I feel like I've become traped in an image of myself. I feel like I am sometimes not able to do certain things but those things are 'not what i normally do.'
One example of this is in the type of cloths I wear. The image of me most people know is of a lay back girl who simply throws on a pair of jeans and a shirt every morning. Which at one point in my life was mostly true. But I've changed since then. Yes some morning I roll out of bed and throw on whatever comfortable and convinient. But just as often I take care to put on an outtif I think is cute. However when I do this, when I dress up in cuter cloths, I get so self consious its almost more than I can bear. What will people think of this different me?
Dealing with comments like "wow I'd never think you'd wear that," or "that is so un-you," gets difficult. This goes for more than just the cloths I wear. It applies to the music I listen to, the activities I enjoy, even the people I talk to. The worst part is all too often I find myself giving in. I wont do this things I enjoy becaue I dont what to have to deal the insecurity and comments. This has become something that has too much power over me. Hopefully I'll have the courage to break out and show the world that these things I do dont change who I am. Im still me, just with a few extra flavors.
am i scared?
By glacier_sky86 - Posted on March 25th, 2008
Hey nice blog . . . in highschool i was the all-time biggest preppy jock ever! haha and now in college my style is way more emo and goth . . . All my friends and everyone said things like "Oh my god sean" . . . "what are you doing" . . . Why are you all emo" . . . and i hated it and went back to being that preppy kid . . . but not for long i got tired of not being me and what i wanted to do and said screw it and just blew everyone off . . . and now all my friends except it and think its cool . . . HAHA i actually got my best friend dressing emo HAHAH! :) mwah have a great day
I know how you feel. People learn to expect something from you just when you're starting to change. And then all the comments make you afraid to truly be yourself.
But you can't let it take over your life. I've been there, and it's not fun. If someone makes a comment like, "That is so un-you," tell them that people change. No one stays the same forever, and if our interests never changed, we'd get to be boring people pretty darn quickly.
I think your best bet is to just go for it. With the clothing thing, I'm at that exact stage myself. I've always just thrown on whatever, regardless of if it matched or not, but smore and more often I'm finding myself actually putting some thought into what I wear. I've gotten comments like you have, but you know what? It's worth it in the long run. When you're free to be yourself, changes and all, it takes a load off your shoulders and makes you a bit more confident in yourself. All you have to do is take the first step and decide that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, because on the inside, you're still you. And what really makes you who you are, what makes you one-of-a-kind, that'll always be there, no matter how much your tastes in clothing, music, etcetera change.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.