REPORTER: Good evening! Tonight! Clinton has accused Obama of plagiarism, saying he stole the words of his friend, Governor Deval Patrick of Massachusetts, for his recent speech in Milwaukee. Reactions are mixed to this accusation; some accuse the Clinton campaign of mudslinging, while others feel Obama's borrowed rhetoric takes away from the meaning of his words.
Here to talk about the accusations, live, are none other than Candidates Clinton and Obama, as well as Governor Patrick as well! Gentlemen, ladies. Good evening.
Obama: Why are we here instead of campaigning in Ohio and Texas?
Clinton: Or Wisconsin! The race isn't lost yet!
Patrick: Yeah right
REPORTER: Ms. Clinton, the charges you issued against Senator Obama are severe. Would you like to explain your reasoning-
Clinton: If you're going to wax pretty words and rhetoric instead of focusing on policy and actually improving this country, it should at least be your own pretty words!!
Patrick: Plagiarism?? This is the best Camp Clinton can come up with??
Obama: Hey, now, maybe I should have credited you-
Patrick: Bullshit! This isn't high school English class!!
Clinton: Oh, so cheating's not a big deal to you?! Are you admitting you'll cheat this country?
Patrick: You're the one who doesn't seem to give a damn about who cheats and who doesn't!
Obama: Guys, guys, it's really not that big of a deal-
Clinton: How DARE you! How DARE you bring Bill into this!!
Patrick: Oh, I DARE! And I also dare-
Castro: Jeez, I've been a major US enemy and evil dictator for nearly 50 years, and this is the head story over mine? 
Reporter: I'm terribly sorry, sir. Things seem to have gotten out of hand...
Clinton: I dare you to talk about policy for once!
Patrick: Tell the truth about where you really stand on the issues!!
Clinton: Then you should tell the truth about your candidate's drug history!
Patrick: Then I dare you to address the sexual harassment charges filed against you!
Clinton Oh!! You-! I dare you-
Obama *is quietly raising money in the corner*
Cindy McCain: Obama's wife is unpatriotic!!
Michelle Obama: Yeah, well you're just pathetic for trying to jump onto Clinton's smear campaign train in case it actually leaves the station.
McCain: *snicker*
Clinton: 45 million Americans don't have health care! 9 million of them children! Income inequality has increased since 1929! 3963 American soldiers have died in Iraq! The cost of this war is past 1 trillion dollars! I have plans to fix all of this! And you have your hope.
Patrick: You want numbers?! How about the current exit polls?? Change trumps experience, 52% to 24%! You're seen as the most unfair attacker, 55% to 35%! Obama's seen as the candidate most likely to improve relations with the rest of the world, 55%, and though you're seen as equally qualified, Obama gets 60% on who's more likely to unite the country and beat the Republicans!
Clinton: He offers you pretty prose, while I offer you policies! He offers blind hope, I offer you the chance to see again!
Patrick: He offers change, you offer stagnation! He offers resurrection, you offer a less-painful death!
Clinton: HILLARY CLINTON!! SOLUTION FOR AMERICA!!
Patrick: BARACK OBAMA!! CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN!!
Obama: *is busy winning Wisconsin and Hawaii*
Castro: Do I need to get my army out to get some TV time here?
