calling me pretty
saying I'm precious
but you dont know that I'm too dangerous
to take home to mother
there ain't no other
girl that can change your life
coming from a different time
I walk the line
between innocent and sexy
can't get me in the back seat with you texting
your friends of the piece you'll be hitting tonight
I don't do that with my girls
you should know that ain't right
so I'll bat my eyes and play with curls
and tell only one thing to my set of girls
to stay away and careful with their men
who think that when I'm not lookin'
will be calling me pretty
saying that I'm precious
but they don't know that I'm too dangerous
dont want to ruin their lives
with their soon to be wives
can't start with any lies
'cause this girl can change there lives
so I'm walking in the park
it's clear after dark
i get the howls and the looks
but i stick to my book
can't be two timing my man
even though i can
have anyone but there's only one
who can have my heart
don't need to jump the gun
we will never part
he don't need to be pretty
he's already my precious
together combined we both be dangerous
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This was a great poem!
Good job!
Read my blog!
http://www.progressiveu.org/090204-dont-miss-this-chance
I really liked your poem in the beginning. I just felt like you were confused with your stance. First you want to be dangerous and ignore men and ruin their lives (which I don't negate), but then you say that you will never cheat on a guy and together a guy and girl can both be dangerous. I think the conclusion is confusing there.
DISCLAIMER: I am not being rude. I'm stating my opinion. No personal attacks are meant. Please give some leniency on how you take my words. imagine me saying them with a smile. ^__^
While I agree with Alenka about the confusion factor, I like that your poetry is unedited and uncensored. It is honest and heartfelt, everything that poetry should be. Well done!
"If imperfections are what make us beautiful, then I must be a total babe!"
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/missionsminded-maiden
I disagree.
Poetry should have some sort of structure and rationality. Otherwise, there's no truth and it's senseless to the reader; there's no point in sharing if it's only a personal poem created for the writer.