I dream of the day in which I will be freed, the chains that bind me still broken. I wait for the day in which I will be saved, the emptiness inside me fully fulfilled. the day that light will shine upon the dark recesses of my heart. A time when the void inside me begins to fade, giving way to light. I stand alone with no one by my side. Kind words of loyalty always seem to fade for priorities lie elsewhere and I am left alone. I stand amidst a sea of loyal friends yet I know I am alone. I am of little importance standing next to them. I am but a servant to those in need, I, myself, do not deserve to be cared for. I am only here to serve and be used, going unappreciated. Taken for granted like the air we breathe or the sun that warms us never have I known, felt significant. In the end I stand alone, not deserving. Though I am loved by many, I am but a servant, of great importance but only for what ails thee. As thy troubles seem to fade along does my importance. I become but a stranger, forgotten. In the end I stand alone, not deserving. Why must I be bound to emotions that run deep? Through it all I stand alone. Tending to broken hearts, mending emotional wounds without hesitation, but my wounds go untouched, I am left to care for myself. If you chose to take a look at my heart and you will find many scars of wounds left untreated. My heart started out as a diamond, flawless and beautiful, ever-shining, slowly begins to turn to a lump of coal, knowing I am not of any significance I am losing my passion, my drive to help, for why must I continue with my destiny when I receive little in return, why must I continue helping those undeserving of my love. The love that surrounds me seems to fade with the knowledge of knowing that I am but a servant, meant to help and serve, but never to be helped or serve. In the end I stand alone, not deserving. Leaving my side, no one ever stays, for I am not worth the time. I wait for the day when someone will realize my worth, the things I’ve done and decide to care for me. I wait for someone to come and take me away from my troubles, show me that I am deserving, but for now I stand alone, not deserving.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
I felt all of that. I too understand your blog. You have to find away to control it. There are ways. Once I was able to choose who I wanted to help then I could begin working on me and relaxing. I know the constant worry, the contant thoughts, all the sadness because really most people are sad. Very little joy to pick up on. If they use you then they are not your friends. Be selective. I am so sorry you feel this way. That heart chest pull. I do understand your pain. I feel yours too. Beautifully gifted.