Stepping Out on Faith

A lot of things bother me lately. I've become a cynical person. The struggles I've seen in my life have made me challenge my faith which has brought me down spiritually, aswell as physically, mentally, and emotionally. But, now that I'm on the flip-side of all the pain, and growing back stronger all I can do is encourage people in pain, and seek encouragement and advice for myself, along side.

In church we've been talking about Faith, and Sex. (faith on wednesday, Sex on Suday). While I have a lot of person views about sex, I've found a new passion for the study of faith. I've recently met one of the mots impacting people on my life, Todd (I'm leaving his true name consealed, Todd is a false identity). This is his story, aswell as mine:

One Sunday after church, a misplanned afternoon led me to hang out with my good friend Mark, age 30. We, my brother and I, had nothing to do between 3 and 5 when we had devotional with the youth group. Since Mark lived so close the congregation and he and I were intimate friends, we decided to hang out with him and his wife. We got to talking about the sermon (this was before the sex series) and came up with ideas of how to be missionaries in our own communities. We concluded to go pray with someone just to encourage them; so of we went.

It was akward from the start. We didn't really have a plan, it was scary, and we weren't very inspired, but we peristed on through. After no one was home at the first house, we went on to the next. After talking with the lady of the house for a while, we mentioned we were there to pray. At this, her eyes glazed over with remorse. She told us of her drug addicted son who was about 30, Mark's age. She asked if we would encourage him; it was unanimous.

She went in to get him while we sat dumbstruck by the way God had openned up a window of opportunity to praise him by spreading his word. Todd came out and we briefly got to know him and went into their backyard to talk. We talked at length about how God was seeking him, and it was no accident that we were led to him. He had used the night before, and was extremely depressed. The pain in his eyes seemed to stretch across the eternity of space that seperated his life from mine and touched my heart in a way I could never imagine. I teared up, but made a firm decision not to cry, a decision I regret.

Mark at one point asked if had ever given his life to Jesus before... He couldn't think of committment to God at a time like this! He was strung out from the night before, how could he consider submission to God's will when he can't even please himself with his actions! He got up crying and went inside, humbly, ashamed, REAL, and so contrite. He came back out later, and we talked more, he asked diligent questions, and genuinely cared about us. He continually said I feel about this big holding up his fingers to show how small he was in the presence of God.

He has been addicted since he was 18 -12 years. He said he'd tried to quit 9 times, and was going to rehab again in a few days. We didn't know what to say. We'd faced our addiction with practical things. Between us we had a few habbits, and I still do. My small addiction weighs nothing next to his. He's been through do muvh pain; his mother once said in regard to Todd, "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."

The part of his story thus far that affects me the most is that he isn't the drug addict you see on TV or in the media. He's not the crazy guy that's a terrible person surrounded willfully in all the worst possible situations. He's not unaffected by it, he doesn't just indulge in his chemical dependency. He's actually a very considerate, even loving guy. He's not antisocial, he's not stupid, he's not what you'd expect. In fact, he's just like me or any other person that's made a mistake. I've made horrible mistakes with lasting affects aswell. I wrecked a car when I was fourteen. Yeah, it seems like something that I could get over, but I'm still living with the consequence, even after I repented. It's the same with Todd, he just wrecked the wrong car, the car I was lucky to avoid.

Anyways, I've seen Todd twice since I first met him- once at rehab, once after he was out (which was before the program was over, but that's another story). He seemed to be doing great, but last I heard he was sent to jail for violating parole; I'm not sure what he did. It could be as serious as possession of drug, public intoxication, or as simple as getting lost on the wrong side of town or being within 100 yards of the wrong person. I also heard it looks like he'll be let out soon and he wants to be involved with the church all the time. So pray for him, and pray that God is working in his life always. If you pray for nothing else, pray for Todd.

Where to go from here: be faithful. Be zealous. Be radical, break barriers! It was so akward to just go pray with someone, but God encouraged him with our presence. Trust me, when you feel led by the holy spirit you'll know, because you're not going to want to do whatever it is your being told to do, but know that it's right. It can be as simple as praying with a stranger, reading your bible publicly looking for someone to join you, or even just praying for somebody. somebody you see at the grocery store, or a girl you saw that's pregnant, or even for the race for presidential office. You might feel like your words to God are insignificant or doubt that he cares, but that's exactly the humble position you need to understand. That God is bigger than you. If you know that, if you believe that, and also believe that despite your faults God continues to love you wholly, that's when amazing things start happening for the Lord.
Amen.