I believe in being yourself. I believe that you should not be afraid of who you are and you should not care what others think of you. Although it took me a couple years to realize this, I am glad that I can be proud of who I am.
I had just turned fourteen years old when I started high school. Since there were almost 2000 kids in my high school, I was extremely apprehensive and did not want to make any bad impressions. I was careful about who I talked to, what I wore, and especially how I acted. I did not want to be associated with any “losers” and wanted to be accepted by the more popular crowd. Freshman year was especially hard on me because I was so cautious of my reputation. I felt like everybody was watching everything I did and that the pressure was destroying me.
There was one guy in a couple of my classes who I was especially careful around. He was your typical athlete-cocky as anything and proud of it. He was very successful in both soccer and golf and it definitely went to his head. He thought he was everything and would sit in class and make smart aleck remarks to the teachers. He would constantly put others down, too. He would pick on some of the more defenseless individuals just to get a good laugh from others. I would sit there and pick apart everything I said to him so I would not be the butt of his jokes.
By the time junior year came around, I was tired of being somebody who I was not at all. I met an amazing best friend, Kassie Miller, who was very individualistic and did not worry what everybody else said about her. I realized at this time that I needed to step away from the typical scene of my high school. I started buying some of the most peculiar clothes. I would wear clothes from the 1960’s and 1980’s and the looks I received were priceless. People noticed me more because I stood out. I also was not afraid to speak out to people and everybody respected me more because I was truly being myself. I was voted “Most Unique” my senior year in high school along with Kassie Miller.
I have grown a lot since my freshman year in high school. Not only am I older, but I am definitely more aware of who I am and I am not afraid to show people. I realized that just by wearing the most eccentric clothes, it gave me the esteem I needed to be myself. I am glad my senior class finally got a chance to meet ‘me’ and not a cookie cutter version of somebody else. It can be hard to redefine who you are and it can take a long time, but once you reach that point, you will never want to hold back again.
SO you might be wondering, where on earth did I find these wacky clothes I mentioned. Well, there is a little boutique close to where I'm from called Design Archives. I still have some dresses I bought from there, but I sold back all of the really crazy stuff I had. It's insane that there are some similar styles coming back now from the 80s, such as the leggings and hi-top shoes. But that's another story in itself...
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I was just like that, too. My freshman and sophomore years, I was careful about who I talked and associated with. Then one horrible day after someone made me cry towards the end of soph year, one of the people who I always thought of as a "nerd" came up to me and hugged me while I was crying. From then on, I realized that I was missing out on so many good people just because I was so careful with my image. I realized that the people I was trying to impress were rather rotten, and I stopped caring about who I talked to or who would see me without make-up outside of school and etc. And like you, junior year was when I changed.
I think back on it, and I'm like, "why did I do that?"
But at the same time, it's what helped me grow. I can't
regret any of it happening, you know? But I'm glad to know
I wasn't the only one! :]
-haley
two people being voted "most unique." On top of that the fact that "most unique" is something that can be voted on in high school. In fact just the phrase "most unique" is pretty silly.
I am glad that you found yourself though, and even happier that you liked what you found. Some people don't, and that can be a rough ride.
Res ipsa loquitur.
memento mori, mahalo.
"Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real-estate above principals."
Two of us were voted for it cause we tiiiied.
The senior class gets this list of different stuff to vote
for and they can choose not to vote for some categories.
It's really rare that people tie, but we did.
I'm glad, too, thanks! Hah. I took a class last semester
called Human Development and Family Studies and for my
age, it's almost never that people find themselves. You
go through so many obstacles, too. Of course I didn't get
down to some of the bigger details but it probably would
have helped my story some. But the class was so interesting
and I learned a lot about this topic in it.
-haley
All too often, peer pressure hits us with the 'need' to fit in. It is very encouraging to read something like this in a world that is so set on having toothpick thin women who have achieved nothing be the role mdoels for the girls of today. It makes me so sad to think that someday in the future, my daughter will look up to someone like Paris Hilton. Being 'cool' is overrated. A person can fit in without having the coolest technology or clothing.
Congratulations on being an inspiring individual. I hope more people will come to the same realization.
-K. Schmidt
I really, truly appreciate your comment. It's really nice to hear things like that.
& I agree about the role models: I was talking with a friend how today there's Britney Spears, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. And the cool thing now is rehab apparently and the ankle bracelet thing? And I guess drugs are in and prancing around in your panties. But you know I do like those DUIs.
I think Mandy Moore is so underrated and it's funny because she is the only popstar who comes to mind that hasn't done anything terrible.
le sigh.
-haley
I feel the same way as you do, in having to pick apart every single thing I say to people. It really is rather annoying, that we have to put on some sort of act for people, when we truly should be ourselves. I think you hit the problem exactly on the nose in this article and I applaud you for being able to overcome that part of your life.
I'm still in high school and I know that I will always be afraid of not fitting in exactly. I have found a group of friends who truly care about ME and not any fake persona I have to develop. I think with more support from them, I can let the rest of the school in on who I am.
=)
Well my dear, you must face obstacles. But they're so worth it. Once you can be yourself in front of everybody, it's so reassuring, so rewarding, and it's like you're fearless. I go to a school out of state and I can't even explain how much I love it. Being able to be myself was so crucial at that point in my life, and I'm very lucky to have figured myself out and open myself up to others before I went to college last year.
Best of luck to you! :]
-haley