My Education & My Husband's Career??

I spent some time filling out all these scholarship forms the other day. One of the essay questions was "Why is education important to you?"

I wrote about how I had "forgotten" my studies when I moved to Italia with my Army Soldier. I played house and I loved it, but realized that, when the Army was over and done with, we were going to have to make some money to live off of. (Apparently the government doesn't keep giving you money.)

It was interesting to reflect on where my life was going and why. This deployment, my brother-in-law once said was, "Time unaccounted for." Basically, the entire 15 months that I am experiencing is like 15 months of a dream. It has felt that way some days, other days I really focus on the great things God has allowed me to become occupied with.

One of those things being my ability to attend school and figuring out what I am going to do for the next few years!! Life in Italy is great, I love being married, I love being a wife, I love being able to take care of DJ and totally pamper him and all that jazz. (This deployment really starts to get under your skin and you long for those little things like: serving dinner.)

But (!!) with Italy came big distractions. Procrastination overcame me and it turned out that phone calls to Germany annoyed me too much to talk to the "right" people for the things I needed most for school.

Going back home this time around will be completely differnt. These past few semesters I've been able to just sit here, work and go to school have shed some light on what I've been surpressing for the past two years. It kind of makes you wonder why...

When DJ & I got married, my parents were so conflicted because I needed to focus on my "foundation." (Because to them the love of your life who could support you for the rest of your life wasn't considered a sound foundation for them--what can I say, it's a stereotipe of Asians--and it's funny to see stereotypes play out.) "You must get your education. Without your education, you can't do anything!" (The usual.)

I reassured them I would not forget my "goals" and I would continue my education.

I got to Italy and things changed for me. My philosophy is "I have approximately 60 more years to live, I am sure in that time, I will have graduated from college and worked a good amount of those years in a career I enjoy. I wouldn't have it any other way." And so I focused on what is important to me most-- my relationship with God, and my marriage. (Which surprisingly go hand in hand, it's an amazing circle, more on that later.)

I got lazy in regards to admissions and financial aide, didn't start up school like I said I would.

My husband said once, "You've got to go to school. Your parents are going to think I am the biggest jerk because I am the reason why you aren't going."

Whoa!! What!?
"You're supposed to be on my side!" (Haha!!)

My husband is amazing because he supports me and the goals I mention here and there. He remembers these things and recalls them when I need those reality "kicks in the butt."

Now, the point of my rambiling?!?
A note to all you young military wives:

[It isn't a suprise that a common occurence in the military world is that there are young couples getting married, having babies... all at the seasoned age of 20.]

I feel a great sense of pride in my husband and my role in my husband's life. I am a young wife, 21. (I got married at 19) Something that I struggle with is my "identity." My role is clear, my purpose is clear... but who am I? Am I just "DJ's wife?" No, because I am a daughter of God first and foremost and He has prepared me for a purpose, a greater purpose.

A trend that young wives get in the habit of (myself included) is they get wrapped up in their husbands (military and civilian), in their husband's careers, in their husbands ideals, etc. It is important for us, as women, to have a strong sense of self. Without that sense of self the work you do, the way you serve your husband, the role you play... it seems to be all in vain, because for what reason are you doing it!?

I am not trying to spark up any type of feminist movement, by any means.
I have seen my parent's marriage fall apart because my mom "never felt like she knwe who she was." She felt like she went from her father's house to her husbands house. Remember Jessica Simpson and Nick Lechay, same situation.

Young wives need to set time for themselves to find a strong foothold in their lives and set goals, make priorities, and "get a life."

I have been totally content with what I was doing... 24/7 housewife.
But DJ wasn't. Haha!!

One day after a training exercise (??/ is that what I am supposed to call them?), I was looking at DJ's hands and ran my fingers over his calluses and he said, "These are what I work with. That's what I am good at." He looked at me and said, "You're not going to use your hands to work. You're going to use your brain."

I know it wasn't a pretty, sugar-coated, compliment... but it meant a lot to me.

A man who really... sees something about me and continues to motivate me.

[I don't always take those compliments the "right way" haha, because I am a woman and I misunderstand things. Haha, he tries to encourage me and motivate me & I am altogether grateful for that in him.]

A part of my "identity" is going to be my education and my career. Going back to Italy this summer is going to be a WHOLE new experience because I am thinking about the future and really taking DJ's suggestions more seriously, because it is going to be vital for LIFE AFTER THE MILITARY!!!

There is life after the military... I know it seems far off, but it'll come, and where will you be? What will you be doing? All this planning is essential for the future of yoru marriage and lifestyle, so make sure you and your hubby talk a bit about it... 'cause a 4year enlistment will be up before you know it.