If Rape Is Inevitable, Relax And Enjoy It

That quote comes from the infamous Indiana University basketball coach Bobby Knight. He said that in an interview with Connie Chung and later tried to retract the comment by saying that people were taking his words out of context. Most people would ask what other context you could possibly take it in.

Rape is a very serious issue in this country. Every two and a half minutes someone in America is being sexually assaulted. While in the past two years more than 787,000 women were the victim of a rape or sexual assault, the FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported and only 26% of attempted rapes are being reported to law enforcement officials. That means there were more than 2 million rapes in this country in the last 2 years. Does this make anyone else’s stomach churn?

On the other hand, I have heard of people who actually fantasize about really being raped. Some of these people (granted a very small number) actually put themselves in a position where they know it is very likely they will be raped. They may want this to happen because they enjoy this kind of sex. A few people like it really rough.

There are so many others who don’t actually want to be raped, but still have rape fantasies. One of the reasons is they are trying to fulfill the opposite side of their sexual nature. Having these fantasies would let a submissive man be a domineering rapist, for example. Another reason would be someone who has been sexually assaulted, or more likely sexually abused, would use rape fantasies to heal past wounds and work on their unresolved issues with power and control. I have heard of other reasons including an evolutionary relic dating back to prehistoric man who raped women to pass their genes on or the fantasy serves as a psychological device through which the fantasizer can safely indulge in an intense sexual experience without guilt, but I think those are bullshit!!

Regardless of what reason one might have a rape fantasy, they are in no way promoting or condoning rape, have a desire to rape others, or wish to be raped themselves. Or do they?

Rapists, almost without exception, have rape fantasies, so why couldn’t that be the same for the victims. Rape is a result of sexual issues at its core, but it’s mostly about power and control. Who has the power and the control? I had once heard about a woman’s self defense class that would tell their students that if all else failed, act like you’re enjoying what’s going on so you’re taking the control away from the rapist and he will loose interest. Really? So what the teacher is actually saying is, “If rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.”

A rape fantasy is not to be confused with a real-world rape, which is a violent crime, but wouldn’t women be taking the power back if they tried to enjoy it instead of giving the criminal the satisfaction? 69% of rapes occur by someone the victim knows, so it wouldn’t be that difficult to pretend you enjoy it. The victim could act out their own rape fantasy and ruin the rape fantasy of the rapist.

I think people could learn a lot from the rude, crazy, and politically incorrect Bobby Knight.