Throughout time many people have questioned the idea of getting something back that you have once lost. There are those who believe it can be regained and other think that once it is gone it will not come back. For me, I honestly do not know which side I agree with more. I really hope that is something lost can be brought back, even if it can take a while.
The reason why I am writing this is because I feel like I lost something and I am afraid that I will not be able to get it back, or I am not sure how I can. I'm mainly writing for opinions but even more, advice. The thing that I feel like I "lost" is my confidence in myself and self-esteem. I guess you can say they're almost the same thing. For a while now I feel like I do not have self-esteem like I had once before. I'm not even sure what happened to make me "lose" it. I feel horrible all of the time about something I have done, and I just take it to heart when I hurt someone around me or if they hurt me. I always think that it's my fault and that I am always doing something wrong. I used to never think this way before. Whenever I did not do anything wrong I never blamed myself, and now it seems like I am blaming myself even when I know it is not my fault. I just feel like I can never do anything good anymore and that everything that I do is never good enough for anyone. I guess hearing bad stuff about myself often does not help me be happy with myself. For instance, my parents are always saying how rude I am and how lazy I am. Truth is I am neither, but I'm starting to believe they're right because I hear it so much. I think that since I hear it so much, it must be true. But I know that deep down I have a good heart and I'm not a rude person at all. I just need to know a way to not let a person's words affect me, even though it seems impossible to me. I just do not want this to really hurt me deep down and eventually bad enough that I will not be able to gain self confidence or anything ever.
Some things you can get back, and some you cannot. For instance, one cannot regain their innocence. Lucky for you, you can absolutely regain your confidence and self-esteme. Try and think about everything you like about your self-- are you smart, funny, nice? Maybe you should try talking to a professional, like your school's councelor.
You believe what your paents are saying because you are not fully confident that you arent lazy or rude.
People can talk about me all day long...but I am so confident in everything I believe in and everythign that I am, that what people say won't change my mind. The person that knows yourlsef the best is you. So you should know if you're lazy and rude. And if you honeslty dont think that you are, then hold onto that. Don't let anyone tell you who you are. You know it.
If it's at all possible to get together with a friend and be roommates if you are living with your parents, this may help. Sometimes you need to take time away from people, especially judgemental or mean people. Just limit your time around them and try to spend more time with people that are positive and happy-go-lucky people. It rubs off. I've been writing a blog about labels, and I'm in a situation where I've have been feeling the same way you are. I'm digging myself out too after some big problems and I think I may have written some things that might help you too.
Peace.