Chicken Soup for the Cheater's Soul

Infidelity is like pissing in your bed. It seems right at the time. Maybe because you're asleep. And dreaming about waterfalls.

Eventually, you wake up pissy and pissed, and ask yourself, "How did I let myself do that?"

Literal cheating is more than just a bright yellow nuisance. You can't wash it off the sheets (although you might try). In a mentally healthy human being, the act will be a second pulse in your body - always there, even when you aren't consciously thinking about it. It'll Telltale Heart your ass.

DON'T CHEAT. But if you do [but DON'T], what can you do? Can't take it back. Don't do it again. If the urge for cheat and repeat is THAT big, re-evaluate the necessity of your relationship.

Tell, or no? It depends on your partner. Anyone with communication/anger problems or spastic/crazy/unpredictable tendencies should only be notified in certain cases - if you are ready to withstand spastic/crazy/unpredictable consequences [which may last on and off forever], if it really is never going to happen again, and/or if they are liable to find out in some other way.

Cheating sucks, especially if you love the person you cheated on. Being cheated on yields feelings of inadequacy. Who wants to feel inadequate? Moreover, who wants to feel threatened? Because the very presence or idea of the person whom you were cheated on with, is a threat. It happened, and therefore [mentally] can/WILL happen again. But you have to remember, it doesn't necessarily have to. It's hard to gain trust back, especially if one party does not show full apologeticism (is that a word? oh well). When a person can say but not portray "sorry", beware.

So, how to make it better? How to, how to? If you really want to make it better, make it work, make it right, get it right, get it right, get it tight? Get rid of the other girl/guy. Even if it's your best friend. You have to choose. Which relationship is more important? It might be hard to let go of someone, but for the sake of your significant other, it has to be done - no question about it. Don't even attempt to hold on to your less-important relationship, because they're a "cool person" or "fun to hang around with". The cheating factor whites it all out. Show you're sorry - through words and actions. Do a little extra, but be genuine about it. You can't buy forgiveness, but you can try if you want to. Just be willing to accept potential (and likely) acceptance of gifts, with continued cold shoulder. Don't get mad or frustrated at the amount of time it takes someone to forgive you. It's your fault, remember that. If they're worth it, then wait it out. And be pleasant and polite, even if it kills you. Talk it through and make promises/plans. Say some smooth shit about the future but MEAN IT at that. Discuss it in depth if that's what it takes. Decide to commit.

But only if that's what you really want.