im feeling better from the last post. i think im gonna be able to do this. instead of getting mad i just bite my lip and dont say anything, whenenver usually id just complain and keep going on. i feel like i can do this =] which is a good thing. i hated the fact that i mad him upset or anything like that! it breaks me heart to know that i made someone feel that way, after knowing how it feels..i guess sometimes we do them things. usually for other reasons that have nothing to do with the person were treating unfair.
ive noticed a lot of things about myself recently. i have changed A LOT within the last 1-2 years. i think it is for the better though, because im way more happier than i have ever been. i mean, ive been happy before but i had them times when id get upset about stuff, but now im fine. besides when i do stupid stuff like get mad. love is a really good feeling, and i dont want to lose it. so thats mostly why i felt it was necessary for me to change how i was acting.
today i also realized something else..some of my "friends" are not the best of friends that they could be. a lot of my friends recently turned on me or just like stopped talking to me because they either got a boyfriend or they just went off and did stupid stuff. like these were good friends, and they were like this..thing is, i am a great friend so its more their lose. not trying to be rude, of course. i think ill name each friend and what happened with them:
- maddi_ her and i became friends because we were both really sad at the same time about almost the same thing. we became really close and always hung out and make each other feel better. she was ALWAYS so sad about this one kid. and this lasted a while, and he treated her horribly, like worst you could. okay so...recently, well more like a yr ago, they ended up dating...note:he is way older than her...okay and i dont think she should have got with him after all the horrible things he did, but she did anyways. and ever since theyve been together, her and i hardly talk anymore. its like now that she got everything she wanted(HIM)means she doesnt need anyone else. it really is like that because we dont talk anymore like we used to and we NEVER hang out anymore. it makes me sad but then again, i knew it was coming the first month they started dating. SO recently she got on aim and imed me..and said her and luke(her bf) were having problems,well figures that would be the only time she would talk to me. The days after that she got on and would talk to me about their problems..well i am mad about that. because the ONLY time she needs me as a friend is when HE isnt doing something right. its bulls**t if you ask me. i think its so rude and that is not a good friend to me. im sure a lot of peopel would agree..also i would always text her asking her to hang out and she would lie and say she cant bc she got in trouble with her parents and cant see her bf either. BUT funny thing is, when that happened her BROTHER, whos also my friend, told that she was with luke. so she lied to me instead after makign plans to hang out with me. not a good friend..also i would always text her asking to hang out and it would never happen. so i gave up. and she txt me yesterday asking to hang out, i didnt text back. im not gonna fall for that AGAIN.
-renae_her and i would also talk a lot like just friends, nothing was really wrong with us UNTIL she got this boyfriend of hers, and every since then i hardly hear from her AT ALL. before she had her boyfriend she used to call me almost everyday and talk and now we dont even talk at all. i think its rather rude of her. and every time i made plans with her, shed call that day and say that her and her bf were going out somewhere that they forgot about and that she couldnt hang out..im like wow, why am i getting treated like this. but then i realized, she isnt a good friend anyways..
ive learned my lesson on who my TRUE friends are, and them two are not them anymore. like im really not a rude person at all until someone does something wrong to me then i can be rude.
I got lost in reading this. What exactly are you referring to when you say "feeling better"?
my previous entry.
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