I just got out of a long-term relationship and I've been hearing all types of "words of wisdom" from my friends. They say "you're going to be better without him" or "now you can do what you want" or "you're still young" or "there are plenty of fish in the sea." If you have been in my situation you know what I'm talking about. However, at times I really don't want to hear it. He was good for me, and even though maybe I wasn't able to do EVERYTHING I wanted I think that's reasonable, because you do that for the people you love, for example your parents. Now I'm not trying to say that people should stay in relationships or that i regret my break up, I just want people to understand that when people get out of a reltionship it's ok to just give them a hug and tell them "what happens happens" or "things happen for a reason" (even those are "words of wisdom" as well) because it's not that easy to just forget about that person and move on.
When my friends tell me that "he didn't deserve me" or "he was bad for me" or other things along those lines, I don't want to tell them that i was talking to him before I went to sleep or that I went to see him the other day, or that we had sex. It's hard enough on our conscience and we need our friends' support not disapproval.
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*hug hug* take all the time you need. if you feel bad about having sex with him post-breakup, just raid his wallet afterward so you feel subversive and in control. let me know if you need to talk.
g.fe
oops. was going to post this without any 'words of wisdom' but i think i need to add one: 'don't take my advice' :D I'm rooting for you.
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GloriaFe: Progressive's Sex Blogger
You’re right Ingrida when you break up with someone you don’t want people telling you all of these negative things to help you get over it. You take the good and you leave the bad (past) behind. Remember your man for all of the good things he meant to you and all of the good things you meant for him. But also remember (during your interludes) why you guys broke up. There’s nothing wrong with having a friend with benefits. Also please check out my post at http://www.progressiveu.org/190000-relationships for more on relationships.
Well, listen to them. Since you love him you don't realize what he does to you. It's hard to hear, but it's better to hear it know, than when you are married and suffering
I know how you feel. It's hard to move on but it's got to be done. I'm in your same situation right now. You need to stop talking to him though and keep yourself preoccupied with other things. That's the only thing that's helping me.