I was watching Dr. Phil and I became livid at the dead beat on the screen. It was a guy who was intimate with his girlfriend. She told him that she could not get pregnant, so he stopped using condoms. Only to find out that she was pregnant. He is now going to court saying that he should have legal rights, just like women. He said that women have the right to either keep the baby or have an abortion. He said that men should have that same choice. He said that he is not ready for that responsibility and he told her that, so he should not be obligated to do anything. He does acknowledge the fact that it is his child, but says he wants nothing to do with her. By the way, the woman is seeking child support.
This debate totallly pissed me off. What makes him any different than any other dead beat? It's simple... he stopped using protection and now he has a child that he doesn't want to take care of. Sounds like a dead beat to me. He had a choice in the beginning- condom or no condom. He chose to take it off, now he should be made to deal with the consequences.
From Dr. Phil
Roe v. Wade for Men
Matt was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, even though he told her he didn't want to be a father, and she said she couldn't get pregnant. He filed a lawsuit seeking legal rights for men when it comes to having kids
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I hope everyone laughed at him and he went home with a tail between his legs.
How stupid. Wear the condom. Did she show him medical records saying she couldn't get pregnant? Who just takes someone's word for it on something as big as that? Guess what buddy. You're stuck with a kid. Too bad he can't accept the child as a miracle instead of shunning it.
I do feel sorry for the kid that is stuck with a father like that.
The guy is merely asking for post-conception rights equal to what that the woman has. Anything less is unconstitutional under the equal protection clause, so it seems to me he's got a good case.
Post-conception, the guy has NO reproductive rights. None. Nada. Just pay money, whether he intended to become a parent or not. The woman, on the other can avoid the responsibilities of becoming a parent post-conception in the following ways:
Abort
Adopt out
Drop off anonymously ("safe haven" laws)
She also has the choice of raising the baby herself with a monthly stipend from the unwilling father -- that's the route she's taking.
Call her a "courageous mom" going it alone if you want, but I say SHE's the deadbeat -- for deciding unilaterally to bring a child into the world when she was well aware the child would not have the support of a willing, involved father. Single-by-choice moms are not heroes -- they need to be stigmatized as "deadbeats" so fewer kids are born into fatherless homes. Like Chris Rock said -- "just because you can raise a child without a man doesn't make it a good idea."
This guy is taking a stand for all men who would like a some legal say -- post-conception -- when it comes to the life-altering decision of whether or not to become a parent.
Let the flaming begin!!
I understand the other point of view, but the fact of the matter is, if he was so concerned about his rights and his choice, he gave up that option when HE decided not to use a condom. Also, if women had to wait on a man to decide to be a father, possibly you and many others may not be here right now. You damn right single moms are heroes. My mother was a single mom, and she didn't need the support of a deadbeat. I was still blessed with maybe even a little more than those with both parents. If a woman had to abort a child every time a man didn't want to be responsible, I wouldn't be here and thousands of others wouldn't be here, either It is in the best interest of a child to have both parents around, but it is not necessary. It goes the same with adoption. Many single women adopt, so is it wrong for them to adopt just because they're not married? Let's face it, we're in a day in age where there are more and more single parent homes, whether it be by choice or through divorce. It's just goes back to the saying, Mommas baby, daddy's maybe. You don't need a man to raise a healthy, smart child. And yes I was a single mom and now I am married with 3 children. So, I have experienced both situations and I'm not just talking. This is first hand experience. My oldest son's father was a deadbeat. He claimed he wanted the baby, but when we broke up, he did nothing. And no I did not seek child support. I felt like if he didn't want to do it I wasn't going to make him. I wanted my son to see first hand what a deadbeat his dad was. I never talked bad about him, but I wanted my son to see things on his own. I didn't want a court getting involved. My son is very smart and he would know that his dad didn't want to do anything for him willingly, the courts would be making him do it. The thing that pisses me off is the fact that everyone wants an easy out. The mother's step up regardless. I was raised to not believe in abortion, so I kept my baby. The most important issue is the child. Everyone wants to get technical and get into the legal matters, when the fact still remains, yuo had unprotected sex and now a child is here. Strep up and be a man and take care of the child. If the guy doesn't want to he's the one missing out. I believe in karma, and that deadbeat will probably need that child later in life. PUT THE CHILD FIRST!!!!
***No, I'm not some bitter old woman hating on men. I am 24 years old finishing up my bachelors degree in banking and finance WITH my three children. ****
I think I turned out just fine without a man in the home.
I was going to say the exact same thing!
--Mike
He had a choice - put on the condom or not. He made a wrong one. I always say, better safe then sorry. He is very sorry. It's called consequences. Don't like the situation don't put yourself in it. Be responsible.
I don't care who you are. No one telling me to abort my child if it is against my beliefs.
I think a father should have the right to custody if the mother wants to give it up, but not kill it.
No one, but no one should have the right to make me kill my baby, and if I want to keep it, tough. You were a consenting adult. No one forced you. Life is not all fun and frolic. As an adult you should have known that. If you choose to be sexually active, you need to be able to live with the consequences.
Not ready for it? Don't get involved.
Oopsies always happened and will happen.
That's life for you.
The only person I feel sorry for is the poor innocent child. Its parents are NOT ready for parenthood. If you are going to be intimate with someone you must be ready for the consequences, if you can't handle them then don't go there. I'm sorry I am sick and tired of people not thinking through their actions, when their actions take a toll on not only their life, but others as well.
If you're "adult enough" to be having sex (ESPECIALLY unprotected sex), then you're "adult enough" to deal with the consequences. This child is quite possibly the only child this particular woman may ever have. Why should a guy be the one to tell her that she shouldn't have this joy. If she wants to raise her baby, let her. But it's his baby too, like it or not. And men do not have to deal with the emotional or physical ties that come with being pregnant. Yea, maybe they're emotional about having a baby or having to deal with the raging hormones, but unless they want the burden/responsibility of carrying a child and then being told that that the other parent doesn't want it, so they should just terminate the life, men, after conception, should have little to no say in it. At least, not in this case.
-Abbie
I am a guy and I think he shouldn't have to pay. However, he will and probably won't win the lawsuit unless she admits to saying I can't get pregnant. They are making it so you can sue somebody if they say they are clean but you get an std from them. It is the mother's fault to because he stopped using the condom after she said she couldn't which shows he didn't want a kid. I do hope that kid lands in a good home though.
All very good point. But does anyone care about the man in the situation? Lets say he had sex and the condom failed... Then should he still suck it up?
What if the man steps up (once she's pregnant) and says I want to take care of my baby, but the mother decides she can't handle it and has an abortion. Women have this right to force a baby on a man or take it away and men really have no rights either way.
Lets take another situation. Lets say the guy had a vasectomy and he was in that SMALL percentage that it actually fails after he did all the post op stuff correctly. Now actually getting sterilized is a clear sign as any that you don't want kids but under some people's assumptions he should be forced to raise the child anyway.
Women are quick to keep the child when they're young, but what happens when a woman is in her 40's or 50's prior to menopause? (especially if she has raised children already) She is extremely likely in this situation to want to opt out of the responsibility of raising a child.
The whol idea of Roe vs. Wade was to allow women the CHOICE. To choose what was best for them 1st. So now a woman knows if she just can't handle raising children she can do numerous things that create a clean slate and remove her from responsibility.
What's wrong with men demanding the same rights as women in this case? If women have a post-pregnancy opt out right, then men should have the same. To disagree is to deny men equal rights, unless you want to just eliminate the original Roe vs Wade and make sure NO woman is allowed to do anything but keep any baby she makes.
Not to sound super old fashioned or anything, but there is a way to 100% prevent pregnancy. It's pretty simple, actually. Don't have sex until you're married. Once you're married, you and your spouse can make that decision together and there wouldn't be this issue.
And, to give men the "right" to either force a woman to not have a baby or to force her to have a baby is not a right. Why should someone who's only responsibility in that situation is financial, get to tell the person with the true emotional and physcial burdens of childbirth what they get to do with the baby.
I'm sorry, I understand that she told him she would never get pregnant, and that she could have taken a diffferent course of action to make sure it never happened, but I don't believe that men should get to make the choice for women about their children unless the child would be raised in an unhealthy environment.
Well yes I agree but the only question we will see is well what happens if the man wants it and the woman doesn't? Or if she does and he doesn't? He will still be forced to pay so men get screwed over in the end so that's why I will always be cool and wrap my tool untill I'm 100% sure I want a little sprout.
A woman is responsible for her body. Did he force her to have sex w/o a condom no. She said she could not get pregnant ergo no condoms. She is pregnant, he doesn't want to be a father. He should not have to pay any support at all as long as he gives up parental rights completely, before birth, forever.
We are the ones who will get pregnant and are the only ones responsible for our bodies. Why can a woman get pregnant from a one-night stand then have an abortion or carry the baby and raise it without trying to find the father, but a man who gets a woman pregnant when taking reasonable precautions(as I think he did) is responsible? Bull- If women want equality we should act like it.
home equity line of credit
Bottom line is, "Matt's constitutional rights are being violated". He took precautions in the begining and then relied on this girls word. HE should have a choice equal to that of a women. He will win! I hope this is a wakeup call for all women who scrupuously take advantage of men who do not want to have children. Children NEED both parents. And things are falling apart in our country because of a single parent raising children. I hope this makes women think twice about raising children alone. The decision of having a child without properly preparing its enironment (being married) is very unresponsible and an unresponsible person has no business having a child to begin with. It's saddens me to see what we call a "great democracy" is so badly broken and only leads to more broken homes. It needs to be fixed and not soon enough!