One of my friends told me that he was scared when he discovered a girl he hardly knew had a crush on him. At the time, I wasn’t able to explain that a crush for a girl is DIFFERENT from a guy’s crush. After that, my own brother confessed that he never really understood what a “crush” really was either. And so, I decided that maybe it was time to set the guys straight.
The dictionary states that a crush is:
· temporary romantic attraction: a temporary romantic infatuation (informal)
a.k.a. a teenage crush
· object of somebody’s crush: the person who is the object of somebody’s romantic infatuation (informal)
This may be the reason that guys feel crushes are creepy. (or so some have told me) They wonder how a girl could possibility have “feelings” for someone they really don’t know. But that’s where the catch comes in: most girls get crushes because they feel an attraction (for guys, this is probably when they think a girl is hot) and want to get to know a guy better.
You see, girls get crushes on people they want to date. They want to get to know the guy better, and they feel that dating is the way. I’m not so sure guys always feel this way. I think they would rather start a friendship then have a crush. But if you notice, a lot of guys never move past the friendship stage: they’d rather prefer to date someone they randomly meet. So girls think that a crush, which the guy doesn’t know about, is better. They aren’t “friends” but acquaintances, so perhaps the girl has chance.
However, before girls master the world of dating, they shy away from their crush or get red. They are scared to talk to him, but at the same time are itching to get to know him. It is a cycle that never seems to end: the girls really want to know the guy, but at the same time, their bodies are trying not to. Perhaps guys could take a clue and talk to a girl who turns red when walks by. However, most guys REALLY are clueless and never notice.
Introduce the world of the Internet and things completely change. Girls can get to know a guy without him ever having a clue. For example, there is myspace or xanga. A girl can research her guy and suddenly decide he’s not what she thought. (the crush disappears) Perhaps she discovers that a classmate has caught her interest and suddenly a new crush develops and so the cycle continues until one or both parties grows out of it or realizes how silly it was.
Crushes are temporary and usually the crushes dissapper when the girl realizes how immature and childish the guy she thought she “liked” really is. She always realizes at the same time how immature she really was for being so crazy over such a dumb boy. Most girls go through the “lovey, crushy time” and then the “boys are jerks” time. Sometimes, they never leave the “boys are jerks” time for years if boys have really hurt them. Most boys never realize that ignoring a girl who has a crush on them does not help, but hinders the situation.
Girls are more fragile with emotions than most guys realize. They do not realize that a single comment could send a girl crying for weeks. Girls remember converstations, random facts and other things. They take time to remember a guy’s favorite movie or CD, whereas most guys can’t even remember their birthday. When a guy fails to talk to a friend who is a girl after he gets a girlfriend, he really does hurt his friend. A guy should never leave his friends in the dust, even if he discovers that one of them has a “crush” on him. The crush will not last, but a friendship will. If a guy ruins a friendship over what a stupid crush, then the guy is once again the jerk. A guy should never ever break off a friendship if a girl has a simple crush on him.
Now, on the other hand, if the girl is creepy and stalks him in one of the following ways, she has more than a simple crush:
· she calls him every night
· she mails him letters every other day
· she talks to his friends and asks them to put in a good word for her
· she touches his body in many ways that are inappropriate or uncomfortable will
While this girl defiantly is boy crazy and to the extreme, simply cutting her off will not fix the situation, it will only make it worse. And ignoring her without a good reason is not cool either and will only get you the jerk status. If the guy wants to fix the solution the proper way, he should either play along (which may hurt her in the end) or just watch what he says or acts around her, because she will be really intone to his body language and the slightest action could make her fall apart.
Unfortunately, some people just don’t get it when you say no. (for the guy’s sake) They don’t catch the hint and continue crushing, and if this is the case, then you should avoid the situation until things blow over. But you should never completely cut her off forever, because that is just mean.
Don’t be freaked out about crushes because they are short lived and go with the flow. Most crushes are puppy loved or a way to get to know a guy better. Crushes can be healthy or unhealthy, but no matter what, you should never cut someone off just because they have a crush on you.
