A friend forwarded a link last week to "My Beloved's Garden," a Christian sex toy store. I, of course, clicked the link, because I wanted to know what separates Christian sex toys from regular old heathen sex toys. I will not provide the link here, as I know there are several users under eighteen on ProU. You'll have to do the research yourself if you are curious.
My research suggests that there is, in fact, very little difference. Aside from repeated disclaimers stating that there are no pornographic images on the site (and bad web design), MBG looks very much like The Smitten Kitten or Good Vibrations, both women-owned stores. They all sell dildos, vibrators, lube, lingerie, and other assorted implements. My Beloved's Garden uses the word "spouse," rather than "partner," and airbrushes out the belly buttons of the women modeling the lingerie (note that they do not brush out the belly buttons of men sporting several styles of thong). But that's pretty much it. That and the fact that half the products are made of undisclosed materials.
That leads me to a short digression for a safety PSA. Always, always buy silicone sex toys. It's the only material that can be cleaned properly and that doesn't off-gas dangerous chemicals. You are going to put that where? Yeah. So make sure it won't hurt you first. Regardless of your religious orientation, I have to recommend The Smitten Kitten, who refuses to sell anything but silicone dildos. End of digression.
One prominent feature of My Beloved's Garden is the Q&A link, which answers questions about whether certain acts are biblical or not. The hosts of the site have many biblical justifications for all manner of sex act, including BDSM, anal sex, watersports, and role play. The Q&A page has a sidebar that reads, "Got Jesus? Please Donate!"
This has my brain reeling! Does the addition of a few Bible verses make something Christian? So, I am asking the Christians out there, is this stuff okay? And if it is alright for a Christian to use sex toys and engage in BDSM, why is it gross and sinful for other people? I'm sure there will be a variety of opinions on the subject, and I am interested in the full range.
If you are under eighteen and get busted investigating these sites, 1.) don't say I didn't warn you, and 2.) maybe you could tell your mom it's homework for Sunday school?
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
I found that statement (I added the bold) and I'm pretty damn amused.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
It's true!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I also did some link following for light reading, you know, just brushing up on whether or not anal sex was allowed as per the bible (according to this source, it can cause damage and is not recommended, but you can go right ahead), and I came across this diagram:
My case for this in the likely chance you call the above Porn:
It's a learning diagram used on a Christian website to describe the phenomenon of female ejaculation. If you're aroused by the cartoon, you've got bigger things to be worried about.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Lovin' the title change.
I really love that diagram.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
That's brilliant!
It's like Hebrew Ham Incorporated. (no, it doesn't exist, but it should)
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
sounds like the catering company to a Mel Brooks film ;-)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
Ironically enough, it's owned my Mel Gibson.
LINK
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
lol
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
Will SOMEONE please respond with something other than laughter? It is a very serious issue. Perhaps the most pressing issue of our time. Especially in an election year. I want to know where the candidates stand on sex toys, heathen and otherwise.
Straighten up, people!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Dildos are now legal in Texas, but not in Alabama.
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
I heard on NPR he sold HHI to Borat Sagdiev.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
Oh wow.
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~Fallon~
“What is insanity, anyway? Is it when you scream and everyone else whispers, or is it when you fight for what's right, even when everyone else thinks your wrong?” Ethergoth
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Forgot about that....
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
I pose a serious question, and what do I get? 24 rofl's.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
lol
Well, you know, so far you're Christianless in the responses. So, yeah, how could any of us comment.
But, no, to the best of my knowledge, sex toys aren't condoned in the bible...
I don't think that they're specifically banned, but....
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
Personally, I'm waiting to see the sex toy created during the era of bible writing before I pass judgment.
"Holy Mary mother of God! You want to put that where?!" is about as biblical as I can see it getting and methinks that may not be a good thing.
-----
~Fallon~
“What is insanity, anyway? Is it when you scream and everyone else whispers, or is it when you fight for what's right, even when everyone else thinks your wrong?” Ethergoth
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But wow, that was funny!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
That is the most random thing I've read today
Thank you for the knowledge
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/hugogirl46
Always happy to oblige! My range of useless knowledge is staggering. There will be more randomness.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I'm so happy to hear that! No knowledge is really useless as long as it is interesting, because interesting knowledge creates passion for a subject and further study of it and the issues relating to it.
....that totally wasn't meant to be a serious comment D:
Regardless of my opinions on sex toys, saying it's ok to market them because they are "Christian" while claiming the non-Christian ones are sinful is hypocritical.
Even Jesus didn't approve of hypocrites, from what I've read--of course I'm Catholic and don't read the Bible :-P
You are no longer Christianless in responses.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
Does the lack of Christian responses (aside from yours, of course) answer my question? Maybe the hosts of the site are just a couple of wolves in sheep's clothing? Maybe they all (except you, of course) know better than to click on a post that says sex?
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Silence is agreement. :-)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
a. Does the site actually claim non-Christian sex toys are sinful?
b. Why don't you read the bible? *confused, probably not getting something obvious*
---------------------------------------------------
Please see my recent blog post, "Genocide and Student Activism": http://www.progressiveu.org/041447-genocide-and-student-activism
I would imagine because it's written in a dead language...
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
English, complete with proper grammar?
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
Ah. When did the Catholic Church stop using latin?
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
I want to come up with a witty reply involving Indiana Jones and the Arc of the Covenant, but I also want to say it was 1965 when the Second Vatican Council opted to icrease active participation by having liturgies in the congregations' native tongues, rather than Latin.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
So, are you trying to tell me that Dr. Jones wasn't at the Second Vatican Council?
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
that was one of the days the students showed up to class to find the following note:
"sorry kids. class is cancelled today because I'm off incinerating Nazis with the Arc of the Covenant.
Someday, I promise, we will actually have class.
Dr. Jones"
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
I was perpetuating a stereotype. It is a common belief, so it seems, that we Catholics worship Mary, worship idols, and never read the Bible. After so many years of arguing against these claims, I eventually gave up and just started making jokes about it.
example:
q. Why do you guys worship Mary?
a. Oh, we don't. We just like to offer up our first born children as human sacrifices under the light of the full moon.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
lol
Well, in addition to eating Christian babies, I run around doing whatever strike my fancy (which always happens to be highly immoral) since I have no fear of eternal consequences.
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
I ate meat on Friday.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
Catholic guilt kind of just encompasses everything so there's no real need to feel shame over anything specific.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
my second grade teacher found out that I was/am Catholic one day around advent and told me that I was a devil loving idol worshipper. She didn't have the job for much longer....i still laugh at her. : >
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i am who i am, no excuses, but i would like people to know that there is a lot more to me than just that girl they pass in the hallway without a fleeting glance
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/randomness-0
lol. Did you sacrifice her to your shadowy master?
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
No, no, no, no, no! It's us Pagans that sacrifice our first-borns! Don't take that from us, too!
Damn Catholics, always taking our traditions.
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
This is a interesting thing. Christians getting freaky with their enlightened selves. I actually heard some gossip about a group of young christians that had some sort of youth group. As it turns out, and this IS hear say, these young people were participating in mass amouts of group sex in a basment of the meeting place they had.
I would do further research but unfortunatly I'm at work and fear trying to search for christian group sex on the computer, but if anyone is feeling up to it (and wants to navigate past all the porn to find it) it would be interesting to hear their reasoning behind these sexual escapades.
It seems that christians are not so above there desires that they will try to find loop holes in their scripture that will allow them to participate in these seemingly "sinful" activities. I mean BDSM... there has to be a commandment saying "thou shalt not wear a rubber ball starped to your mouth while your spouse whips your ass with a TV antenna".
I do seem to remember a part of the bible where a woman was going to be stoned for "taking the image of a man into herself..." or something along those lines. I don't know how it ended for the lady but I think it was one of those "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Wouldn't it be funny if jesus hucked one after saying that.
Anyway, I cant say for sure if your married and only you and your spouse participate in the activities that those activities are sinful, but I havn't ever heard of god saying "thou shalt not be kinky," so it sounds fine to me.
locke
P.S. I know silicon is the safest but arn't some people allergic? Is there another material that is as safe or not so bad. You see I'm asking because I have this friend...
; )
I'd go for plastic if you've got a silicone allergy; like clear hard seem-less plastic. It's somewhat more porous, though, so there's going to be a not-as-smooth quality about it. For all intents are purposes, I don't think you can be allergic to plastic and it's probably fine to stick the thing in the dishwasher...So...safe, not so bad,
?
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
You know after I posted that I was thinking glass. You can warm it up, cool it down, stick it anywhere, and... you can make it look down right pretty.
But if the glass is poorly made, think about what'll happen if it broke during use...
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
Most are Pyrex, so they're pretty safe. And dishwasher safe.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Pyrex would probably be fine then. But glass glass? Man, that would be problematic.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
No, it would have to be solid glass. It's not like your going to stick a porcelain figurine where ever you stick things, Nick. I'm talking a solid hunk of glass.
...
1) Straight male who has no intention of finding out what it's like to have anything shoved through any orifice. :-P
2) I figured. But, you'd want the glass to be tempered and if it ever chipped, it'd be worthless.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
If it's battery operated, you probably don't want to put it in water...
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
Want the highest rated list to change? RATE those blogs, then!
There are some battery operated toys that are waterproof, to a degree. I happen to have just bought one (long story involving a 16 year old girl. Long story short - she didn't want to try and buy one for herself so she made me buy it for her).
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My Creative Writing
The electronic parts that would be exposed to the water usually come out.
Just FYI....
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Interesting. And funny, yes, but you wanted a serious reply, so:
What's the problem? Some Christians are silly people. Others might not want to stumble across porn on adult sites, so they prefer to go to a "cleaner" site like that Christian one. It sounds like the site is attempting to slowly and gently reconcile Christian beliefs with healthy sexuality, by approaching Christians using their own faith and not actually contradicting their major beliefs.
What I don't get is the problem with belly buttons.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
They ban midriffs in my school my senior year. What's wrong with a little button.
What I don't get is how bad the Photoshopping is done to "edit" the pictures. They're horrid!
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
That is a special honor, on this thread.
And now I've messed up the comment count by posting this (we're now at 70, for those who don't math), but I had to give you your due! Congrats! Your dildo's in the mail.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I've seen that site as well, but went to check it out again (it never fails to amuse me). I clicked on the "site map" and was scanning the list of pages and one caught my eye - "How to change your spouse!" How to change your spouse? Like, change their clothes? Get a new one, much like you would change your tires? Turns out it's merely an article (with grammatical mistakes even I could pick up on) that describes how to get your reluctant, in-a-rut, conservative spouse to open up to new ideas to "enhance" your marriage.
as opposed to non-Christian sex...
I have no idea what took a group of Christians (if they are actually Christians, I mean they are talking about s-e-x...) so freaking long to admit that they do all of the things that the rest of the world does with their sex partner. Seriously. Like we should be ashamed of it?? No one else in the Bible was, all that "begot-ing" that went on. Before anyone was "begot" there had to be some action. Anyway, that's pretty funny. Now the more open Christians can introduce this fun to the more conservatives of the religion by saying something like, "What? It's a Christian store!! It's basically just like the Christian Book Store..." or something. So now it must be officially "Christian" to buy a dildo. :) My mom will be thrilled!!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kariskoett
Christians talk about sex all the time. Shoot we might talk about it more because some of have to wait so long for it.LOL Just because they are talking about sex doesn't mean they aren't Christians they are just really freaky.HEHEHE Christians are human we have a flesh so basically the same things you feel down there we do too. I dont think Christians deny their sexual feelings per say. I mean some Christians only get married to have sex so that way it won't be a sin.
Bye You!
It's a learning diagram used on a Christian website to describe the phenomenon of female ejaculation. If you're aroused by the cartoon, you've got bigger things to be worried about.
anyway, i think anal sex is wrong, according to the bible or not. its sick. and BDSM? probably.
so I'm not arguing pro or con, but I'm curious as to your reasoning?
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
^Same here. By wrong, do you mean morally wrong, physicall wrong, or just not a smart thing to do?
F*** Religion. Read more here:
http://www.progressiveu.org/020528-f-religion
And encouraged it:
"Be Fruitful and multiply"
Where do you think all of those little Christians come from?
---
But on to serious answers to the questions:
"Does the addition of a few Bible verses make something Christian?"
Not always, but if the verses are apropriate then they might establish a relation to Christ.
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"is this stuff okay?"
Yes, why wouldn't it be?
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"And if it is alright for a Christian to use sex toys and engage in BDSM, why is it gross and sinful for other people?"
Is it 'gross' from a Christian perspective? I don't think anything Jesus had to say about BSDM or sex toys made it past the centuries of censorship since. It might be more to the point to ask why you think it is unChristian. It isn't to hard to find a prudish Christian, but since 83% of Americans Identify themselves as Christian it is safe to assume that most spending on Sex toys, Pornography, and even Prostitution comes from that 5 of 6 part of the population. Of that activity I only see Adultery or Fornication applying to the prostitution. It appears clear to me that all of those biblical prohibitions apply to acts that are harmful to yourself, or others. Jesus made clear that the 'law of God' was made to benefit man, not deny us. BSDM is certainly an area with potential for going past fun, and into harm.
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"maybe you could tell your mom it's homework for Sunday school?"
LOL! Just have your bible open to the song of solomon.
---
Thinking that Christians are less sexual than other people is an interesting stereotype. It kind of reminds me of ones like Black people being stupid, but with great rythym. Or how Gay people are more likely to be pedophiles trying to recruit kids. I'm sure only 'those people' being stereotyped are ever offended so it's OK?
A Fact is Always Better Than an Ideal.
I suppose it is kind of a stereotype, but my experience in Christian schools and in my church only reinforce the stereotype. According to my health class junior year, those little Christians come from God! ;)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
wow this is... wow.
i actually felt the need to find that link just to laugh some more.
nice blog.
Finally a Christian response. I got curious and went on the site and the toys look exactly the same. I personally don't know if sex toys are against the Bible but while looking at the site I saw no difference in the toys that I have seen in the stores. I mean I personally (this is my opinion not the opinion of the Christian religion) think that maybe some of the toys would be considered to be out there. Like the dildos. I read the Q&A part and it was interesting. Anywho I mean when I saw Christian sex toys I thought of something totally different than what I saw. So to sum it up if the toys you may use is the same as they are promoting then by all means go for it. Maybe they feel like if you are married its okay. You know what I mean? I feel like if they don't mean that then they make it seem like Christians are being hypocritical when it comes to stuff like this. You know like if they are just saying if you are Christian married or not order from this site. If they are then I definitely wouldn't agree because that's being wishy-washy.
Hopefully more Christians respond because I would also like to know how they feel.
Bye!
)
"Hello, enjoyed visiting your site, but would suggest you blur some of the pics a little more. The product listings that show couples engaged in sexual activity are not blurred enough. There is still plenty of visual there to entertain thoughts that may not be wholesome. Please consider blurring this pics even more to allow more appropriate shopping. Also, please consider using mannequins or just the article itself in the lingerie section instead of live models. Thank you for your consideration in preserving the sanctity of marriage."
The sanctity of marriage is apparently threatened by unblurred images of sex. Maybe this is the case with belly buttons as well.
"You guys have a great site! Thank-you for your ministry. I'm sure you've helped lots of couples maintain oneness in their marriage."
Hmm, so these toys are helping others to maintain oneness? It seems a little corrupted to me to seek sex toys because you want to go somewhere else but can't.
Another quote that may explain the whole belly button thing:
"There are certain parts of the body that emit a lot of these sexual pheromones. The underarms, the genitals and the aureolas of men and women, and the navel of women are the "biggies." When these parts of the body are covered with clothes, most of the pheromones are captured by the clothes; when we are naked the quantity of pheromones reaching others rises significantly. So, being nude means you are sending a lot stronger sexual signals to those you are with."
Maybe they just want to promote an image of a covered belly button, so that pheremones won't escape into the rest of the world.
A take on role playing:
"Since God cares about our thoughts, not just our actions, there must be a line in this that we should not cross, but where is that line? A safe way to approach this is to say it's wrong to fantasize or act out anything it would be wrong to actually do. This means you must always play yourselves, not a real movie star or someone you know. It also means you must be married in the fantasy.
However, we do not think this means you must limit yourself to things you might actually be able to do. If you want to pretend it's several hundred years ago and you are a ship captain and a damsel saved from pirates, go for it (you got married at the nearest port). Or maybe you are husband and wife on a spaceship, exploring the bounds of the universe and the bounds of weightless sex."
I just thought this was hilarious.
And finally, from how to turn on your husband:
"Flash a breast at him at a stop light."
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cheers!
F*** Religion. Read more here:
http://www.progressiveu.org/020528-f-religion
This is at least the third time I've looked at this post and it's comments, and after seeing your complaint I was trying to resist saying this, but
"Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."
You are officially an asshat.
Wait...does that count as a personal attack?
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I could officially edit you, but mods aren't allowed to edited conversations they're involved in, so I'll just say "that's not a very nice thing to say, I need you to use nice words if you're going to talk to me" in a mock scolding a five year old for using potty words voice.
"Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."
I make the five-year-old go into the bathroom when he uses potty words. "Um, excuse me...where do we talk about ass?"
(dejected) "In the bathroom."
*heads into bathroom to say 'asshat' over and over*
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
My little sister says "it's funny, but it's not that funny" but I can't stop laughing. I would try that with my preschool class, but I'd probably end up with half the class in the bathroom saying "butt," "penis," and "poop."
"Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."