I'm fighting a bout of insomnia tonight so I feel like I should just ask:
"Where are the women when it comes safe sex?"
A hot topic lately is abstinence vs. safe sex and I don't know if this is really an issue so much as a matter of personal preference. No one can FORCE you to become abstinent just like no one should (notice I said should) be able to to force you to have sex.
Teaching abstinence in school is just peer pressure in the opposite direction from the wrong people, using the same methods of scare tactics kids use to influence one another only to a different end. It's not up to the teachers, it's up to the individuals. BUT, if these said children do, in fact, decide to consummate their relationship, why are they withheld the means to safely protect themselves?
We are a society that gets up in arms about teen pregnancies, yet these same people cry that birth control is a sin. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Which brings me to my main point,
KIDS WILL HAVE SEX. Doesn't matter percentages, doesn't matter if they're willing or not. It will happen somewhere, sometime. Even now. Shouldn't these kids be able to adequately protect themselves? Of course guys can run to the nearest Publix, CVS, Wal-Mart, practically anywhere actually, and pick up a box of condoms and no one says a word. No ID necessary, no age restrictions, no parental consent, nothing.
Now how many people have attempted to get birth control under 18?
THAT shit is a HASSLE.
I'll break it down for you if you're unaware but don't feel like doign the research.
I've had to personally deal with this in the state of Florida so your state may not apply but some states actually have harsher laws regarding birth control.
I recently had a pregnancy scare with a girl I was with so I decided to take her to get birth control. Her parents would never approve and she was only 17 years old. In Florida, if you go to the health department for birth control and are under 18 they not only turn you away, BUT RECOMMEND YOU TO A TEEN CLINIC WHERE YOU CAN GET BIRTH CONTROL "ILLEGALLY". They bend around a system they established merely to maintain a public image.
This wouldn't be so bad except the teen clinic is only open for 4 hours twice a week and sometimes you have to schedule an appointment a month in advance. All the hush-hush and the secrecy is all for the sake of diplomacy and maintaining a positive image.
Girls want equal job opportunities, equal pay, equal social status, but they don't care about sexual equivalence? I find this difficult to believe.
Especially since the girl is the one bearing the child, you think she would be given MORE leniency then the guy because she SUFFERS more. But instead she's treated as inferior.
So what happens if she can't get the birth control and gets pregnant?
In Florida to get an abortion to need parental consent.
To get married you ALSO need parental consent.
The state MUST have given themselves wiggle room somewhere. They did.
What's the loophole?
You don't need parental consent to get married if your pregnant, and you don't need parental consent to get an abortion if your married.
All this headache to simply avoid devastating your social life and keeping your sex life private? The way it SHOULD be?
I would like to hear a female opinion on this argument and would really like to know why no one is standing up for women's rights for privacy and sexual freedom.
If guys have it, shouldn't you?
If nothing more then to protect yourself from bearing a bastard rape child?
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I agree with everything you've said. I've never really thought about it before, because at this time in my life it doesn't effect me personally, but now that you've brought it up, this really ticks me off. It seems in one way us females still haven't achieved completely equal rights...in this case, the right to privacy about our sex lives.
Stormy
~The Writer~
Oh man...
I'm not sure how old you are or what your values are,
but sooner or later this issue is going to hit you like a truckload of hammers (and not the rubber kind).
It's important to be educated and I'm glad your taking an interest (or at least listening to) my opinions and I hope that you readily develop many of your own to share. =]
Well, if you get her pregnant, get married, have the abortion, get divorced. Repeat as necessary. That's what Florida wants you to do.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
~The Writer~
Oh trust me. I've considered it =P
Trust me, feminists are all over this shit. I don't know very many feminists (and I go to an all woman's college) who don't believe in women's reproductive right. That means easy and affordable access to birth control. Have you heard about the price hikes (especially at colleges) and health insurance denying women's claims? Or how about pharmacies refusing to carry birth control because of their beliefs (even in areas where only one pharmacy is readily available.
This is a big issue that should be addressed. I believe gyno exams, birth control, and the morning after pill should be available to all women (and pharmacists who don't agree should not be allowed to work in pharmacies if they can not put aside their beliefs while doing their job). The fact that she needs permission to get help under the age of 18 is ridiculous. I just hope their rape laws are better.
Think about it...
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tomorrowtoday
~The Writer~
I'm so glad people are trying to do something about this.
Especially since guys can more or less hit-and-run, and even if girls get an abortion they are still emotionally scarred from it.
I'm intrigued by you seeing as how I completely disagree with your post about recycling, but agree on many points about this argument.
Women DO care about sexual equality. Women are fighting to try to gain more freedom in their sexual life. Women are writing letters to congress expressing their disapproval for the increase in costs of birth control across campuses nationwide. (Isn't it reassuring to know that even when you get to college, birth control is hindered not by access, but by the cost to obtain what you need?) While women are doing all these things, you have to take a look at who is running this country, which is mainly men. Access to birth control is not an issue that most of them have had to directly deal with, which is why it is not a forerunner in issues concerning the government.
Agencies are trying to do what they can to work around the system because they know the system is broken.
Teenagers are not given the information they need to be safe about their sexual decisions. While they are pounding "abstinence-only" into their heads, these teens are out having sex and not knowing how to be smart about it. With comprehensive sex education, students would get information about birth control, sexually transmitted infections, abstinence, pregnancy and any other aspect of sex so they can make the choice that is best for them. 86% of schools across the nation are supporting "abstinence-only" sex education so they can receive funding from the government. The schools may be in-the-wrong for not standing up and teaching students what is right, but this is an issue that needs to be fixed on a widespread level.
~The Writer~
Congress is broken and corrupted in its own right.
I'm so glad you're taking action against this injustice, but just because we're men doesn't mean it isn't our concern (at least if we have a soul) as well.
And recycling is pointless but I would love to hear your argument on that point.
I have to agree, this is ridiculous. I'll be moving in with my boyfriend in a few months, and he wants me to go on the pill to save on condom costs. In Iowa, it's possible for a female, under 18 or above, to go to Planned Parenthood, get an exam, and receive birth control for free, no notification to parents or anything. This I know because my sister did it recently. Of course, she had to deal with the woman doing her exam looking down on her for being, in the woman's opinion, a slutty teenager, but it's still much less of a hassle here.
I don't need drugs - I have genetics.
~The Writer~
Lucky Bastard =[
I wish it was that easy here.
But still, why do you get to be despised for what men are praised for?
It still sucks.
I'm not saying it is not your concern, but I am saying that it is pushed aside for more "important" issues in Congress. They are too focused on other small issues like healthcare, abortion and taxes. Strange. I'm not saying they should not care - just that it is a small issue compared to others.
Good ways to get around the issue is to take action on a local and state level. Sometimes policy can be enacted for a specific location that does not directly go against the law, but may provide other options.
~The Writer~
I would like to try and change this policy on the state level.
I know you mentioned you are from Florida and have probably already researched this information, but here is a website that contains a lot of information pertaining to sexual health within the state. For those of you who are not from Florida, you can click on the state you are from to find out about their policies. Enjoy!
http://www.sexetc.org/state/?state_us_id=FL
~The Writer~
I found a few roundabout sites, but this one is very informative.
Thanks so much =]
Feminists ARE worried about this. It's difficult because a lot of the time, you're damned if you and damned if you don't. If you make birth control accessible to teenagers, then you're forcing them to have sex. If you don't fight to make birth control accessible then you're trying to trap men into child support. Not to mention that there are whole lot of people (women included) who think feminism is "over" and "useless" or evil, selfish baby-killers. And EVERYBODY whines about Sex and The City.
If you are interested in learning about feminism, by the way, you can check out here, here, here, and here.
~The Writer~
Sex and the City is an over dramatization and i can see why some people would be bothered by its contents. Same goes for Desperate Housewives. Cheating in your marriage is not ok.
I would like to know how you consider birth control to be "forcing" girls to have sex.
I don't understand the correlation. It's a personal choice.
And you aren't forcing men into child support either.
You're assuming then that rape isn't an option and she KNOWS who the father is.
I think (and hope) she was just using the extremist views as examples for why the laws have failed to change. Because the ultra conservative crowd believe by making birth control easily available (much like the HPV shot that came out recently) that we are encouraging immature girls to have sex. I'm so sure on the child support. Many men who get a girl pregnant never both with child support. The right I suppose would argue we are trapping the men because they assume they will do the right thing. Not always true, but a weak argument nonetheless.
Think about it...
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tomorrowtoday
~The Writer~
Yeah. I agree.
This isn't really a left/right argument though.
The Right isn't all Christian Coalition bastards just as the Left isn't all Pinko-Commies.
It's really an issue that revolves the question:
"Should your ideals of morality carry any weight upon the decisions of others?"
Same reason I think "Pro-Life" is wrong - You should be free to make the choice for yourself and the options should be readily available once you've made that choice. Denial is wrong.
And the Right-Wing CC can't say shit in terms of "immature girls" because they want to ban sex ed. Again, can't have your cake and eat it too.
Sorry, I'm used to commenting on feminist boards where being on the same page is usually a given.
I am adamantly pro-choice. I agree that teenagers should have easy access to birth control. In other countries, sex is just another facet of human life and healthy relationships -- for instance, Dutch teenagers do far better on "healthy sexual practices" than American teenagers. Why? Well, one reason might be because they aren't expected or forced or shamed or coerced into abstinence until marriage. Plus, Dutch teenagers are far less likely to become pregnant or choose to have an abortion, even though abortion is legal there. So you'd think that people who want to stop abortion would stop shaming sex and start passing out the BC, right? There's a really interesting article about it here.
So here's what I was actually trying to say:
There are lots of right-wing anti-choice "family values" types who believe that teaching pre-teens and teens accurate factual information about how sex works and giving them access to birth control will "encourage" kids to start having sex. That by handing a kid a pamphlet or a condom, you're putting them in "temptation's" way, and, being silly naive horny teenagers who don't know any better, they will inevitably and immediately start sexing up the first person they see.
The other side about trapping men for money is not from the family values types -- it's typically from the MRAs ("mens' rights activists") or The Nice Guys™ who generally display attitudes toward women that vary between "Get me my dinner! I want to have sex right now!" and "She's out to get me, that bitch!" If birth control fails -- or if a woman chooses not to use hormonal birth control methods and wants to stick with only condoms -- then people like this tend to say it's because she's trying to trap him with a kid and get his money.
Finally, the reason I mentioned Sex and The City is because it's used by EVERYBODY to mess up the real issues. It's typically an absolutely unrelated thing that's brought up to change the subject. Instead of logically discussing why women should have access to birth control, it turns into complaining about "slutty", selfish women who buy $4500 shoes and are never happy with any man. Depending on which side you pick, these characters and their popularity are either the reason why the world is going to burn in eternal hellfire or else the reason why a dude can't get laid.
~The Writer~
I have nothing else to say.
This is probably the best comment I have ever had posted and I don't think anyone could have said it better.
That made me laugh =].
Now...I want to become Dutch.