Maybe my story won't be the most revolutionary, but I feel that the truth is a start.
Life has been, to put it in positive terms, interesting to say the least this year. School has been insanely overwhelming, what with my upcoming graduation coming in less than a month, my family has been rocked by what can only be called an awkward stage very much induced by confusion and sheer stupidity, and a few of my friends have begun to reevaluate what their lives are all about, with a general consensus among a few of them being that their lives are better without me in them.
But, let's get back to the point; after all, I am supposed to be discussing the year 2007. So, let me start over.
My name is Jane, or Ellie, or whatever you want it to be; it doesn't truly matter in this story. What matters is that, for me, 2007 was not a year of significant calamity or problems. Instead, it was (and continues to be) a time of rebirth and change for the better.
Let's start out on the friends front. This is especially resonant since the incident at Virginia Tech a few months ago. A year ago, one of my friends, let's call him Dom, got severely depressed. A former writer, he decided that he wanted to end his life and, possibly, mine. I discovered this through my name being slashed out on an AIM profile of his, and I was scared out of my mind. I had basically been his personal counselor through the whole ordeal leading up to this, including his coming out to his friends. I did not want anything but happiness for him, but I didn't know what to do once my life had been threatened. Upon trying to reason with him, I was told that he became my friend out of "sympathy," though I now know that he was just covering up resentment he held for me because my efforts to cheer him up and help him brought his long suppressed issues to the surface.
I didn't want to call the police, but I was forced to tell them in case he planned to do anything seriously that Monday at school. Although they promised me that they wouldn't take action against Dom and that they would keep my identity hidden, they repeatedly told him and the other questioned students that it was me who turned him in, although I asked for no charges to be pressed, as long as they helped him not to commit suicide. He and one of his friends were suspended, and although we were all asked to not speak about the events, he told all of my friends that I had tried to get both of them arrested and kicked out of school. This, however, was a complete lie. Consequently, I have lost about 5 of my friends and been gossiped about endlessly. My school reputation was basically over, and I cannot stress enough how difficult it is to start over in the middle of your junior year in high school.
To this day, most of both of their friends do not talk to me. They avoid speaking about the incident, never once asking me if I was truly responsible for their punishments, nor doubting that it was intentional. And I have never been given a single chance to apologize, since they are set against ever communicating with me again. This is what I faced when I returned to school for the 06-07 school year, and yes, it did rock my world (in a bad way).
What can I say? How am I now? I am fine, but I've surely learned a lot. I've learned that those horrid events that you witness on television and in the news are more than just watercooler talk. I've learned that bad things do happen to good people, and a lot, but it's not worth the trouble it brings to ask "why me" or anything of the sort; it's better to use the experience to help others for the better and move on with your life.
So that's exactly what I did.
I stayed in school and endured the gossip. I continued to support my friends whenever they needed it, and left the matter of trusting me up to their own discretion. I've stayed true to myself, though, and never apologized for being concerned. I encourage others to help those they know in need, no matter what. And, finally, I learned to make friends who accept me for who I am, regardless of my past. They might know bits and pieces of what happened, but they never use it against me or judge me because of it. I am eternally grateful for that.
This is the first time I've told anyone the whole story, and, most likely, it will be the last. I just hope that it helps someone somewhere, so that it all wasn't for nothing.
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You saved a life, even if you lost some friends. I think you did the right thing.
That really does mean a lot.
Questions welcome.
Comments encouraged.
Challenges loved.
Silence discouraged.
Fight apathy with words <3
check out my blog at www.progressiveu.org/blog/rhapsodygirl
To go off of the comment above, Dom will thank you for saving his life in the future.
I was in a similar thing too, but the topic was abuse. My friend was abused by her stressed out mother. Too often my friend would tell me stories of it and break down in tears. I told a school counselor and it just snowballed from there. I was lucky enough to not loose any friends. Although, she bust into my class room crying-asking the teacher if I could speak to her. When I stepped out, she asked me why I told. But that was the worst of it. I didn't even the trust of her mother. When everything ironed out, that friend of mine still calls me today and feels like I am a good friend that she could still confide in. The ordeal happened 7 years ago, and we don't go to the same schools, and have no means of communication. Nevertheless, she still calls me to tell me how she's doing.
So if you're worried at all about the friendships lost, don't worry about it. They will come around.
I agree, sounds like you saved more than one, your "friend" (doesn't sound like one to me tho), your own, and if I am reading between the lines correctly, more than one in your school.
I also commend you for your ability to persevere through the social difficulties you experienced. It really shows you who your friends really are.
Bones
Taking responsibility for your actions will enrich your life.