The 21 Year Old Virgin

i must completely agree with you and i support your position. it is great to be a virgin even if society doesn't promote abstinence. there is no such thing as 'safe sex.' Even though society promotes it, no such thing even exists and therefore it is better to be a virgin. it is a great gift from the Lord to be a virgin and is something that should be given to your husband or wife on your wedding night or honeymoon. it should not be given to someone who doesnt deserve it.

Check out www.asexuality.org.

Sex is a beautiful thing... but it shouldn't be what a relatioship is about. If anything, sex can either strengthen a relationship and the bond between too people, or kill the relationship. It just needs to be dealt with maturely, and many people out there are not yet mature enough to do that. When people enjoy sex so much that it takes over and becomes the main focus of the relationship, that is when you know that the reltionship is over and the feelings between the couple are dead. However, when sex serves to create an intimacy and a level of comfort between two people that can't be reached in any other way, it is a beautiful, joyous wonderful thing. There is nothing wrong with not having sex... but there is nothing wrong with having sex either. It is just a decision two people make.

I completely support being a virgin. I just can't understand why people make such a big deal about it. It doesn't change the person and you're not giving anything away because by the time people lose their virginity, they aren't pure anyways because of their thoughts and images on tv.

I think sex is an important part of a relationship, it's not the most important part, but it is important. Sexual compatability is something that at least needs to be discussed before committing to someone permanently (which ideally is what marriage is). Because if you're not sexually compatible, the relationship will not work.

That being said I don't understand the big deal about being or not being a virgin. I've had guys refuse to date me because of it. It, like many other things, is just a state of being. It does not reflect on your morals, your integrity, it does not say anything good or bad about you as a person. It just says you haven't had sex.

virginity is defined as the quality or condition of being a virgin; the state of being pure, unsullied, or untouched. A virgin is A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden. So in taking Christianity out of the subject, and assuming that everyone is not a christian, the dictionary says that a virgin is an unmarried person, this insinuates that a person who is not a virgin is married. I'am a virgin because I was not raised to have premarital sex, however I would not even feel right having premarital sex. Society has changed the opinions of so many poeple but the bottem line is, rather you feel that you are mature enough or not premarital sex is wrong. back to the bible, "It is better to wed than to sin." and spend eternity in hell.

It was a joke, but one you wouldn't understand. I'm not judgemental, my sister had a baby out of wedlock and she was raised the same way I was, I don't judge her.

luve me , you should not run from conflict, we can solve a problem reasonably without you having to remove stuff. I commend your vowel to be chaste, and respect the opinions of others. I, as well apoligize for offending anyone.

Well I am still a virgin, and I have considered having sex with my boyfriend, then decided against it. It has taken a lot of self control on both of our parts. I don't want to possibly complicate our relationship by going all the way. I would be worried that he would not respect me as much anymore, and if we break up, I would be devastated. To me sex is supposed to be special, so I have decided to wait. I have also been raised not to have premarital sex, which is also a big part of my decision.

Virginity is the most precious gift a woman can give to someone. It is precious because you can never take it back again once it's given, not unless you had it operated (what do you call that operation again?). Eventhough you had it operated you cannot deny the fact within yourself that you are already wasted. Guilt in you will always scream.

In certain extent, I agree that being a virgin is something to be kept until the marriage and at the same time be proud of it but you need not to tell it arrogantly to everyone. It is just my notion of protecting yourself against men who may take advantage on your virginity.

I know that you only wanted to have a clean relationship to someone without anything to do with sex until the right time thus it is up to you to make it to reality. You are the one who choose your partner so choose well and I hope you find him.

A person like you who believe more on the power of love rather seek sex need someone who will repay your love even better.

I think it's interesting to see that most women value their virginity (as well as their fathers), yet most men don't. It seems like men don't want to save themselves for anyone - yet expect his wife to???

I am also a virgin. I work at a place where all the girls seem to talk about is having sex with their boyfriends. I go back and forth between being embarrassed at my naivety and being so glad that I don't have to worry about what they do.
I don't have to worry about breaking up with my boyfriend and wondering who else he's going to sleep with.
I don't have to be afraid that a guy is only after me for my body, because I make it clear that I am not cheap.
I also don't have to make the mistake of believing I'm loved and find out later that I was being used.

All in all, I am thankful that God put it in my heart to stay a virgin until I am married. But I also know that God is full of grace... and if anyone has made a mistake, He is ready to forgive if they are ready to turn their life over to Him.

I think a girl valuing her virginity is rare these days and it's nice to see that you are. I lost my virginity at the age of 18 but it was to the most wonderful boyfriend I've ever had (whom I'm still with). I think as long as a girl don't regret losing her virginity, then she did the right thing

To me sexual aspect of the relationship has always been important and created more intimacy between people. If that's not the case for others though, I congratulate them for sticking to their beliefs. I know there's a lot of pressure these days to lose your virginity, but if you're really not wanting to until marriage or until you find a really special person, then that's really cool.

down

In my perspective.
Fathers, friends or someone that, that particular guy looks up to as a father figure, often hear, "yo son, you hit that yet."
It's embarrassing to say no, because they will look down on him as if he didn't have "game".
If you said yes, they will gas him up, as if he was "it".
Then they'll ask a couple of personal questions, and he just can't lied to their face because they'll recognize he's lying.

Guys/Girls nowadays, in relationships always want to check if the girl knows how to "ride"(not a car).
If they found out he/she's a virgin they back away. Or asked them if they were scared to try it with them. Making them feel little of themselves. (That's how guys/girls can be tricky).

If that ever occur to any of you,
say "no, you don't want to try it with them". It might be hard, because you want to make a great oppression. He/she might make you seem like a lame. But you are saving/protecting yourself.

If you want to try it anyway. SEX is either going to make you or your relationship STRONGER or FALL APART.

I am a 16-year old female, talking out of my experience in life.

Your choice, think smart.

"True" love can wait.

I dont agree that your virginity is the "most precious gift" you can give, as someone said. People make it out to be this huge thing that they need to save for marriage. But sex is part of a relationship whether you want to admit it or not. If you get married and find out your husband completely sucks in bed, are you gonna want to keep doing it to have kids? You'll say it doesnt matter, i know, but the fact is that you cant really say until you have experienced.

I feel you are one strong woman taking a stand against society just by saying i am not practicing any of these behaviors till i find the one i will marry. U r so rite about that sex is not neccessary part of a relationship u can be in a relationship with out having sex being involved. I feel the same way as well!

I feel you are one strong woman taking a stand against society just by saying i am not practicing any of these behaviors till i find the one i will marry. U r so rite about that sex is not neccessary part of a relationship u can be in a relationship with out having sex being involved. I feel the same way as well!

to make sex seem less than it is is to take the meaning in love away!

I'm so glad that you're saving yourself. I am as well, due to my Catholic beliefs. I'm waiting until my wedding night before I have sex. I don't believe that sex is essential to any relationship unless the two people are married. And like you, I find myself to be attractive, too, so it's not like the only reason I'm a virgin is because I'm hideous. I find my virginity to be a sacred gift from God.

good for them

It has been my experience, in a very dominated religious culture that strongly advocates abstinence, that a lot of people get married young, even pray about, and end up getting pregnant right away, and frequently later become divorced or being miserable. I don't see this pattern so often, however, in the people who don't believe in abstinence. My theory is simple: these young virgins are mistaking very strong sexual feelings between each other as love. And while they don't think they are, they are getting married in order to have sex. Ironically, they are basing their relationship on sexual feelings without knowing it. While people who don't have the same pressure are more likely to not mistake sexual feelings as love and have relationships more based on love than sex since they can tell the difference through experience.

Citizen Press Revolution

That is wonderful! I and my friend were talking the other day and we both agreed that not only will we stay virgins, but we will not marry someone who isn't. If I'm "pure" and untouched then he should be, too. Its great to hear from you other virgins, too! Cheers again!

May the Force be with you...and God bless.

i commend you on being a 21 year old virgin. I actually knew someone who waited until they were married

i agree, we place too much of an emphasis on sex. its bugged. but keep up the good work.
IT IS POSSIBLE!

I agree that the most precious gift a woman can give is her virginity. I agree that sex should wait for marriage. I believe in chastity.

However, I believe there needs to be some reason other than the Bible for chastity. I'll admit, I'm Roman Catholic, and that has a lot to be with my beliefs on the subject. However, faiths falter, and you need a secular reason in addition to your faith, such as STD's, pregnancy, fear of a horrible break-up afterwards, etc. Plus this way, you're doubly-strong in your beliefs.

Congrats. I commend anyone who has the will power tp remain chaste. I see it as a personal choice, and kudos to those who make their own decisions and stick with it. I approve.

What I don't approve of is notions a lot of those who disapprove of premarital sex have. That we're going to hell. That we don't know true love. That we don't value our bodies. That we will end up divorcing. That we dont love our sig. other as much as you do/will. That my entire relationship is based on sex. I find this to be all a crock of shit.

a.) Just because you believe in God and the notion of premarital sex being a sin, doesn't mean we all do. There are tribes in Africa who have never had Christian influence and have sex all the time. Is God going to punish them for having sex without being married, despite the fact that they don't even know what "God" is? I doubt it.

b.) I have been in two serious relationships. I have been in love in both. I love my first so much, we both lost our fathers in the same year, we went through everything together. He was my best friend, and to this day I still consider him my first love. As for my current boyfriend, I spend more time on a plane and in a car traveling across the country to see him than I spend doing anything else. I would go anywhere and do anything for him, and he is the same way. We love each other ridiculous amounts.

c.) I respect myself and my body whole heartedly. I would never let anyone misuse it or mistreat it. Every experience I've had (sexually) has been by choice, not peer pressure. I chose who I wanted to sleep with, what I wanted to do. It is my body, after all. Am I only allowed to deny myself things to show myself respect? I can't allow myself to enjoy my body?

d.) I've already stated my opinion on divorce and pre marital sex before-I actually think that it is more dangerous to get married to someone you don't know that you are 100% compatible with. If you don't work it bed, it can have a HUGE effect on the relationship. Also, I feel it leads to more wondering eyes, wondering what else is out there, what sex with someone else is like, if it's better, etc. If you've had sex with other people before marriage, and had sex with your sig. other, you'll know that it's right for you and you don't need anyone else.

e.) I love my relationship with my boyfriend. It is the greatest relationship I have in my life. I will most likely end up marrying him. He makes me life so amazing and I love him with my whole heart. I do not sleep with him to keep him around, I do not sleep with him because I am too anxious to wait, I do not sleep with him because I'm not really in love and it can't wait. I sleep with him because I love him, and I am more comfortable with him than anyone else. I feel at ease around him and am comfortable enough to share that kind of intimate experience with him because I love him.

f.) My entire relationship is not based on sex. It is based on compatibility. I love him, he loves me. We laugh, we cry, we joke, we tell each other everything, we yell at each other, we fight, we make up. We have sex. I enjoy it, as does he. It makes us feel close, it's something that feels good, it's something we share together. In honesty, if we didn't have sex, I'd feel like we were missing something.

So please, all virgins, I absolutely respect your choice. I wish you would respect mine. Even if you don't understand

So the only continent with tribes is Africa? Yes I am African American and there are more tribes in America that do not believe or actually know who God is then in Africa? And to really educate you on my Oh so beautiful continent Ethiopia is the oldest country in the world to practice Christianity as a national religion.

Sorry about that. I love myself too much to let that go. Back on the topic then. I am a Black, virgin, male, devout Christian who love s his girlfriend of two years very much. I want to say that sex is a very large part in our relationship. It is large because I am a virgin and she is not. The Bible has very little to say about that if you do not dig deep enough. Jesus Christ forgave many sinners and lead them to salvation no matter what they did, and He continues to do so today. The biggest thing that I had to learn was forgiveness.

I forgave my girlfriend for giving her virginity away to some dude she didn't even love. By the way my girlfriend is also a devout Christian. She did it for her own reasons that aren't important now but she did realize what she did was wrong and never wants to make the same choice. The purpose of me mentioning this and even posting this comment is that everyone should realize that being a virgin is important whether you choose to be or end up with the short end of the stick. Whether you do it because of your love of the Lord or the love of yourself. But in the long run that doesn't matter as much as the relationship you are in.

We will all make mistakes and stupid choices so I do congratulate those that remain virgins until they are married, it is nice to know that I have people still fighting the good fight, but also remember (especially if you are in a relationship) that it is okay if you are not. Your virginity is precious and you can only give it once, but do not think that it is the only precious gift that you can give once.

My girlfriend and I talked about this topic for months and years, days and hours. And in the end I found that I was only making her relive her awful mistake over and over again. Sorry, but I did pray about it and as soon as I got to my knees I had an answer. If she did not care enough about her virginity to save it for me or who ever she marries than it wasn't a precious gift in her eyes at all. The precious gift that she is giving to me is her life, her love, and all the moments in her life that truly make life special. Her first (and Last) wedding, her first and last child birth, her 50 year anniversary, and the first and last time that she will take her husband's virginity which SHE cherishes more than I do.

I hope that however reads this (if they make it to the bottom of this lond thread) find my words the least bit helpful. I did not mean anyharm with the Africa comment, its just that too many people get carried away with thinking that Africa is a spit hole, but you get all your textiles and resources from there ;-) So watch what you say about the continent that keeps you in Ambercrombie and Fitch.

I pray that God blesses you all in all that you do and all that you do do it for Him.

Peace be unto you!

I've been reading these comments, and a lot of them seem to be very judgemental. A lot of people here are quoting from the Bible, and some even talk about others going to hell. I am spiritual, I was brought up Catholic, and I am not a virgin. I do not parade the fat, but I am not ashamed of it. Is it wrong in Catholic religion to have sex before marriage? Yes. Is it wrong to judge others in Catholic religion? Yes. Then why are so many people doing it?

My best friend is 21-years-old and a virgin, and I completely respect it. I did not choose to follow that path, and she did not choose to follow mine. But we don't toss out feelings of being better than one another. I love my boyfriend and plan to marry him. The love between us is so great, others can't help but notice it when they are around. And you ask why not wait until marriage? Because being physically intimate has helped us grow closer together and create an even stronger bond.

Great job to those who are waiting for marriage. Great job to those who have no regrets. None of us are in a position to judge one another.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

i agree with you.... more power to ya girl!

The Bible says Definitely:
1. Adultery of any type is wrong.
2. Infidelity is wrong.
3. Sexual immorality is wrong.
4. God loved the world so much that He sent His son, who died, and was resurrected to give us salvation from our Sins, including Adultery, Infidelity, sexual immorality, homosexuality, theft, murder, and other sins. Apart from Christ, everyone is headed to the same Hell. With Christ, everyone is headed to the same Heaven.
As far as Virginity is concerned:
I am 30 years old, a male, and I am a virgin by Choice and I choose to remain so until I marry.

S1701.