Depression hurts, as everyone knows. But why do people feel depressed? I know that right now, I'm depressed. Yet, when I ask myself why I hurt, I can't seem to get an answer. I think it stems from all the times I've been picked on. Let me tell you a little about my history.
When I was a kid, I was the big one. The really big one. At age 8, I was around 5'2" and 150 lbs. I was also the smartest in the class. So I was different from everyone else. None of the little cliques that formed wanted anything to do with me. I was the outcast. The educators were no help, they just sat back and let things run, they didn't try to intervene. As I got older, I was pushed out more and more. And the people that claimed to be my friends were really just using me to get out of doing their homeowrk . I was thinking suicide before puberty. When grade six came, I thought that I was going to fit in better. I thought that people are going to start acting more mature and let me in. Nope. I was still the genius giant. No one wanted anything to do with me. Things happened during that year that I'd like to not go into. So middle school turned out to be shitty.
Now I'm in High School. And things are somewhat better. I have a few friends, fellow outcasts. And we swear to become upstadning individuals when we graduate college. But I still am, overall, depressed.
Back to the question at hand. Why are people depressed? I think it stems from their history. If a person is pushed away from "society" all their life, they're never really gonna bounce back.
I know what depression feels like and have found a way to surpass it without the use of psychotropic drugs.
Our past experiences are a main factor in how we look at the world. I grew up project poor, and smart just the right ingredients for being picked on and harassed. Things changed for me a great deal when I changed schools that matched my abilities, I was no longer the oddball and began to accept my unique traits and have learned that my past is my strength.
My advice to you is to recognize the potential that you have.
Consider changing schools if possible to reflect your academic abilities.
Build upon your strengths and hobbies by joining groups in your area easy to find through meetup.com and your local newspaper, you will soon build a network of like minded people and feel stronger in who you are.
Counter any negative self talk with at least 5 positive affirmations. At first you may feel "weird" having mental conversations with yourself but it works.
What gets me through the toughest times is remembering this too shall pass.
If you continue to have suicidal thoughts talk with your doctor of any support groups available in your area, but be very wary of prescription intervention. Depression at one point or another is natural. We are not wired to feel good all the time. Take the time when you are feeling down to observe your thoughts, listen to easy music and don't try to ignore it by not giving time to reflect.
Wishing you health, balance and joy.
Live as if you will die tomorrow.
Learn as if you will live forever.
M.K. Gandhi
Lolz raise hand. I admit that too. I talk to myself as well. A lot of times, I need a reminder, need to kick myself so that I won't sink into that lazy/depressing phase.
For me, when I hit depression mode, really really bad, I would write in my journal. I write whatever come across my mind, and force myself to stop fabricating my thoughts and admit the true feelings I have toward certain issues, even if it's bad thoughts. But remember to keep the bad things as thought, please don't ever put them into action.
It just exist. sometimes i think happy people are just better at dealing with depression than depressed people. but at least you have close friends. I have an ass load of friends but no best friend. no one to share my joy or pain with. just a whole ass load, and im talking a big ass, who what to lay all their pain on me. and i take it but it hurts. there is one thing i can tell you. suicide is not the answer. i too have given it serious thought before middle school. what i have come up with is no matter how hard your life is no matter what comes your way its still life. if it comes down to it and you feel you have nothing left to live for remember this. Life is worth living because there is nothing in death worth dying for.
locke
One thing I hate about society in America is the fact that it is anti-intellectual. There's no denying that being smart at a young age causes you to be alienated. I continue to struggle with this issue today, but I have hopes for the future because I hear college is a place where being intellectual is actually appreciated.
Depression is the worst thing in the world. I've had some very bad experiences with it. It's a downward spiral; it causes you to recede from society during a time when you need people the most. Like sourlemon said, writing really helps! Being depressed causes you to analyze things a lot. Writing a journal and looking back at what you wrote is gonna help you realize things that you never knew about yourself. Also, don't be afraid of seeking help for your depression. Therapy REALLY helped me. It will help you understand how the things you've gone through have shaped your world view, and then you'll be able to make things better for yourself.
Timoteo
Yea, thanks you guys.
On the Journal thing, I can't keep one, my parents are too nosy.
On Changing schools, I live in hicksvile, USA and the system doesn't have better schools. Neither do they allow grade-skipping.
On therapy, I'd love to, but, once again, parents are the issue. They'd tell me to get over myself.
THINK! It's not illegal yet!
Maybe you should get over yourself. I really thought I was something special, my parents own this business and I thought that made me that much better than who? Believe me man someone has worse problems than you, it's just how it works. I dont mean this as an insensitive comment I just wanted to make you think about whether or not what you are depressed about is worth letting the experiances that you would have if you were happy go by.
keep your chin up
locke
Does your parent know your password? If not, just write it in your email and send it to yourself. Else you can get an account from live journal or xanga. They allow you to put the post to private so that no one can see it.
But everyone needs to talk. And I am humble.
THINK! It's not illegal yet!