Okay, I know that this isn't really the proper forum to discuss my personal problems....especially my relationship problems...so I promise, I'll try to expand on my topics so that it relates to more of human kind.
So, here's today's plan: Provide more details concerning my predicament (mostly the why), and provide commentary which others can relate to.
So, elaborating on my previous post, I went all "pity-party-of-one!" and after describing my wants, announced that I guess that's too much to ask for.
Here's why:
I was planning to invite my friend (Andrew) to be my prom date. (Emphasis on the was, because now I'm not so sure) But, naturally, there are several glitches in this plan. I'll just do one, and then apply it to society, and then I'll be done, I promise.
1. He's a sophmore, so he wasn't planning on asking a junior or senior girl to prom. He says he'll just wait until he's a senior.
The question is, is he saying that he just wants to wait until he's a senior in order to get everyone off his back? Does he really NOT want to go? After all, people don't say what they really mean. Therefore, perhaps instead of saying "I just don't feel like it", which will promote people to persuade him to go anyway, he says that he just wants to go his senior year. Though, just because I'm questioning his honesty, doesn't mean that he isn't being completely honest. Therefore, I shouldn't really rely on any of these assumptions that I'm making.
(Here's the expansion of this situation to all of society part) So! Why don't we say what we really mean? I did it just today....instead of telling my friend what I walked over to tell her...I was just like, "ohh, i'm fine...I'm kinda tired....nothing's new with me either..." What is holding me back? I think, that perhaps with me, at least in this specific situation, I think that it's fear. I'm afraid that she will be upset, or feel betrayed, and since I'm not sure how to say what I want to say, I don't say anything. Or, since I'm a little uneasy, I'm afraid she won't be completely honest with me.
Maybe, if I'm a little more open with them, it won't feel like drama or gossip or secrets or lies.
One more thing! Clearly, I am making things more complicated than they really are. Instead of just tackling the situation, I'm trying to make assumptions and guess what people are really thinking and feeling so that I won't get hurt...and that I don't hurt others in the process. And while, maybe that's a human reaction, it still doesn't feel right. While I'd love to just take a risk, I'm doubting myself. Maybe I'm just making it complicated on purpose so that I can worry to myself, but not feel guilty for not taking said risk.
Thank you for making it this far. I know I tend to write very lengthy posts....So I'm trying to keep it all succinct today.
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