my boyfriend is currently stationed in Indiana and is getting ready to be shipped over seas.
we broke up about 2 months before he left and i knew i would get that letter. the letter that said "katelyn im sorry i messed up big time."
well, the letter was late, so i got the phone call.
How it all started:
We started dating in November of 2006. everyone felt i was really young at the time but i kinda wear my heart on my sleeve a lot unfortunately. I fell in love with this boy. he took care of me when my parents weren't there and took me away from my two alcoholic parents and my pot smoking brother and his friends. he was my knight in shining armor, and he came at just the right time. we got really close really fast and i found myself spending everyday with him and not just by my choice, he would call and tell me he was on his way to get me on days i thought we wouldn't get to see each other. at the time, he lived at 64th street and Shea and i was on 23rd and Greenway, quite a distance if you ask me, but he drove it. almost everyday is what it seems like. late at night he would take me home and then go home and wake up at 4 to go to work. perfect was my word to describe him. Then something happened. I'm not really sure what it was, maybe fear of commitment because of his harsh childhood with an abusive mom, but i saw it coming. I guess i didn't see it coming but the day he broke up with me i felt that tensity in the air. i had a feeling it was coming and for some reason he didn't just come right out with it, instead he took me to get something to eat and then a movie and on the way home broke the news.
Then there was round two. a lot more of the getting closeness and he pretty much became en extension of me as i was of him. Well, a trip to Flagstaff changed all that. the one weekend my mom told me i couldn't go, he kissed another girl. I didn't even find out until his best friend told me while trying to slip in and take his spot.
Round three started with a random phone call and he wanted to go to starbucks to talk and be best friends since he didn't want to lose our relationship. well, it was obvious that neither of us had a friendship in mind, we talked about our hookups during the breakup and we were both hurt by it. we dated again.
When he found out he was becoming mobilized, we were still dating and were very set on staying together. a couple days went by and he was not so set on that anymore and felt maybe we should break up just while he was gone to ensure my freedom and for me to live my life to the fullest in my last 2 years of high school. i was ok for a while, but then he decided that even that wasn't enough, we should break up at that very moment because he didn't love me anymore. haha bullshit.
The phone call came. a couple weeks after talking to me and everything, he decided he wanted to get me a promise ring... he had it all planned out but his best friend never took me which is fine with me because i dont need a chunk of silver to promise anything. I still love him and i know i always will. i dream of the day he will come to the gate of the airport and i can run to him and put my arms around him like nothing even happened. 350 days left unless they extend his tour. i write letters and send pictures and i get to talk to him on a cell phone he bought about twice a week. i love my traveling soldier and i always will.
my traveling soldier
By katelynterry1 - Posted on March 18th, 2008
I liked that blog. It seems as though (like you stated) from his past he is confusing on staying committed, but at least you know that he won't be cheating on you in the military. I'm glad you are staying positive.
Something people should know about:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
He's using you.
You need to let go of your teenage love (infatuation) and realize this guy doesn't care for you a whit. If he did, his feelings wouldn't ebb and flow like the tide.
Find someone who respects you, and doesn't want you to be a puppy that he can manipulate and abandon at will.
I totally agree! You're so young and you will meet so many other guys. Choose one that treats you better!
She's right. A real true-love will love you at all times, even when you're apart.
Love is not something you just turn on and off, it doesn't come and go. When you really love someone you don't kiss another person. You don't break up at the first sign of trouble.
Don't be fooled by "first love". Most of us aren't luck enough to have our "first love" be our "true love".
I agree with EKB. This guy seems to be using you the exact same way my roomie's army boyfriend was using her. For over 2 years. She ended up dumping him for good and, to keep from falling back into him, deleted him from her phone (to keep herself from even texting him because she thought maybe they could be friends. no.) and changed her phone number. She had too because he kept calling to say how sorry he was and that he was going to change.
She got rid of everything that reminded her of him and it was incredibly painful for her, and she still hurts, but she is better for it and a lot happier.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
its nothing like that. he always loved me. he was scared, i mean thats natural for any human being. he might die over seas and having a girlfriend at home isn't exactly the safest thing to do. you know how many men over there get cheated on or broken up with in letters?
I've seen other people, I've been places, its not just some teenage love thing. no one compares to him and never will, whether he broke up with me for stupid reasons or not that doesn't mean i should just kick him to the curb.
I've experience plenty to know that I'd be better off with him then any other guy I've dated. And I'm not even gonna say that he's any better then them, my last boyfriend made me want to spend every day with him and it never got old. He told me things that made me feel appreciated and loved like i should be and i still feel safer,more loved,and a ton more appreciated with my soldier.
There is a huge chance that he can come home and feel that he isn't in love with me but I'm willing to take that chance and fight through the 350 days because he's worth it. what i could have with him is worth it.
Listen to yourself... you are so wrapped up in him being a soldier you barely know him as a person.
Don't be with him because he's in Iraq, or stay with him because he's a soldier. The people here are commenting not on his present actions, but on the ways you describe the past. This man is nothing but trouble; he's obviously got you thinking you can't break away because he's a soldier (what a guilt-trip, but not uncommon in the services). He wants to have his cake and eat it too... and you're just the young woman to give it to him.
Ditch this jerk and find yourself a real man.
So naive. I just broke up with "the love of my life" whom I started dating in 2006 as well. I was 16 he was almost 18. We were a grade apart, he went to college. A year later I went to the same college. Now I am single, I thought we were in love and I never saw this coming. I thought we would be together forever. It has only been a month and he did the whole wanting to be best friends thing too, but it just doesn't work that way. I told him two weeks ago that I don't want to be his friend, I want to be his girlfriend and that we couldn't talk until he figured out everything. Everyday I want to talk to him and it sucks. I felt the same way you do, he wasn't like any guy I had ever dated and he treated me wonderfully, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. Reality has been slapping me the last few weeks, and I am still down but I know I can't go back to somebody who doesn't appreciate me enough to stay with me in the first place.
Take my advice, stay away from this guy. He is using you and toying with your emotions and it isn't fair. We are too young to say that nobody else will ever be better, so as much as you think you can't be without him, you can. Just try and remember time heals all.
I'm not staying with him because he's a soldier. I'm staying with him because i love him. its as easy as that. It would actually be a lot better if he wasn't a soldier. I hate the fact that he ever signed up. I love him for him. For his sarcasm and his strength. Like i said, he became like an extension of me. He's like my other half. He understands because we have similar family backgrounds and he's there for me, even though he's thousands of miles away.
Come back and read this after he cheats on you, or breaks up with you again over something foolish.
Love doesn't mean you should be with him. I love my ex-boyfriend still and he was my other half as well. You can't sacrifice yourself and life just because you love somebody, you will love people other than him as much as you don't want to believe it.
oh I believe it. i know I'll love other people. and I'm definitely not sacrificing my life and my fun for him. I'm still having fun. I'm still living life to the fullest.
Well then you wouldn't be so upset as to write a blog would you?
where in this blog did you feel i was upset? I am in no way upset. if anything I'm upset that he signed up for the army but that doesn't mean i don't love him. I'll admit i am frustrated, i mean having to wait for him to get home really sucks but thats not stopping me from anything and the frustration will go away.
ill be sure to do that.
:-h
Please use the "reply" button when replying to others' comments. It keeps threads going and makes it a lot less confusing for outside readers, like me.
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You are the Voice of the Childwen of the Revowution! [Toulouse, Moulin Rouge]
Honestly, it sounds like you love him a lot because he was there for you in a bad situation. i felt that way about my first boyfriend. I was so desperate for companionship and so used to being treated like crap by my parents that anything short of abuse seemed like heaven. I ended up divorcing the guy two years later because he had a kid with someone else. I always wished that I could have listened to everyone that told me to rethink my situation.
My advice to you is to think about your situation objectively. We can't convince you that your relationship is good or bad- it's up to you to realize it yourself. Evaluate the pros and cons, and if you find yourself covering up one side or making up excuses, then you're probably being biased. Just approach it with an open mind.
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