Happy Father's Day!
This is a special day to celebrate fathers all over the world. However, here in Japan, Father's Day is a bit different than it was in the states.
Sure, I've had my issues with my own father throughout the years. He was a bit of an absentee father in various points of my childhood, but I still have to give him some thanks for the sacrifices he made for me and the rest of my family. Every year on this day, I put our differences behind us, and thank my father for the things he has done for me.
Here in Japan, it's not that easy. My students are encouraged to write letters to their father. Out of over 80 students, only five wrote letters. I was shocked. When I asked them about it, they said they were "embarrassed" to thank their fathers. In this culture, it is unheard of to say things like "I love you," or "thanks for everything" to a parent. Yet, my students couldn't tell me why. It's just been grilled into them that it's the way it is.
To me it's sad that my students will thank me for giving them the liver off my plate at lunch (can't stand that stuff), but they won't say thanks to their parents who have given them everything. I love Japan and I completely respect the culture. However, I hope that one day the giant rift between parents and children is bridged and they can learn to express how they truly appreciate each other.
That's too bad that they feel that way about expressing their feelings. I guess in this culture we tend to focus more on feelings than in other places in the world. I realize that many in America also have problems saying "I love you" but with the popularity of therapy, which encourages us to talk about our feelings I am sure the number of students here who cannot say "I love you" is dramatically different. Maybe since so much of our music and fashion rubs off in the Eastern world, perhaps our ability to share in positive feelings for each other will move over there as well....
I hope so!!
I never liked to write letters and stuff like that, but I didn't have a good relationship with my parents. I think that more countries are starting to be more emotional once they see that we are like that, so maybe it will spread to Japan! It can start with you.
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