I am gay. I have a girlfriend and my parents hate her. My best friend is bi and she can't even tell her parents because they would kick her out.
When my parents first found out about me and my girlfriend they flipped they said it was her as a person that they didn't like, not the fact that we were going out. But if that were true why didn't they tell me to stop talking to her when we were just friends? After a few months the decided that I need to go into therapy, to "fix" me or something, even though they swear that's not what they were trying to do. Then when my dad found out that my thearapist didn't agree with what he was doing and that she thought I should be aloud to see my girlfriend he flipped out again and made me stop going to see her. He told me that it was because he didn't like that she couldn't tell him and my mom everything that I said to her.
Here's the thing, me and my girlfriend are still going out. It's been more then a year since I've actually been aloud to see her and it's killing me. College is my one opportunity to finally get away and get to be with the girl that I love. The only problem being that until then I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm back in therapy. My parents and brothers think it's totally stupid that I think I'm gay. And even though my mom has been telling me that it will get better with time, it isn't. I mean it's been a year, how long should I have to put my life on hold just for them to get used to the fact that I like girls and I'm in love with my girlfriend?
My dad has actually asked me if i know how gay people live and then told me that basically they all live in shit holes. And also that I am for sure going to get AIDS like it's something that you can only get if your gay.
I don't understand how any parent can blantantly tell their child that they think that they made the wrong "choice" about their sexuality and that if they don't change they won't be welcome in the family any longer.
Personally I can't wait for college although my parents are threatening not to pay if I stay with my girlfriend, I don't care. They don't control me or my happiness. And as long as I am happy and in love, I don't care what anyone thinks. I have lost family and friends already and I'm sure that it will continue to happen throughout my life. But if I can die feeling that I stood up for something that I believed in and that I might have actually impacted somebodies life, that would be worth all the pain and suffering I would have gone through.
I know that there are even worse stories then that about GLBT people getting mistreated and misjudged by there family and friends.
People all the time make the mistake of saying that legalizing same-sex marriage is going to cause such an uproar in more than just religion. And yea it will, I'm not trying to say that it won't, but that's just at the beginning. If society as a whole could learn to be more accepting of homosexuality over time, then children would grow up knowing that it was ok that their friend had two moms or dads. I don't want my kids to grow up getting picked on because of me.
If there is one thing that bothers me about American Society, it is the homophobia. I don't know if you ever look at the GLBT blog pamshouseblend.com, but they have a great community over there if you're ever looking for an accepting group.
Stay strong, you're fine just the way you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
My Blog
"We cannot redeem evil, we must combat it." -- Jean Paul Sartre
Thanks. You saying that pretty much made my week. It's good to know that there are still people who can support me even though everyone around me acts like I don't exist or hates me.
I really appreciate it.
I remember when one of my best friends came out to me. We'd known each other since infancy, and our mothers had been friends for a similar amount of time, and I was puzzled about why she'd be so nervous telling me. As it turned out, her parents weren't the most tolerant people on Earth (oh the things my Mother would have said to her mother were my mother still alive). She's still not out to them. I guess she was afraid that I would be the same way.
It bothers me that our society thinks like that. Because there is a strange and dangerous inconsistency that exists in a conscience that can simultaneuously declare "all are equal" before following it with "except for some".
My Blog
"We cannot redeem evil, we must combat it." -- Jean Paul Sartre
It's a hard thing to do no matter who it is though. I didn't tell my best friend for the longest time. And when I did tell her I told her I was bi because I wasn't sure how she would handle the truth.
I was kind of a chicken about it though.
I really need to toughen up or something because I'll never make it.
But she knew that my views on sexual orientation were (and still are) "ok, and this will change how I see you why again?"
Needless to say such a viewpoint does not endear me to a certain group of people in this country.
Take care of yourself, and like ediblewoman said, make sure your parents don't claim you as a dependent for tax purposes once you're in college.
My Blog
"We cannot redeem evil, we must combat it." -- Jean Paul Sartre
;'(
Some people.....
“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”
Emperor Sigismund
I am so sorry your family is reacting that way. My dad reacted similarly (he actually called me a name that is too obscene to type here), but I was already out of the house when I came out.
I know the idea of paying for college yourself is scary, but it can be done. Be true to yourself. It feels a lot worse to sell yourself out. But if they do refuse to pay for college, be sure they cut you off completely. I know it sounds weird, but if they claim you on their taxes, it screws you for financial aid. You won't be eligible for grants, you'll get fewer subsidized loans, etc. I know it's cold, but you have to look out for yourself.
I so hope they come around. But if they don't, surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. Don't dwell on your loss. Revel in your independence.
Good luck.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Yea. I'm doing the best I can with getting scholarships and anything and everything else that comes my way.
And thanks for the tip about making sure I'm cut off completely, I never really would have thought about that.
Well, my parents claimed me on their taxes all through college, but never gave me a dime, and it screwed me.
If you have any questions, or just need to vent, you can message me. Been there, and it blows. I'm so sorry.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I'm not sure what my parents are going to end up doing. But my guess would probably be the thing that fucks my life up the most.
I guess I am in the same boat as you, except I don't consider myself gay (If I wasnt with my GF I'd be with a guy). I am limmited on my future oportunities because of this, and it kills me sometimes that my parents don't fully support me. It almost seems as if they think I will get over it. Good thing I havent told them that she proposed to me. Just hold on and don't let anyone tell you you are wrong or any less of a person.
Faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small, and it's easy to fill up. But the older you get, the bigger the glass gets, and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore. Periodically, the glass has to be refilled.
-Dogma