is not a choice. It just is. (And honestly, I don't think God is the type to make mistakes, being God and all, so I see nothing wrong with being gay or trans.)
That's also not really the point of this blog post. The point is that discrimination shouldn't be happening, period. Teaching children not to tease each other is necessary. It doesn't matter what it's about - skin color, disabilities, gender expression, or sexual orientation - teasing, hurting, and discrimination are wrong. Teaching that something is wrong does not teach *it.* Children will not become trans or gay by learning that teasing trans or gay students is wrong. Perhaps they might learn to be a little more thoughtful, open-minded, and empathetic though.
I'm sorry, of course that was the point of the blog. I took it the wrong way. I just don't want the reverse discrimination to start. I am sorry though, I never meant to say that the GLBT community were maliciously brainwashing anyone. I just don't want my sister to feel that she should be gay. The teen years can be very confusing and I dont want her to think that becoming gay is the answer to all the questions she will have( if that makes anymore sense).
I completly agree that children should respect the choices of others, but maybe I can put my concern into a better light.
When I was fairly young, 10-11 years old, the good touch bad touch presentation became a BIG thing. It seemed that I would be sexualy harassed by everyone close to me before the year was out. I was terrified. One day me and my uncle were wrestling and his hand accidentally sliped down the back of my pants.
He didn't grope me, didn't even really touch me. Due to my education however, I immediately went and told my parents. Naturaly my parents questioned him, outside of my presence. Apparently they were satasfied with his answers because there were no repurcussions(thank god). I havn't talked about this since but I was ashamed that I might have caused such damage to my family
Now to link these two topics( and I dont want to incenuate that being gay is like child molestation, just for the record).
I dont want my sister to feel like, when they explain the confusing feeling that I imagine comes with first coming out, she must be gay. I hope you dont take that the wrong way. If she does end up being homosexual I will still love her of course, but I would really prefer she not have to go through such a monumentous change in the family.
I dont know if this clears up my name from the last post but I hope it's not worse.
First of all, I understand completely what you are saying with the over-emphasis leading to unfounded conclusions. Though I won't get into specifics, that's happened to me, too.
Secondly, you have to understand that there's a difference. We go through life expecting heterosexuality to be the norm. Questioning that is strictly for the minority. Asking others to question it is not the same as making them paranoid about molestation, in part because conclusions are strictly personal and relatively easy to come to. You ponder it for awhile and either decide or you don't. If you don't, you leave it for another day or acknowledge that your sexuality is flexible. Without the big stink our culture makes of it, the discovery of one's sexual orientation would be a happy, or at least neutral, affair, that everyone would go through.
Sorry, none of that was phrased well, but it's late and I'm out of eloquence for the day. Forgive me?
T.k.
If you'll do the same.
Sure thing
T.k.
I appreciate that you stand up against violence and harassment. The one thing I want to clarify is that there is a difference between education and promotion. In these anti-bullying curricula, no one is telling anyone to be a lesbian.
The curricula simply say that there are people in the world who love best a person of the same gender (and even though gender is somewhat inaccurate, and they really should say "sex," most programs are careful NOT to say sex, as one of the arguments against these lessons is that they are teaching sex).
And they say that there are families that have two moms and families that have two dads, and that those families deserve respect as much as other families. They also say that name calling and harassment is wrong. That's IT! That is hardly promotion of a lifestyle, especially given the statistics about which I just wrote. It is all taught in a very age-appropriate manner.
Rainbow Families teaches people how to respond to discrimination against GLBT people even if they are morally opposed to the lifestyle. Many people are morally opposed to violence and want to protect young people, but they don't know how to speak up against harassment without sounding like they are condoning homosexuality. Look into it. There are resources out there for the fair minded.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
"I will not allow my brothers and sisters and children to be brainwashed into the complete opposite of what we've been taught."
Wow. Too bad no one was there to defend YOU while you were being brainwashed.
"So let it be known that there are people who, while they dont agree with you, detest what others do to the GLBT community."
Claims like this are insultingly disingenuous when coupled with comments like "God may not have intended GLBT to exist..." that directly contribute to the climate of hatred against the GLBT community. You don't get a free pass just because your intolerance is religiously inspired, nor because it does not manifest itself in physical violence.
I wouldn't say I'm intolerant just because I don't agree with your life style, but your right I worded that completly wrong. I really hope you can get past my ignorance to see the benevolence behind it, but I fear I may have pissed you off with my unthinking declaration of my disagreeing stance.
I have gay friends. I love them and tell them so often. I am not religious and was just pointing out a partial reason, but I wont get into that. My main point I was trying to make was that I am appauled at the level of violence and discrimination present in whichever areas your talking about, it really isnt an issue where I'm from. Apparently we are really accepting around here.
I apologise for saying anything and I will stay out of you clique from now on so as not to offend anyone with my bigotted, unfounded, damnedable views.
Again I am sorry.
sincerly,
locke
I read your comment on HopeforMankind's blog, which prompted me to revisit the comments you referenced there. I have to say that I don't think you were personally attacked here. I think your views were challenged. Yes, they were called intolerant. They may have been called ignorant (I don't remember if they were, but the bit about brainwashing and recruiting could have been called that). But you gave your opinion on the matter, Hammy gave his. Don't take that stuff personally. Take it as a cue to examine your opinion so you can either back it up or change it. That's what these exchanges are for. I do hope that you'll come back.
And for the record, Hammy is as hetero as they get. And he's not one to finesse a response.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Instead of mentioning any specific groups, why dont they educate children on basic compassion and understanding of everyone.
Hammy, I think his quote was expressing the fact that NO-ONE wants their children, or younger siblings exposed to ANYTHING that can take on a sexual nature or connotation, before they are ready.
I think a resonable compromise would be to just educate anti-bullying on a broader scale, instead of making it primarily about homosexuality.
"my first name must be, "He aint sh@t", cause everytime I come through, yall be like "He aint sh@t"!....I'll be dat" --Redman
"Anything that can go wrong, Will go wrong"----Murphy's Law
The reason is, of course, that not all children face the same level of bullying and harassment. Demographically, it is plain that a these kids are being targeted because of their percieved sexuality. The root cause of these incidents is not because of a lack of "basic compassion and understanding," but rather a specific area of ignorance that leads to social aggression being directed explicitly at gay kids (and kids who are percieved to be gay).
It seems to me that if a child is aware enough of another child's sexuality (or perceived sexuality) to target him or her for a violent attack because of it, then its long past time that someone began to educate that child about the relevant subject matter.
Kids are ALREADY being broadly taught not to bully one another (at least in theory). The problem here is that there is a specific area of ignorance that creates the impression that the rules for "normal" kids don't apply where the gay and transgeneder kids are concerned. The desire to KEEP these children ignorant IS THE PROBLEM. A parent that would rather see a gay kid getting beat up and raped rather than having his own child educated in the hopes of preventing that kind of violence has MONUMENTALLY FUCKED UP VALUES...in my humble opinion.
TTFN,
percivale
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Check out Progressive PRIDE, a Gay-Straight Alliance for the Progressive U community.
Honeslty. Do you really believe that?
Children, especially before high school, make fun of, or bully anyone who is different. I remember when I was in school, people bullied you if you didnt have the nice clothes, or you were over weight, or you only had one parent, I could just keep going. Americans have to start thinking as Americans. There should be no GLBT communities, the same way there should be no "white" or "black" communities. We have to work and live together.
Sorry for the rant, but, basically all I'm saying is that children hate who are different. So, a class that "targets" a specific group would only further their differences. However, if we started in Kindergarten teaching that it is wrong to belittle ANYONE no matter what. One, it would teach the same material that you are pushing for, and two it would not put people in groups. People would just be people.
I dont know, thats just what I think
"my first name must be, "He aint sh@t", cause everytime I come through, yall be like "He aint sh@t"!....I'll be dat" --Redman
"Anything that can go wrong, Will go wrong"----Murphy's Law
"There should be no GLBT communities, the same way there should be no 'white' or 'black' communities. We have to work and live together."
That is the first thing I've read from you that I could almost agree with. We do all have to work and live together. However, the GLBT population is the most openly discriminated population we have out there right now, and the "community" is really a community within the community. People need resources and empowerment from each other to fight discrimination. It's not an actual separate community. Until there is equality, this is necessary.
As far as teaching children not to belittle anyone, it's a good idea in theory. In the situations at hand, it sounded like the teachers and parents were almost promoting the harassment of the GLBT kids. No kid is going to buy it unless the actions of the adults change, or all groups that are discriminated against are talked about. It's not like the anti-bullying programs are only about GLBT kids.
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Ironically, the only way to REALLY educate the adults is to begin as children. I do agree that the learning process must start early, so why not devote your attention to the children, in a non-divisive way.
Adults who have hatred for any kind of people are unteachable. We cant try to teach adults to change their views or beliefs, but we can teach compassion to children.
Although, I do not support the "idea" of open homosexual marriages, I do support compassion for all peoples. These were two things taught to me early on in life. I had gay people in my schools, and never thought to harass or belittle them, even if it was percieved as cool. I think my actions in school were a direct result of my compassion for everyone, even those who were different than me.
"my first name must be, "He aint sh@t", cause everytime I come through, yall be like "He aint sh@t"!....I'll be dat" --Redman
"Anything that can go wrong, Will go wrong"----Murphy's Law
The elevated level of violence and discrimination faced by gay and transgendered kids--far beyond the normal statistical prevalence for kids in general--is a well established demographic fact. Despite being one of the smallest minority demographics, anti-gay bias crimes represent the third most common expression of bias-motivated bias (behind race and religion). Depending on precisely how you spin the statistics, this places gay people at between three to seven times as likely to be the target of an anti-bias crime than any other identifiable identity-based group.
From the U.S. Department of Justice: Crime in the United States (2004)
FBI Shows Gay-Bashing Increase in 2006
Factsheet: Bullying and Gay Youth
stopping anti-gay abuse of students in public schools
Gay, Lesbian, & Bi Teens: Students & Schools
I would say that kids make fun of and bully other kids that they perceive to be different. And, they bully gay and transgendered kids EVEN MORE because that ignorance is promoted and perpetuated by the unwillingness of many people to face up to the facts. And, lets not forget that this wasn't just an example of a kid being picked on by his peers. This child was RAPED.
Tell me this...when you were young and in school, how many times were you called a "nigger" every day? (I apologize for using such an offensive term, but I think it is appropriate to do so in this context.) Well, for gay kids, that is an occurrance that (on the average) happens once every 14 minutes.
"While trying to deal with all the challenges of being a teenager, gay/ lesbian/ bisexual/ transgender (GBLT) teens additionally have to deal with harassment, threats, and violence directed at them on a daily basis. They hear anti-gay slurs such as “homo”, “faggot” and “sissy” about 26 times a day or once every 14 minutes." (Bart, M. Creating a safer school for gay students. Counseling Today, September 1998)
Use of terms like this would be considered COMPLETELY unacceptable, and would be aggressively confronted and suppressed if the basis of the discrimination was racial. But, because this is happening to gay kids, this slurs are largely ignored and go unpunished in our schools today.
I disagree. I think kids "hate" other kids who they have been taught to believe are different.
That sounds pretty rediculous to me. Ignorance promotes hatred, but knowledge promotes understanding. I don't know of any instances where the opposite has ever proved to be true.
We DO start teaching that in kindegarten. However, because of the voluntary ignorance that is promoted by some, that lesson isn't being learned when it comes to gay and transgendered kids. Also, I can't help but wonder if your position isn't being influenced by your own well-documented anti-gay sentiments. It seems awfully convenient that you don't see it as a big deal that a group of people that you have actively spoken out against in the past are being violently targeted.
TTFN,
percivale
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Check out Progressive PRIDE, a Gay-Straight Alliance for the Progressive U community.
You are right. I believe that the GLBT communities have been victims to "hate-crimes" at alaming rates. Yes. However, educating elementary school kids on ANYTHING that parents deem "sexual" is wrong. Also, you are right, Education prompts understanding. However, to educate a third grader on the difference between heterosexuality, and homosexuality is a bit out of line.
"Tell me this...when you were young and in school, how many times were you called a "nigger" every day?"
As for your question about my experiences of racism, I went to a predominantly white urban high school in Chicago. My freshman year I heard the word "nigger" more times from classmates than my name. (A bit of an exageration). But, seriously I was forced to defend my honor because the administration at my school had no concrete evidence to prove my assertions. I had to slap a few people around, serve my suspensions (plural), and when I came back to school I didnt heard those kinds of remarks anymore.
That was the way I handled it. I am not sying that gay people should go on "ass kicking" tirades, but the first thing I learned in my high school was that people bully those who let them.
"my first name must be, "He aint sh@t", cause everytime I come through, yall be like "He aint sh@t"!....I'll be dat" --Redman
"Anything that can go wrong, Will go wrong"----Murphy's Law
The point you keep missing is that none of these anti-bullying curricula teach exclusively about GLBT families, and none of them teach anything remotely sexual. They teach about families and the different configurations and colors of families, including straight families, single parent families, grandparent-run families, etc. The protest only happens when a same sex family is included.
And what does that teach a kid about whether or not it is right to insult/discriminate/bully a kid from one of those families? If their parents bully GLBT families at the PTA meeting, and then the kid is told by the parent to "opt out" of the lesson because the school is teaching about something wrong, do think that kid will get the message that bullying ANYONE is not okay? Or will they get the message that bullying everyone EXCEPT the gay people and gay people's kids is wrong?
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Ediblewoman, if you are right about the fact that they teach to students the different types of family structures, I agree, you have to include GLBT families.
Maybe they can start young and general, and by the time the get to middle school, you can get specific.
Just because children tend to mimic what they learn. So, I think if you include GLBT families on top of hetero-families into a young childs brain, the child might want to mimic what he hears about.
For instance, when I was very young it was cool to play "house", where you picked a girl as your mate, and during school hours you were supposedly married. You held hands, gave kisses on the cheek, and there were even occasions of "cheating" between couples. This was all in like the first grade. Now, looking back it was the beginning of my sexuality. Those times formed how I would interact with the opposite sex. There were some boys who couln't get a girl, even back then. If they would have known about GLBT families, maybe they would have formed their own "gay" family since all the girls were taken.
"my first name must be, "He aint sh@t", cause everytime I come through, yall be like "He aint sh@t"!....I'll be dat" --Redman
"Anything that can go wrong, Will go wrong"----Murphy's Law
This is a tired, stereotypical myth that has been thoroughly disproved in the literature of child psychology. Young people who are exposed to gay people are no more likely to be gay themselves than young people who aren't. Heck, even that fact that you're worried about this is just one more example of the same sort of ignorance that CREATES THESE PROBLEMS in the first place. The underlying premise of your concern is that being gay is "wrong," and THAT is the very seed from which this kind of violence is grown.
TTFN,
percivale
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Check out Progressive PRIDE, a Gay-Straight Alliance for the Progressive U community.
I disagree. Frankly, if a parent can't (or more likely won't) educate and control his or her child well enough to prevent them from physically assaulting other students, then they have in my opinion abrogated the right to get upset when the school has to step in and do it for them. Also, it is my experience that the programs that attempt to educated about these issues in the lower grades aren't the least bit "sexual," but it is rather the prejudice of the objective parents that compels them to deem ANY discussion of LGBT issues in ANY context as such.
I don't think anyone is suggesting that it is appropriate of that third-graders even need to be instructed in any kind of detailed anatomical explanation of the ins-and-outs (pardon the pun) of sexual intercourse, but I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a third grader to grasp things like "sometimes little Johnny and little Suzie like each other, but sometimes little Johnny likes little Billy instead." Kids at that age regularly deal with concepts that are related to sexuality (like Valentine's Day) without having to understand that adults sometimes do more on that day that give each other a card and a piece of candy.
Unfortunately, the situation that we are describing for gay and transgendered kids isn't an exaggeration, and it is pretty primitive, I think, to suggest that a bullied kid has to either put up with the harassment or respond violently themselves. Public schools have an obligation to provide a safe environment for their charges, and trying to pretend that what is happening to these kids is in any way typical is just flat out wrong.
TTFN,
percivale
-------------------------
Check out Progressive PRIDE, a Gay-Straight Alliance for the Progressive U community.
you are right. Thats what I meant. I shouldn't have had to defend my name and honor but I did. It was sad that I was punished for it.
GLBT teens shouldn't have to defend their honor either, but and this is from an individual standpoint, on must do what one deems nessisary for their survival, and if someone is violently abusing me, I only see a few options, violence being one.
"my first name must be, "He aint sh@t", cause everytime I come through, yall be like "He aint sh@t"!....I'll be dat" --Redman
"Anything that can go wrong, Will go wrong"----Murphy's Law
I know I probably sound really harsh about all of this, but this is an issue that I have a LOT of personal experience with. Unlike a lot of gay kids, I was physically imposing enough to stick up for myself physically when I was attacked (more than once) by someone who wanted to beat up the "fairy." But, a LOT of kids aren't so lucky, and aren't able to defend themselves, and they shouldn't have to. It drives me NUTS when I hear about kids being beaten, raped and even KILLED because some other kid decided that having a gay kid in the class was just too much to bear.
The ONLY way that this crap is ever going to change is if we stop dancing around the subject and CONFRONT this ignorance HEAD ON. There is absolutely no rational reason to consider homosexuality to be a taboo subject in our schools. There are gay kids in those schools. There are gay families in our country. There are FACTS, and it serves NO ONE to pretend otherwise and ignore the fact that gay kids and adults are being subject to a truly staggering level of violence and harassment. If we can't face up to this and even TALK about it, even with our kids, then how will it ever get any better!?!?!
TTFN,
percivale
-------------------------
Check out Progressive PRIDE, a Gay-Straight Alliance for the Progressive U community.
Its these punk ass kids who cant beat on anyone else so they decide to beat on the kid labeled as "soft" or "gay". Your right. I am not a physically imposing person, and I know alot of hate directed towards me was simply because they thought that they could get away with it.
I hope school principles can look past opinions and recognize that bullying is probably the biggest school stress for children, outside of expectations and homework.
"my first name must be, "He aint sh@t", cause everytime I come through, yall be like "He aint sh@t"!....I'll be dat" --Redman
"Anything that can go wrong, Will go wrong"----Murphy's Law
From a conservative "pro-family" site in Indiana:
"Victory in Indiana! Hate Crimes Legislation Dead"
"Today I am able to bring you good news! In a previous email last week I alerted you to a very dangerous bill that the Representative Greg Porter drafted. HB 1459 the Indiana Hate Crimes bill flew out of committee with a vote of 9:1. House Bill 1459 would have made it a worse crime to assault a gay man walking out of a bar than attacking a grandma walking down the street. It would have created 2 classes of victims, and punished someone more because of their thoughts. This bill represents an attempt to give special protection to homosexuals and cross dressers by stating that a crime against them is to be treated with more severity than a crime against a senior citizen, a child or a pregnant mom. It was a step in the wrong direction for the freedom of speech. I believe a crime is a crime, and needs to be punished to the full extent of the law! One would wonder, would the next step have been to prohibit speech that someone views as hateful? For example, will legislation be introduced to prohibit pastors from speaking out against the homosexual lifestyle? This legislation has already been introduced in the US congress (HR 254), and stands with the votes aligned ready to pass. Already, we have people who are being arrested under the “Hate Crimes” laws. Ask these 2 grandmothers in Pennsylvania who have received a 40 year jail sentence for passing out what Pennsylvania described as hate speech. (The Bible!!!)"
WHY was it turned down? The same reason it has been for years- one representative added anti-choice bills into the amendment, knowing it wouldn't be passed. Ignorance has got to stop.
If the government won't protect a group of people, we can't expect schools to. Maybe we need to hit higher- government first. Then religion. Religion was not meant to preach hate or make excuses for violence!
.
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
"What do you want me to do? He wasn't technically raped..."
A school official this ignorant and stupid. I hope he gets fired. How can schools hire such moronic authority figures?
I feel for the Princess. I hope he (or she?) doesn't have to deal with such harrassment as described in those stories.
~ *~
This is a signature, an automated thingy that pops up when I comment, not a demand to see my blog!
Mind Control is Easier Than You Think
That poor kid had the misfortune of attending a school in one of those districts that violates the Minnesota Human Rights Act. As a way of pacifying the student, they allowed a GSA to start up, but only after he graduated. They are allowed to meet, but they are not allowed to advertise, organize, or otherwise make their presence on campus known. And the principal has tons of parent support in his discrimination, including, sadly, the panelist's parents.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I would think that if school can take the time to explain that everyone is different and everyone is special in regards to skin color, the same should apply to sexual orientation. Kids aren't being protected by the subject being ignored, they are only learning that since it is "wrong" to talk about, then it must be "wrong." Communication with kids about anything and everything they may have questions about is an important part of the learning process. No child should be denied the knowledge of something because the adults are afraid. Knowledge should never be feared as it is the lack of knowledge that causes all the problems.
And kids know about it anyway. Especially if they have a friend from a gay family in their class. And even if they don't, they hear about it everywhere. I mean, come on, how many kids watch the Family Guy? Too many. I think it's important to combat the misinformation they give each other.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
This is exactly why kids should be educated younger. Why have them walking around repeating misinformation for their classmates? If schools address the issue of homosexuality and allow kids to ask questions, I think a lot of the confusion, fear, and bigotry can be tremendously reduced.
I do think it awesome that one school made accomadations for their transgender student. If more schools were willing to show this kind of acceptance, less bigotry and intolerance among the student population would exist.
Kids have a tendency to mimic adult response. If adults show negative attitudes towards acceptance of these individuals, the students will in turn treat these individuals negatively.
why dont they just teach a broad ani-bullying corriculum. Teach that it is wrong to harrass, or abuse anyone who is percieved as different, whether it be skin color, sexual orientation, or what ever.
I think less parents will be cautious to hear about a general anti-bullying class.
"my first name must be, "He aint sh@t", cause everytime I come through, yall be like "He aint sh@t"!....I'll be dat" --Redman
"Anything that can go wrong, Will go wrong"----Murphy's Law
First of all, I love the title to your blog, very clever and caught my eye immediately. Also, as I began reading I was saddened and disgusted by occurrences at the school you described. I agree with what others have sad, it is so disappointing to hear that even in our country, the "land of the free," people who do not follow the straight and narrow path constantly face discrimination and ridicule. And this is occurring in every state, red or blue, even in my home state of California, the so-called most liberal state. I remember gay hate crimes occurring at my high school, a school once known for its activism and for hippies. I agree that the change must start in the elementary schools. However, this can only go so far and the people that children receive the majority of their information and ideas from are their parents. Therefore, until parents are more respectful of people's differences, and teach their children to be kind to all of their peers, no matter their sexual orientation, race, etc. there will probably be no change. Lets just hope that when we are all parents we can start that revolution (or perhaps speak with our parents!).
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kelliecor
Come meet my weight training teacher sometime. I'm enjoying making him uncomfortable by saying things like, "Sorry, I have to skip your class tomorrow. I'm vice-president of the school's GSA, and we're doing presentations to the health classes." Or, better yet, my statistics teacher, who's not only a lazy bum, but ignores students who start extensive conversations on how some skateboarder or another "can't be a fag, because he's too awesome!" Or maybe my anatomy/physiology class members who like to show off how smart and un-P.C. they are by deliberately referring to transgendered people by the wrong pronouns.
While I have never been physically assaulted for my gender or sexuality, these little things drive me batty. It's hard to stand up to a room filled with ignorant people.
(It might interest you to know that, at least where I live, GSAs are becoming far more inclusive of transgendered people. We are actively campaigning for gender-neutral bathrooms and regularly hold discussions and workshops on the topic. Not good times, but getting better.)
T.k.
Having spent most of my short life in Hawaii, i have seen and accepted almost anything.
In my experience attending high school in Hawaii, i found differences in sexual orientation to be widely accepted. Often, males/females who related to the opposite sex and choose to live as the opposite sex were generally accepted. The same goes for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. I don't personally know anyone who is trans gendered, but i would expect more acceptance in Hawaii than the "mainland."
In fact, two of the most popular dancers in our school were two males - both who danced in rather feminine roles and one who lived as a female.
So hearing these stories of complete and utter non-acceptance is hard for me to truly understand. And really, it makes me very sad.
Great Topic!
-Antonea
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. -George Bernard Shaw
I'm taking a class that posed this question, the thought process being that if we find the root, we can kill it at that. Obviously a lot of kids grow up in families with bigotry, against the LGBT community, people of other races, religions, classes, genders even. (Be glad you're a boy, son, you don't have to wash dishes and you get to play baseball!")
Some families don't have this going on. In my family, nothing negative was ever said by my parents, about anyone really, as a member of a group. Individuals, yes, but they weren't talked about as being part of a group. So, I had the thought growing up that people were individuals. My brothers, on the other hand, listened to some bigoted friends, and have their share of bigoted comments to make.
Discrimination and lack of respect toward certain groups starts in the home, but not necessarily each child's home. If the majority of parents there are promoting the hateful attacks, then maybe it's them that need to be taught.
Just to be clear, "sex" is biological, and "gender" is personal.
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Thanks.
I think the reason some of the anti-bully stuff says "same gender" instead of same sex is because the vocal detractors dpon't know the difference, but they hear teh word sex and have a fit. Not all the curricula uses gender in place of sex, though. Just the ones that have taken flack for the presence of the word 'sex.'
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
And thank you! :D
It does distract from the issue to use "sex" instead of "gender." Educating the parents is more likely to impact the kids, I think. Maybe PTA meetings? Maybe letters sent home and workshops at schools for both the parents and kids? You can do all the teaching in schools about mutual respect, but when the kids go home, they'll see the same discrimination and hate. How many kids have the power or will to tell their parents how it really is?
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Wow, I didn't realize that things were getting so bad for LGBT high schoolers. I knew the LGBT kids at my school through drama productions and they found acceptance through that program. It was quite a beautiful thing. I knew that they were harassed by some, but many others supported them, so they were ok.
Are LGBT kids really not able to find absolutely no real support from anyone at their schools? This must change if it is true.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
But even in very supportive environments, it is impossible for teachers to catch and stop every gay slut that's tossed about. Wouldn't it be nice if they could experience a whole school day in which no one made fun of their sexual identity and they didn't have to witness anyone else being insulted by being compared to their sexual identity? I don't think there is a day that goes by without encountering at least one gay slur. Not for me, anyway, and I'm not even in a high school on a daily basis.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Most of the comments made, kids don't even believe. Everyone has gotten picked on for some reason, whether it be sexuality, gender identity, wearing glasses, being poor, being rich, being a "nerd," being a "jock," being a "freak," being... a kid. The name-calling is something that sucks and it does torment some kids. Luckily, I grew up with cruel brothers, and nothing bothered me by the time I was in school.
Name-calling isn't right, but I couldn't imagine kids not being cruel with their words. They learn from the adults in their lives. ("You asshole ! You just cut me off!") You get a few kids starting with the name calling, then everyone joins in on it, and that's when it gets dangerous. It's the violence that worries me. As much as name-calling sucks, it doesn't kill. Violence can.
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Most of the comments made, kids don't even believe.
I disagree. In elementary school, my best friend and I were both the "smart kids" of our grade. We were both labeled as "nerds" and "geeks" and "geniuses" (all said as taunts) by our classmates, and they took every opportunity they could to remind us of our lowly nerd status. After awhile, that becomes how you think of yourself. "Oh, I'm just the class nerd...", like you're not really worth anything. My friend had it worse than I did...he also got called "sissy" because he was quiet, shy, and didn't play sports. The label stuck with him through high school, and despite always wanting to join the military after high school, he didn't because he didn't think he was good enough.* Labels do stick to you, and if you're called that often enough, it can become part of your identity, whether it should or not. Name-calling may not kill directly, but it can certainly damage your self-esteem and self-confidence.
*This does have a happy ending - two years after graduating high school and being away from those people, he finally did join the military, and is now much happier about life.
My point is that kids do what the other kids do.
In that situation, and I've been there, the kids would rather not take responsibility for not understanding something, and work harder. They would rather think of the "smart kids" as being something different and negative. Kids are jealous when one person completely understands a concept while they have to work hard to do it.
In other cases, economic status, race, religion, and any other differences a child perceives is exasperated in his or her mind, based on what they learned at their home or by peers. It doesn't necessarily mean the child believes it, as the child doesn't really have many opinions or belief that are his or her own by experience.
I wasn't saying that the people that are being insulted (and every kid has been) aren't hurt by the statements. "Perceptions make discrimination self-reinforcing, then prejudice becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy." (Unlevel Playing Fields)
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Finding acceptance in one extra-curricular activity at school is not even close to being accepted in every activity high schools have to offer. Kids should be able to freely participate in whichever program they are interested in without fear of being discriminated against just because of who they are. If they are only comfortable in drama and unable to extend past that department, there is definitely a lack of support from the school.
I think my optimism and my background is clouding my judgement. I don't want to believe that things have gotten this bad and I'm become content with the situation at my old high school. You guys are right, a little acceptance isn't enough. More must be done.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
The Day of Silence is next Friday, apparently. I'd participate in it, but that night is my school's Relay for Life, and I kinda need to be able to talk during that...
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
Want the highest rated list to change? RATE those blogs, then!
I love relays!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I think it's a walk for Cancer. At least that's what the Relay for Life is in my town.
I think that's the standard for Relay for Life. The pick a well known area and invite people to walk and raise money.
I heard about that. Aren't there specific situations where it's all right to talk? For like school and such?
Violence against any group is wrong, unless there is no other way to prevent them from trespassing upon the rights of others. Bullying and violence are directed at ANY group perceived as different, especially if they also appear to be too weak to defend themselves.
While this is unfortunate, and to be prevented, you have not presented any evidence that government sponsored propaganda of the sort you seem to think is required will help at all. Perhaps it will can you prove it?
The danger inherent in your proposal is the establishment of indoctrination by government schools against the parents’ wishes. While I understand that you favor centralized power when it benefits your side of a given question, consider the effects it has had when it was directed against you, as it often has been in the past.
The better route is freedom in the form of choice. You should be able to choose your lifestyle, and others should also be free to choose theirs. Forcing everyone to do the same thing is just wrong.
"A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets."
-Arthur C. Clarke
Parents have the right to opt their students out of anything in Minnesota. In fact, one teacher at the conference had some children opt out of civil rights movement lessons that discussed racial equality. The parents who protest these curricula are trying to force complete invisibility on GLBT families. Do you think that is any way to protect students? We've done the anti-bullying thing for years without mentioning gay families, and the statistics on violence against gay youth, or heterosexual youth who are perceived to be gay, just keep going up. They can't remain unmentionable anymore. The stakes are too high. All these lesson tell kids is that these people exist (which is a fact, and not propaganda) and that they should not be teased, called names, ore beaten up for the fact of their existence. That's hardly forcing the detractors to do anything. They can still choose to beat people up if they wish.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I just think they should be able to choose to go to schools that respect their opinions. Perhaps if there was enough demand there could be separate shools for everyone of these silly controversies for those that consider them of the foremost importance. Vouchers, not national ciriculum, is the future I want.
Has violence against GLBT and those perceived as such actually become a worse problem? I'm unconvinced. It has always been a problem. This is an attempt to solve it that may help, but there is no proof yet.
"A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets."
-Arthur C. Clarke
I believe that will just bring us back to segregation.
=D
In choosing freedom, even for my enemies, I try to be consistent. Homogenous is not diverse.
"A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets."
-Arthur C. Clarke
Do you really think that identifying a sub-population that is subject to excessive, identity-targetted harassment and violence in the context of a public institution, and then including a mention of that sub-population in a program designed to combat that harassment and violence to be an inappropriate action for that instiutitution? Your argument might have merit, if the harassment and violence faced by these kids were the same as that faced by the general population of the schools. But as that is clearly not the case, how do you justify the argument that no special steps should be taken to curtail these attacks?
TTFN,
Blackout
-------------------------
Yes, I've changed my username from "percivale" to "Blackout." Go here if you want to know why.
Unfortunately, there is clear evidence (discussed in more detail in the comments above) that the harassment and violence being faced by gay and transgendered kids in our schools are not the same as that which "ANY group" normally faces. The levels of bullying against this specific demographic is significantly elevated from the norm, and tends to be more severe than that which is faced by other minority groups.
I'm not sure what compels you to equate a program that teaches students that it is unacceptable to physically assault other students because of their perceived identity to "government propaganda." Acutally, if you had followed the links provided by ediblewoman (in her original blog) and by myself (in the comments above), you would have seen that several of these links contain information specifically on the studied effectiveness of programs of the type we are discussing. However, I will be happy to provide you with a more direct and detailed set of links addressing your concerns...
Study Proving That Schools Can Take Steps to Improve Student Safety Has National Implications for Addressing Harassment on the Basis of Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
"In a more detailed look at school climate and harassment based on actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender nonconformity, the 2003 Preventing School Harassment survey found that there are specific steps schools can take to improve safety, reduce harassment, and strengthen students’ connections to school and community."
Click here to download the full Safe Place to Learn report.