The idea of putting my feet up on stirrups, exposing myself completely while a doctor pokes, prods, and touches all my little girly parts -- be it with a swab or something else -- makes me realize what being female means: the men lucked out.
I've never actually been to the gynecologist, so I can't say I know what the exam is like, but I learned more today than ever about what the exam entails -- it's so much more than I thought! Gurl.com says that a woman should start going to "the girly doctor" when she turns 18 or when she starts thinking seriously about having sex.
"Okay," I thought. "Sounds reasonable."
And I read on.
The website says, "You'll have to rest your feet in the stirrups (metal U-shapes) with your legs spread. This allows the doctor the right vantage point to see what needs to be seen."
"That sounds uncomfortable," I think. "But not too bad. The doctors see it everyday. No big deal."
I clicked to see the next page about the "fabulous speculum experience." I already know this part, so I am unfazed. Insert a little paragraph on the Pap smear, the swabbing the doctor does, what he or she tests for -- all those usual things. I already know all this, so again, I'm unfazed.
Then, the website tells me, "After the speculum is removed, the doctor will perform a bimanual vaginal exam, checking your internal organs with his or her hands. The doctor inserts one or two fingers into your vagina while putting his or her other hand on your lower abdomen. By feeling around and pressing with both hands, the doctor can assess the size, shape, and position of your uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes and check for swelling or growths... Sometimes a rectal exam is also performed. The physician will insert a finger into your rectum to feel the internal organs from a different angle."
I stop. I read again.
"The doctor sticks his hands into my what?! And he'll do what with his finger?!" I ask myself. "That can't be right."
So I read it a third time.
It's this idea that causes me to think that perhaps I'll put off that gynocology exam as long as I possibly can -- only for this reason. The other stuff isn't so bad, but "feeling around and pressing with both hands" sounds awkward, uncomfortable, and quite possibly painful (despite the fact that the website assures me that it's pain-free) and immediately turns me off to ever going to the gynocologist. Ever.
Men: you really lucked out. We get the periods, the pregnancy and childbirth, and we get those wonderful yearly exams. I'm entirely creeped out by the whole idea, frankly. With today's technology, you'd think we would have come up with a better exam by now!
Our STD tests=not so bad.
Male STD tests= Swab inserted into penis.
They don't have kids, they don't get stirruped, and they don't have periods to deal with, but I'll keep all of this in exchange for cute accessories, nail polish, being able to cry at movies without being humiliated, and not being made fun of for my crappy, butt-in-the-air pushups anyday!
But yeah, they suck. Try to find a good doc that takes his or her time (HER is usually better here) and it's not so bad.
Cheers!
http://progressiveu.org/blog/leslieq
Check it out...it's a work in progress.
Solution: don't get STDs. :]
Anyway, I'm not saying I don't want to be a woman. In fact, I love being a woman! I just don't love the crappy stuff that comes with it.
My mom wants me to go to our family doctor (a woman) but I refuse. It's my family doctor; I go to her when I have a cold or when I need a shot. I will not go to her for a Pap smear... My mom goes to some guy, and she feels comfortable with him and thinks he's amazing, but I won't go to a guy, either. I figure I might start looking within the next year or so. I'll have to go eventually, but I'm putting it off. (If cancer didn't run in my family, I probably wouldn't even bother!)
I'm really picky. Very self-conscious. I'm not fond of the idea of a doctor gazing at my most private parts.
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"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
"Male STD tests= Swab inserted into penis"
I don't know where you heard this, but any doctor will tell you that things don't go in the penis.... OUCH! Unless like a leach swims up there and they have to get it out.
The one thing that men really didn't luck out with is prostate exams. At least those don't start until we're pretty old, but I'd rather have your mamograms and gyno visits a hundred times before a prostate exam.
I refuse to get a mamogram, at least right now that's my stance. My breasts are sensitive anyway, the last thing I want is a freaking machine squishing them until I've lost all feeling!
I'll stick to my self-exams, even if they aren't 100% effective, thanks.
~ ~ ~
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
Women don't really need to have their first mammogram until they are 40 years old, unless there is a history of breast cancer in the family.
I hate going to doctors with a passion, but I still recognize the need to go and have preventative check-ups including gyno visits and mammograms to avoid serious long-term problems.
They may not seem necessary or important now, but its actually better if you have routine visits while you're in good health. It makes it a hell of a lot easier for your doctor to tell if something is wrong.
My family has a history of breast cancer, but I still don't want one. I'd rather have the gyno exam once a month than one breast exam ever. :[ I have really sensitive breasts, seriously. Putting a lot of pressure on them... kinda hurts, actually.
~ ~ ~
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
Yeah mammograms and gyno visits aren't that bad. I'd say yours probably sucks more.
Having a period is what makes me think men lucked out :-P
I know the experience sounds frightful and awful and uncomfortable, and it probably is, but it's your health you're dealing with, so push through and just do it. Try and get a female doctor, that'd probably be less akward for you.
I will. Eventually.
Keyword being eventually. :]
~ ~ ~
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
Actually, I have found the female gynos are not as gentle as males.
Guys routinely have fingers stuck up their bums as part of their prostate exam. I personally have never had one stuck up mine as part of a gynecological exam. As long as things feel ok from the other entryway, I don't think they normally do that. And the speculum is worse (in my opinion) than the bimanual exam. It doesn't hurt, there is some pressure when they push on you, but its not painful (well I've always had a clean bill of health, maybe it does if you have some wrong). If you have a good doctor, they will talk you through the whole thing and be really supportive.
Bottom line. Don't be afraid of these exams. Yeah they suck, but they're usually over pretty quickly and you only have to have them once a year. And its for your health. I'd rather have someone stick a finger in an inappropriate place once a year than have uterine or cervical cancer.
I've got some time, I'm only 17.
~ ~ ~
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
I didn't have my first exam until I was 22, but when I did have they found some benign cancer cells that needed to be removed. Just make sure you do go in within the next few years or so.
I'd have to say the upcoming gyno exam for me has freaked out. My mom is a veterinarian, and I've been around for surgeries on pets. Somehow it wasn't bad watching her neuter a dog...But watching a spay and a C-section was nauseating. The part where the (human) doctor sticks their hand up your parts sounds scarily like a vaginal stricture (a painful-sounding word!). A vaginal stricture is the manual way of inducing pregnancy by widening the vagina. I've only seen it performed it once, but it was a bad experience. Ugh. It's for good health, but...I feel too familiar with this to be comfortable. I might put it off a bit. Even though my mom's a vet and she's been vaccinated, she's giving me a choice about the vaccination to prevent cervical cancer, and I think I'm opting no because of expense, pain, and my plans for partners.
Cheers from Union Jane
"I have only ever made one prayer a very short one: "God, make my enemies ridiculous." And God made it so." --Voltaire
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt
My doctor told me to wait on the vaccination for cervical cancer. If you're not sexually active or if you've been in a monogamous relationship you don't really need it. (Its more or less for those females who don't make the best choices about their sexual activity) Plus, since its relatively new, they don't know all of the long-term effects. Oh and if you're over the age of 25 they won't give it to you.
She also told me that if you're not sexually active you don't absolutely need to have your first exam until you're 21. (Which I opted to do) But then it really becomes more about prevention of HPV, cancer, and other nasty things so its really important. And everyone gets freaked out their first time. But once you have one, its more or less just an unpleasant task to get done once a year like going to the dentist-you sit in an uncomfortable chair while someone pokes around inside you with their fingers and metal objects to check for disease :-)
My grandma had some bad cervical cancer -- my doctor didn't even mention to me that it was new enough that doctors weren't really sure about its long-term effects. I got all three shots of that damn vaccine and a month later, I was reading an article and it said something like, "But whether or not the vaccine causes cancer, doctors aren't sure." Something to that effect.
I don't think I can look at a dentist the same way again anymore, haha!
~ ~ ~
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
Those were the days. I went to my family doctor for my first one. He knew I was nervous, so he told a story about the HIS first gyno exam, when he was a resident. A woman was on the table, scooted all the way to the end,as she should be, and everything was going fine. Then he inserted the duck lips (speculum), and they were so cold the woman shrieked and sat bolt upright, and since she was at the edge of the table, she fell right into his lap!
He heats the duck lips now!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Hahahaha!!!
Amazing! I guess since my doc's a woman she knew that heating them was necessary...
:-D
That has got to be the funniest story I've heard in a long time! That's great!
Thanks for sharing!! :D
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"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
Now, if he managed to get every other doctor to do the same.
============
http://progressiveu.org/203912-yo-deseo-i-wish
(Latest blog. )
The Dr. I saw was my cousin's gyno..so i trusted him. I told him i was a virgin (because i've never had sex with a man...and i assumed thats what he meant, correct me if i'm wrong) so he did one of the lesser exams, the pelvic exam. I guess that the difference is that the speculum is smaller..but it looked the same to me. Getting to the awkward part..when the doctor went in, he took samples of whatever it is thats in there and told me to sniff it.... He even held it up with his finger im like What The F***. He told me that the secretion is natural and i should know what it smells like.
I'm never going back to him.
Except to pay the co-pay that i still haven't paid because i was too busy rushing out of his office.
"Prefiero morir parada que vivir la vida en mis rodillas"
...that's weird. lol
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"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
You don't need a gyno exam until you turn 21 or three years after your first experience with intercourse, whichever comes first. I'm lucky and get mine right after I graduate in May/June. Yay.
~C
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3 years after your first experience with intercourse? That sounds like a long time. I thought most doctors recommend that you actually get your first before you decide to become sexually active so that you can get birth control and practice safe sex.
*shrugs* that's what the PA told me when I went in last month to get my birth control renewed. I thought it was a little long too, but it doesn't affect me one way or the other. I just have to get mine before my insurance runs out.
~C
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Yes, a friend of mine told me last night that you have three years after your first time before you have to see the gyno. Not so bad. :]
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"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
I wish we could all be in the same room for our girl chat. I laughed harder just now than any other time on ProU. At first, each part of my body hurt as the examinations were described until I felt numb. I'm freaking terrified of exams. I had some gyno troubles when I started having way to much pain in my pelvis and lower back. I had several exams in my late teens that left me mortified. I had the speculum-bimanual-finger up butt combo once. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. All this sucked terribly, but I had to do it to make sure I was ok. The doctors were undecided whether or not I had endometriosis. So, you just have to do it nomatter how bad it is. You won't die because of the exam even though I thought I would the majority of the time. And for heaven's sake RELAX. I could never relax, so it made everything 100 times worse.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
Haha, I was trying to go for a somewhat less serious approach than one might expect from a blog about a Pap smear. :]
I figure I'll have to go eventually... I just doubt the experience will leave me with much of a smile -- especially since I'm so self-conscious of everything. I didn't talk for three days when my pediatrician felt me up during a physical when I was 10 because I was so weirded out by the whole experience. I can't wait to see how I feel after my gyney not only gazes into my vagina, but sticks his hands and who knows what else into it. Poor thing.
Reminds me of one of the monologues from The Vagina Monologues entitled "The Angry Vagina." (If you haven't seen the V-Monologues, do it next year!! It was an amazing experience.)
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
I made the mortifying mistake of wearing one of those stupid 80's body suit get ups that could only be pulled down off my shoulders and down to my waist. I laid there on the table with my mom watching! Do they think 10 year old girls will skip away unscathed? :) I seriously wish we could at least have a giant conference call of this.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
Haha, that'd be awesome!
And as for getting felt up -- I was soo pissed. My mom left the room so I could get on one of those papery gowns and I laid on the table while my (extremely creepy male) pediatrician stuck his hands under my gown and RIGHT onto my chestal area. Then, he decided he'd have a peek at what was in my underwear -- I never did quite find out why... That was actually one of the last times I went to him. It was a very strange experience for me.
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
I guess I got lucky then. I had a female pediatrician, so it wasn't quite as weird when she did my breast exam.
~C
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And not only was my pediatrician male, but he was creepy. Like, almost child molester creepy now that I think about it -- but it could just be my traumatic memory from the whole thing that makes me think that about him now. He wasn't a bad guy; I was just weirded out by the whole experience.
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
I was feeling a little dramatic last night. (Oh, my night here in China since I'm trying to pull myself away from ProU and go to bed when you may be eating lunch. Now, I'm eating breakfast!) I just wish someone would have prepared me for what would happen. I just remember being so surprised and confused. I understand checking young girls out since it really is never too early to make sure everything's ok. You've got to know you're ok.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
I agree. I wish I hadn't been completely blind-sided by the whole thing. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't been so incredibly creepy. >.>
China!! I really want to go there someday. :]
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer