Young marriages...I guess I'm kind of biased toward this topic because I'm a 19 year old female and I've almost been married a year. I live in a part of the country where being young and married isn't a problem. Actually, it's more of the majority here then the minority...so that could also help the reason I don't feel so bad about being married young. However, most of the country doesn't think the same way about it that I do. There are those people that think that it is wrong to be married so young because of reasons such as "you're too young, you don't know what love is," "you have so much you still need to do in your life," "what about college?" "are you sure you love each other?" etc etc etc...you all know what I'm talking about...
But what is everyone's deal with young marriage? Think back to the time in our country when most girls are married and a mother by the age of 15. If they weren't married and a mother by that age, they were seen as an "old maid." Now I'm not saying that girls should be married and pregnant by the age of 15, but seriously...why did the age increase to like 25 years of age? What is so special about the age of 25 that seems to make marriage more successful than it would be at the age of 19 or 20? Hm..there's some kind of seceret here that I must be missing. I don't know, my marriage is going well and we're going strong and I'm only 19 years old...so maybe there's no secret at all...
Think back to the time in our country when most girls are married and a mother by the age of 15.
First, let me say that I'm not a Sociology guru. Haven't taken a Soc. class since '92.
As I understand it, getting married at an early age was mostly out of necessity since it provided more hands for working on farms. An example would be my high school math teacher who was one of 15 children born into a share cropping family.
I think any opposition to younger folks getting married has more to do with maturity. Granted there are some folks out there who, no matter how old they are, have no business being married. Plus, it's easier to get married when you have a job, steady income, don't have to worry about school and can support your spouse and children etc.
Nowadays the divorce rates are so high for those who marry at very young ages. I mean, some of the marriages work out, and that's great if they do, but I think people jump into marriage a little to quickly. So many people date for such a short time and get married before barely even being together a year. If your love is true, then it should last and you won't have to rush to get married as a teenager.
I's have to disagree, in this country, ALL marriages have been facing a higher divorce rate, not only ones involving young couples.
But I do believe in your point that teenagers should not have to rush to get married.
Alicia
I agree that the issue is not an actual age but a level of maturity. Also, people are wanting to travel more, go to school longer, and pursue careers before marriage so they put off getting married, and theres nothing wrong with that. I also don't think that there is anything wrong with marrying early though. If you are ready for marriage then that is great, more power to you, but I think you need to be prepared because it is not easy, but I guess I don't need to tell you that, since you are already married!!
I myself plan on marrying young... the man i intend to marry is in the army and we've been together about 2 years. I can honestly say that I love him... another issue is I am the baby and my 2 big brothers are currently going to UAB, so that makes money for college very slim. If I marry him I can us his GI bill and we won't have to worry about college money. Also he has been gone for a whole year of training. When/If he gets restationed I want to go to but can't if we are not marryed. its a difficult decision but i know tons of people that were married young and are wonderful today
~Haley~
My parents told me that you don't really stop changing until you're 25, so it's best to get married later so that you will likely know you and your spouse are in fact compatible. I've known so many kids whose parents are divorced because they married so young, but mine are still together and they married much later in life.
Some young marriages work out great, but it seems the vast majority of them do not.
I don't think there's anything wrong with getting married at a young age, but on the other hand, I don't plan to do it. I want the independence, and want to be totally sure about marrying someone before I do it. I'm talking years of dating before I even want to consider it. I support a couples right to get a divorce, but I don't want to have even the slightest trace of the thought that "if it doesn't work out, we can just get divorced." Okay, so maybe I'm a bit of a love skeptic as well, and am a bit afraid of commitment, but if marriage at a young age suits someone, by all means, they should go for it....it's just not for me.
I think one huge reason it's sometimes seen as a bad thing is because women are constantly fighting for equal rights, and some people see it as the "old school" way of doing things, where women get married young, settle down and start a family.
it's all about society and media.
Insert Shameless Self-Promotion Here -- http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ada-castellon
People used to get married younger for a lot of different reasons, ranging from a lower life expectancy to more limitations (awhile ago women didn't hold jobs, for example). Nowadays, we live long enough that we don't need to rush things and our main priorities are not simply to get married and have children.
I think the biggest problem with marrying before 25 is that people do a lot of maturing before that age, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Between 18 and 25 years old, people should be living on their own and figuring out what they want to do with themselves. There's plenty of time after that to have children. Studies show that marriage before the age of 25 makes you twice as likely to get divorced. Getting a good education, a job that you enjoy, and setting personal goals for yourself before getting married helps to stabilize marriage. In that way, neither partner has regrets or feels like they rushed into something without knowing for sure they wanted it.
-JP
I don't know, I'm not a biggie for young marriage but I think its stupid that people think, oh well you're 25 now and so much more mature its fine now, thats just ridiculous, I'm 18 and would love more than anything in the world to marry my boyfriend, but getting married now would be bad because we don't have what we need to support the marriage and ourselves, I've promised myself to him, like engagement, but not, this way if something happens neither of us have to force ourselves to continue the relationship, if these " big changes" happen. I want my marriage to work, so we are waiting until we both finish school and have jobs, I will have my masters at the age of 22, and he will have his a year after me, so I'll be 23 in the year i'll get a job, and we will be getting married around 24 and 25, it has nothing to do with change, or maturity, we are mature now, we know how we feel, and anyone in our positions would feel the same way, I see the around 25 thing as thats around the time you finish a good college education and get a job and settled which is around the time you should get married if you want to give it a fighting chance.
But I have to say
If I knew we'd be ok, and successful and safe if we got married now
I'd do it in a heartbeat
I can't wait to spend the rest of my life as his wife
so if you get put off by everyone saying 25 cause you are done changing and all that stuff just look at it from a different way,
I feel that if the love is meant to be, it can wait till you both can support yourselves
and if you love them, I mean truly love them, and you'd be respecting your relationship and give it a fighting chance even if marrying early then go for it, But if you know that there a rocks and bumps that could mess it up that can be avoided by waiting then do wait
show how much you love them by giving it a fighting chance
I totally and completely agree!! My boyfriend and I are the same way. I know what I feel for him and I know how everyone says it will fade but after the two and a half years of friendship and the six months of dating all my feelings have done is get stronger. I would marry him in a heartbeat, but we are both 18 years old and he is still in high school. I am traveling away to college and to my mind that will truly be our test. If our relationship survives us being that far away from one another I can only imagine that it will be that much better when we can be together again. We have talked about marriage, about having children and everything that comes with it, it is just an understood fact that until we have enough to buy a place of our own we don't plan to get married. For us this is what works. Its not that we don't want to be married now, its just that for our relationship its not plausible. If it works for you then I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.
http://www.progressiveu.org/090204-dont-miss-this-chance
Out of curiosity, what part of the country do you live in? It doesn't sound like the city.
DISCLAIMER: I am not being rude. I'm stating my opinion. No personal attacks are meant. Please give some leniency on how you take my words. imagine me saying them with a smile. ^__^
Live life to the fullest
My problem is that I htink that being young and married will be a huge responsibility and that the two people are not completely ready.That's my opinion.
Well actually I was almost engaged. And yes, it was very rushed, which made me back out at the end. But there is a happy ending to this story. My current boyfriend and I met a month before he was shipped to Fort Bliss, TX and later on to Iraq. In a six month period we were physically together only 6 weeks maximum. We had talked about marriage in our future several times, but it leaked out last september he had been planning to propose this coming April. It was all too much too soon. After a few months break for us both, we both came to our senses and feel much better about our relationship. We still talk about marriage but feel it is better for another time when we both finish with school and he finishes with the military. I feel the relationship is stronger and that we now have a better chance of making it work because we are open, honest, and can speak up when we aren't okay with something. He knows I'm not ready to get married yet, and he is okay with it. Its better to make it through trials in life together without "having to" or "vowing" before you actually "vow" to. It shows we are both willing and able. And we can both stand in front of our family and friends to say so without any doubt.
Well actually I was almost engaged. And yes, it was very rushed, which made me back out at the end. But there is a happy ending to this story. My current boyfriend and I met a month before he was shipped to Fort Bliss, TX and later on to Iraq. In a six month period we were physically together only 6 weeks maximum. We had talked about marriage in our future several times, but it leaked out last september he had been planning to propose this coming April. It was all too much too soon. After a few months break for us both, we both came to our senses and feel much better about our relationship. We still talk about marriage but feel it is better for another time when we both finish with school and he finishes with the military. I feel the relationship is stronger and that we now have a better chance of making it work because we are open, honest, and can speak up when we aren't okay with something. He knows I'm not ready to get married yet, and he is okay with it. Its better to make it through trials in life together without "having to" or "vowing" before you actually "vow" to. It shows we are both willing and able. And we can both stand in front of our family and friends to say so without any doubt.
And from me you receive a resounding YES! Because I'm 18 and I've been married about 4 months now. I have a similar post to this. I'm glad someone can share my sentiments.
-Leave the world a better place than you came to it.
I am think that if you are ready to get married then get married.
No one can tell you if you are ready and if you love someone.
I'm 19 years old and getting married on December 27th, 2008
and i couldn't be happier. We both know what we want in life
and what we want to do with our lives, but we also know that
we want to do them all together.
But on the other hand there are some people who get married
young who absolutely SHOULDN'T! But that's their business.
If you want to get married...Get married, no one is stopping you.
You dont have to have money to get married, marriage is based
on LOVE.
I am in a situation that is a little different. I am going to be married this winter to man that I have been with for almost five years. I will 22 and he will be 21. We will be six weeks shy of 23 and 22. I am done with college and he will have six months left. Our age has only been a problem to his family. This is frustrating to me because his sister got married at 21 and is now having a child at 23. It is not unusual for people to be married at 21 and 22 where we live. I do not understand how it is better for people to dedicate themselves physically, emotionally, and financially without doing it legally until they are 25. If you love each other, can support yourself financially, and truly understand what it means to be married, then why not?
I think that is the problem with young marriage is that they might have an unrealistic expectations of marriage, even more then some older couples. Younger couples do have more financial strains, but all age groups get divorced .
The huge amount of choices available make more individuals to make wrong ones.
30 or 40 years ago, to go to the movie theater was to go and see that “one” and only movie which was available, of course no one complained because that was the actual reality, back then, choices upon many of live aspects were limited.
Now one can go a theater and chose out of 10 or even more different movies to pick from according to one’s personal whishes.
Not that long ago women used to hang out in the kitchen “only”, to spend life in the kitchen makes one to become ignorant of what is happening outside.
These days woman are out there and they have finally created a better view upon what’s available, therefore the level of cheating has risen to a certain balance.
Although the reasons of cheating may vary between males and females the outcome remains the same, hurt will eventually flow out of it sooner or later!
The bottom-line is that marriage is a joke, it’s a invention that has been romanticized in order to fulfill the needs of those who have their thumb on one’s wallet, mind and personal freedom.
Marriage is act of commitment which eventually leads to limitation of choice!
Can’t help it - tangoterje
Interesting argument. You argue that everyone will cheat because they have the opportunity to and that marriage is a fraud because people cheat. What about people that make life long commitment to each other without marriage? Are they committing fraud also? I agree that you have to give up personal freedom when you get married but you also have to give up personal freedom when you get a career job or have children. Should all people avoid these things also? Marriage is not for everyone and I strongly believe that some people do not have the ability, personality, and selflessness to be married. A lot of people that I know that are married, got married for the wrong reasons, but does that mean every marriage should not exists?
Marriage is more to be seen as a painful trap which leads to disillusion.
We live in a world in which males are still in a deep struggle, one of not willing to accept their female gender within.
Since we are on the fast lane when it boils down to evolution of our human specie, it’s only a matter of patience (not time) before this will become an overall reality which will change everything regarding the way individuals think about relationships.
This evolution is also the reason why marriages simply don’t work out, because it’s against the nature of our evolution.
Lifelong commitments are great, because they leave space for sincere reasoning along the course and are less destructive when coming to an end.
Our social structures and economics which now surround our social lives will mould into new forms which will make such that comprehensive relationships can become more joyful for all to experience.
Youngsters these days are kicking ass on multiple levels, they don’t enjoy the lousy sex lives which are presented to them in ways like if they were something genuine to pursue, meanwhile witnessing all the dirty secrets older generations are trying to keep away from them. Lol
Youngsters are curious and far from dumb when it boils down to digging in order to find the real reality.
Females more than ever before are expanding themselves, they our growing out of this sick role of submission which has been inflicted upon them during ages.
So yes, marriage can at least be considered a plane stupid thing to engage in, nowadays, marriage is a commitment between “cash and pussy”.
Love is something else, for now hardly understood, but it will arise and bring the necessary change for all to enjoy from.
To get married at a young age is to throw out the door all of the potential one caries inside, regardless if of male or female.
The exception is for those who are affected and linger trough live with the “Barbie and Ken” syndrome!
It is said,
Can’t help it - tangoterje
Thank you for answering my messages. I find it interesting to get others opinions on things like marriage. I think that you take out the love that can exists within a marriage. I guess you do not believe in a lasting love. I guess I don't either. Its odd but I believe that within marriages there are phases of hate/ frustration for the other person but marriage is working through it.
I do agree with you that prior generations did have terrible sex lives within marriages (my mother-in-law still has the idea that a woman should just open her legs and take it). This has to do more with male domination and the long held belief that a woman that enjoyed sex was a tramp. I do not necessarily blame it on marriage alone. I have talked candidly with married and non-married friends about sex (both male and female) and see very little difference how much they enjoy sex. My married friends seem happier with the companionship they receive from being married but my non married friends do not live with their partners. If they did it might be different.
I have to admit that I do not fully understand the evolution theory but I do fear HIV, Hep C, and herpes. I guess I do not see a sexual evolution in the works when I know people personally that have contracted HIV from casual sex. I guess maybe you don't mean casual sex but living in a house hold where three mom's and three dad's live together, raise their children, and engage in sex together (both genders). This type of communal living is possible only if people get over their jealousy issues.
The last thing I wanted to say if marriage was just a commitment between "pussy and cash" then why did my grandfather visit my grandmother daily when she was put into a nursing home? He did not drive and often took the bus for an hour one way at age 83. He received no pussy or cash for my grandmother and she had all of her basic care given to her from the state. There had to be something more there.
If you can could you explain the evolution of humans to me. I am interested.
First of all, welcome upon this platform, I’m sure you will become an addict soon, lol.
From what I read, you carry an open mind and more important, the right approach which automatically creates all the difference to allow yourself to gain all the knowledge you might wish for.
Since you carry interest in opinions of others you have found an amazing source of abundance.
I will try to answer your questions, please keep in mind I will only try to do so, the world we share is extremely complex and difficult to translate.
Many amongst upon this globe walk around the earthly planes like if the world was born together with them a few years ago, whether this occurrence is due to a blown up ego, arrogance, ignorance or lack in proper education, I leave for others to decide upon.
Anyhow, it are places or platforms like this one you stumbled upon which can make a difference for all to enjoy from.
Regardless of your age, gender or topic preferences, this is one of the right spots upon which your personal thoughts and opinions can provide a meaningful value to bring understanding for those who are in search or need of it.
One of the reasons why his platform can become an addiction, is because many different thoughts come together while focusing deeply upon subjects which concern us all, making it a most exciting and inspiring place to hangout.
Like many other things in life, solutions to problems can arise and affect realities like a chain reaction of events clearing a path for the better.
Looking forward in reading your first blog,
Some people whether they are in a marriage or relationship, are deeply committed to one another. In fact there is nothing which can affect what they have going between themselves. No need to say, this is beautiful because they are aligned in a common emotional understanding of what matters for both in union.
In some cases one cannot be without the other, this is mostly a near to perfect match, like you brought up so well regarding your grandfather.
There is nothing wrong with commitment, but in many situations the amount of familial, social and educational pressure make such that certain compromises individuals (mostly women) make are solely in order to comply to the wishes of all but their own.
Globally societies have been molded into structures which are hardly ever questioned.
Because certain realities which are veiled and wrapped around our lives have been around for many generations before, we automatically assume they are the most normal things around.
Disturbances in these realities mostly arise when new forms of communication arise. Sometimes they can have brutal effects upon various areas of individual understanding.
Nowadays things change at such a rapid pace, you (a youngster) already carry another awareness of reality in regard to the reality awareness of your parents.
Today, you know things which are happening around your life which you don’t necessarily want to share with your parents at the dinner table, only to avoid eyebrows to go up you refer of telling what you know or found out, while knowing well enough that your parents ignore the fact you carry information or knowledge which might upset them….lol.
Internet is a fine example of how communication can affect and change social climate’s in a short period of time. One can easily suck the whole world inside his home, were once one had to travel for weeks or even months in order to find out what’s cooking on the other side of the world, now it is only one click away.
No need to mention technology has opened up a no nonsense view upon everything we humans draw our interest upon, making sex the nr 1 and therefore most popular item of exploration.
Were regular housewives used to bake a cake in the kitchen, they are now fulfilling their romantic needs throughout chatting session with complete strangers online…lol.
Offices or other workspaces which for short were only occupied by males, are now filled with females which have proven to be excellent in whatever field of work they venture themselves in.
One needs to understand romances which take place upon a work platform need to be considered as a normal evolution which cannot be tackled.
Sex in the office is a reality already proven to be at a level of 50% worldwide.
People love to mingle, especially when attraction is present sooner or later something will arise from it.
For this and many other reasons, to many to mention the concept of marriage is not only outdated, it literally sucks BIG TIME!
The conflicts which for now arise from all he mingling which is taking place, make such that divorce rates will grow even more.
The main problem these days is mainly the fact that our social structures are not capable of dealing with divorce, life is expensive and even more so when living single or as single parent.
The construct of marriage these days, one can refer to it as being a choice of security to ensure a strong and solid bases. What many females and males seem to ignore is the fact this choice (yes, I do) contains much more than they could had expected in the first place.
Love has many faces and ways of expression, but hardly felt in situations where there is a lack of communication. This lack of communication mostly arises between the sheets. In order to deal with this lack, there aren’t many ways to go about when it doesn’t get addressed properly by both partners.
Even today males are being educated in order to shut the emotional door when a female need of communication is being projected upon them. Frustration which arises from this eventually lead to obstacles which are hard to surpass.
There is an urgent need to remold social structures into a realistic version which can adapt and provide to the needs of each and any around.
Everlasting love is only possible when it’s reflected upon your own self. This provides one with the strength to continue its path whenever hurt kicks in.
If you love yourself, love is never far away a sensation to experience.
To cling upon another is unhealthy and it leads to trauma, while the best way to lose your self-esteem.
If someone cheats upon you, he or she is not worth it, period!
Cry, release the hurt, get over it, and mingle again!
Women need to get rid of the Barbie education, it sucks and leads to mishap!
To raise kids in an atmosphere of fairytales doesn’t allow them to grow a backbone.
To know more about human evolution I can suggest to watch this movie first and
maybe come back with questions, I would be more than happy to elaborate about what seems unclear.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7583894250854515095
Another thing, you don’t need to agree with the above, it’s just my thought!
Have a great day, and don’t get married, lol
It is said,
Can’t help it - tangoterje
I will watch the video and reflect on what you said. I do not have the time to do it now. I do agree with you on the fact that fairy tails are ruining people. They set up unrealistic expectations and create women that need to be rescued. This always ends up in disappointment because people are not perfect. I still plan on getting married but count me as a rarity that I never want to be called a "Princess" on my wedding day. I am actually really annoyed with that idea.
Oh, yeah the happiest day of my life isn't going to be my wedding day. The day I get my Master's will be way more fulfilling. My fiancee gets this and maybe that is why I am attracted to him. We view each other as equal partners not a dominate/subordinate relationship, even in marriage. I guess this can be viewed as rarity. I never get offended by difference of opinions. If I did then I would question what I believe
What potential are you thinking of, exactly? Women can still go to school and get good careers in a marriage, as can men. So, it certainly isn't the potential to learn more or to become successful. People in a marriage are typically better able to cope with certain circumstances, because of the emotional support they have in the marriage (though, this can be said of life partners as well). So, I really don't see how getting married destroys all that potential.
~C
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Potential is what a young individual needs, to expand throughout experience in order to understand one’s own true personal needs, those needs can easily be in accordance and manifested inside a relationship or even in marriage.
Still, to be born as an individual in a prebuilt social construct which has been invented, created and molded with the sole reason to be profitable for that specific institution, doesn’t change much to the fact that every individual caries personal potential which carries a need to express within this picture.
The essence of one’s life in a broad way isn’t only centered around school and
careers, life has much more to offer than filling in the needs of an economical system which has been put in place to drain each and every individual who has become a part of it.
Not to question and blindly follow an imposed and outdated social pattern that has been put in place telling each individual what his/her choices are and how one is supposed to proceed in live is sheer nonsense, marriage being the greatest of all.
Individuals commit themselves to another individual who they believe to know, while they don’t even have the slightest idea of who they are themselves, while both are assuming love is the driving force behind this commitment they cling upon, only because they strongly believe the feeling they carry inside is a projecting of love they carry for one another.
Life is not meant to be an organized struggle for survival, although one does not have to be all that bright to figure out this is exactly the climate which is created around our lives.
If one considers all the knowledge that has been gained throughout human history, it shouldn’t be all that hard to figure out we are all manipulated and molded in order to obey and provide the architects of evil.
If one would ask his/her teacher the following question:
What is the purpose of (my) education?
Most teachers would probably have to come up with a lie in order to answer this question!
The sad truth is that it has nothing to do with your or any social wellbeing whatsoever.
The education which is pushed down our throats is one which carries all the evil needed in order to put a lit upon our potential. It is well designed and doesn’t leave much space for self-realization.
Self-realization is exactly what a youngster needs in order to understand what are his/her needs to focus upon.
Still, even in commitment “needs” remain personal and can easily become a problem when they are not being fulfilled.
In most cases inside marriage women will be first to submit in order to comply to the needs of their spouse.
Like you have mentioned, it is indeed very true and an undeniable reality there are advantages to be found within a union of commitment.
The reason why couples can perform better in commitment or marriage is exactly because one supports in various ways all the needs of its partner. Women carry the magic ability to create a backbone upon males in order for them to surpass their limitations in achieving to create successful careers.
Still in many cases, mostly women hardly get any emotional return in recognition for having put aside their own needs. This eventually eats them from the inside out while emotional rejection from the male in return is never far away a reality women have to suffer in effect, this occurs when a woman starts to manifest here need for recognition within the union.
To allow oneself to expand its potential is what makes the ride of life an experience which is not bound to limitation, potential is to develop a backbone upon oneself in order to make choices out of which no regret of made choices will follow.
Marriage is to engage into a life of discipline in which both partners carry one and the same understanding of knowing what it means and takes, to do the things they do, while most only figure out what this truly means when a lack of recognition starts to kick inn.
Love is a silly excuse to go an say I DO at a young age, because the essence of it can pass from one individual upon another in a split second, when self-realization start to manifest itself within. Depending of one’s position, this can become a very painful realization to experience for no one will ever be prepared for what tomorrow might bring.
Our social climate of today caries an amazing amount of influences which can easily tackle any stronghold of (love) discipline within a relationship.
Life is far more joyful when accepting the fact that a relationship is indeed put on a test, because in the end it will only show experience is a lifelong need which follows paths still to be discovered to bring awareness of what love really is about.
Marriage is nothing more than silently raping the love one holds inside, making one to lose its potential to express what it represents, an imposed limitation upon our most important and biggest need, freedom!
It’s that need which eventually leads to divorce,
Can’t help it - tangoterje
Ok, I want to make sure I understand you, because you write in a manner I am not entirely comfortable with, being rather long-winded rather than to the point.
Do you disagree with marriage entirely? I'm getting the impression you disagree with marriage at a young age, merely because the people involved do not know themselves, and must go on a journey of self discovery before they can really know another person. If this is the case, I wonder how long you think it takes a person to get to know themselves.
I also think you have a very different view of education than I do. I love to learn, and my focus tends to be on culture and science. These are ever changing things, and knowing them on a deep level can help me help other people, which is my mission in life. I take a much broader view of education than you do, since I don't learn according to what my teachers teach, entirely. That is, I learn things without a structured classroom setting. I research things on my own to better understand them, and that is the purpose of education.
~C
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I can read you understand me and your impressions are right while like always extremely well formulated.
I’m aware that I write the way I do, I honestly can’t help it, although I feel it has improved since I first started here, I do try my best to bring forward my thoughts in a more comprehensive and understandable way.
“Do you disagree with marriage entirely?”
I do not support the (religious inspired) structure of marriage, it is outdated and surely doesn’t meet up with the social changes and needs which are growing.
All which I have written down inside this blog, doesn’t necessarily applies to all who are set upon getting married.
I believe, marriage which I rather refer to as “Official Love Union” can be an uplifting and most beautiful way to go through life, still, some individuals, especially teenage youngsters should create some thought in order to understand the deeper responsibilities it involves to devote oneself to another for life.
Why? Because teenagers didn’t really get a taste or walk in life yet!
One can easily destroy another’s path in life when not being sincere at the very beginning, with sincere I mean, to be honest to yourself for more than a second before stepping forward saying I do!
To be honest about your own personal aspirations and how you are going to implement those inside a commitment of marriage.
Especially males should ask themselves a simple question, what am I willing to give up in order to engage into marriage?
“I wonder how long you think it takes a person to get to know themselves.”
In order to understand out of what one is made of, one needs to step inside the world of its interest, most likely this is the place where one will quickly come to realize what one truly desires out of life. Especially while being young this can be an upmost exiting period to experience. Whether being in a relationship or not, is of no importance, while being married could mean a big difference.
To bring up a simple example: A wonderfully cut to one’s profile job offer to go and work overseas.
To get married before your 30th I consider to be an unwise decision out of the many choices available when young.
It clearly shows you’re self(education) is paying off and indeed, what you mentioned is the purpose of education but sadly enough not the answer or response one would receive from a teacher in a structured classroom setting.
Youngsters these days are trained and molded to fit inside a structure to serve a purpose other than their own wellbeing!
An honest teacher would admit, although probably none would dare to admit, one’s purpose of education is to follow a monitored path alongside the lie’s of the government, smoke screen and lip service!
While the true nature and purpose of education lies into preparing an individual for a future.
Youngsters don’t even openly question what they are being fed! They should do so in order for change to arise, maybe they get tasered in case they would!
More should research things on their own, it opens up (self)awareness!
Can’t help it - tangoterje
Ok, I think I understand you now, and I'm not quite as outraged as I was when I initially read your response ;). Thanks for answering my questions :)
~C
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You make a lot of generalizations.
1. Men cannot communicate with women in a fulfilling way.
I talk to my guy all the time. For hours upon end. We discuss, debate, and laugh. I open up to him and he opens up to me. Its not true that all men are not meeting the needs of their girlfriends/partners/wifes.
2. People will cheat.
This does often happen but I do believe it is unfair to say all people will. I do admit people can be weak but I do believe (maybe this is why I am getting married) that if you have fulling relationship you won't. People are more then just sexual beings running on hormones.
3. Earlier you said that parents and children cannot talk to each other on the same level.
Since I was a child my father debated and discussed politics, science, social behaviors, history, and many more. I can disagree with my father and mother and its ok. From my understand this is not usually the case for most people. But it is an exception and generalizing all parent/child relationships seems unfair.
I do agree with you "love" is not a good enough reason to get married at any age. I do not buy the idea that I have to be older to understand myself. Life experiences gives a person to ability to understand themselves but age does not determine your life experiences. I know plenty of people that have never financially struggled due to their parents support into their 30s and always had the best things. They obviously do not know themselves and often are unhappy when they cannot get what they want.
I have lived on my own for many years and have taken care of education, health, and worked for everything that I have. To say that passing time is the only way to know yourself is totally false. I am not saying struggling is the only way. Good relationships with friends, teachers, and family teach you about yourself. I just do not buy the idea that I have to go on a huge journey to know myself.
If I did not get something correct please clear it up.
You make a lot of generalizations.
"That’s just an idea some might create around my poorly constructed thoughts."
1.Men cannot communicate with women in a fulfilling way.
I talk to my guy all the time. For hours upon end. We discuss, debate, and laugh. I open up to him and he opens up to me. Its not true that all men are not meeting the needs of their girlfriends/partners/wifes.
"You are right, I thought it would be understood I wasn’t projecting upon your love life."
2. People will cheat.
This does often happen but I do believe it is unfair to say all people will. I do admit people can be weak but I do believe (maybe this is why I am getting married) that if you have fulling relationship you won't. People are more than just sexual beings running on hormones.
"Again, if this would be the case, divorce rates would sky rocket to a 100% instead of 50%.
People who cheat are not necessarily weak. Every situation is different and caries different reasons upon why they occur."
2.Earlier you said that parents and children cannot talk to each other on the same level.
Since I was a child my father debated and discussed politics, science, social behaviors, history, and many more. I can disagree with my father and mother and its ok. From my understand this is not usually the case for most people. But it is an exception and generalizing all parent/child relationships seems unfair.
"If you are referring to the eyebrows going up, I’m just explaining the rapid pace of our lives, making such that reality carried by one, doesn’t necessarily fit the reality of another."
I do agree with you "love" is not a good enough reason to get married at any age. I do not buy the idea that I have to be older to understand myself. Life experiences gives a person to ability to understand themselves but age does not determine your life experiences. I know plenty of people that have never financially struggled due to their parents support into their 30s and always had the best things. They obviously do not know themselves and often are unhappy when they cannot get what they want.
I have lived on my own for many years and have taken care of education, health, and worked for everything that I have. To say that passing time is the only way to know yourself is totally false. I am not saying struggling is the only way. Good relationships with friends, teachers, and family teach you about yourself. I just do not buy the idea that I have to go on a huge journey to know myself.
"Age is a huge factor regardless of what a person has gone through, struggle or no struggle is of no importance. One reason for this is because we record each and every second that passes by in order to recall past events. This memory we drag along during the course of our lives moulds us into that specific mindset we find ourselves in today."
"It takes a certain maturity in order to allow oneself to manage the (memory bank) of the past. A saying: “Get over it”, caries a different meaning at the age of 10, 20, 30 or 40 because it involves a much wider aspect, reflection and emotional content."
"Being able to drive a car, doesn’t mean one can drive a Formula 1 car."
"Same applies to various other of life aspects that makes us become the persons that we are."
If I did not get something correct please clear it up.
"Please try to shift your perception from a personal one to a social one when reading my thoughts, it will make our communication easier. Not everything which I write applies to all who read it."
"Please copy and paste the lines which you question out of my comments, it is easier for me and others to follow your arguments."
"I will always try my best to clear up,"
:-)
It is said,
Can’t help it - tangoterje
very interesting video. i thought it brought up wonderful points about the positives of not growing up in a family atomosphere.
children are being exposed to too little and a creates a block for thought.
it also had execellent points on the marriage instition .
that made sense.
so i guess your islamic or whatever?
and i'm sure your probably a guy right..
that means you have like 5 or 6 woman that are YOURS.
no wonder you don't believe in marriage.
I’m not Islamic, I wonder why you brought this up.
Yes, I’m a male.
I don’t see women as objects either, so I don’t own any.
Indeed I don’t support marriage, because it’s a complete joke!
I’m not all that much a favorite of the “Barbie and Ken” education, or the Prince on a white horse fairytale, life involves more than socially sustained fairytales which lead to hurt.
It is said,
Can’t help it - tangoterje
Not everyone wearing a turban practices an Islamic religion. The guy in the video was actually an Indian Mystic and a professor of philosophy. If you watched the video, you'd know he is opposed to marriage because it's an obstacle to true freedom, as is belonging to any one religion or political party.
And what a gross misunderstanding of the role of women in the Islam culture. Dragonwolf wrote an amazing blog on the Islamic culture a while back. I recommend you read it to clear up any misconceptions you may have about those who follow this belief.
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Don Williams, Jr.
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I agree with you. The above comment was all wrong.
Nice comment. Next time don't assume things by a video, but read Wombels other threads to see that you assume horribly wrong. I have no patience for racism...way to go destroying all credibility that you had.
i just want to raise a question.
here, i see in christianity the pope is consider as good christian. how this world will be, if there is no marriage? afterall, there will be no more good christians as the pope die, there will be no more next generation with the good one. all that stay is the bad one as the good one can't married. isn't that not the right teaching?
in other thing, i just want to ask, as i'm doin research on this issue.
the research question is ; does getting marrired early will affect one's studies in school?
“No more good Christians”
To become or remain a good person in spirit and heart is more than this world can ask for!
“Affect one’s studies”
Everything single thing we do, think, chose, say, learn and teach on a daily basis changes every single detail of our own future while it affects our surroundings in positive or negative outcomes.
Life is all about suffering, while this suffering being the main reason why it’s so beautiful an experience to live.
http://www.wowzone.com/monkey.htm
I am 19 Years of Age and i am currently studying in the UK in my second year of University. Last year i was placed into student accomodation with the most amazing man i had ever met,adn we instantly became very close friends. He helped me through the issues of money, work and stress and calmed me down whenever u needed it, which is a rarity as i have anxiety and get easily stressed. We began dating about 6 months ago and we are going as well as any relationship i have ever had. I love him and when i say that i dont mean a stupid crush with a boyfriend, i mean i really do care for him and would do anything for him. He has been mentioning engagment and wen tto see what i thought and it feels right.
Next year i am moving in with him with just the two of us where i will be in my last year of Uni and i would almost have a degree. I decided to do this first to see if we cna spend everday together. I dont see the problem with young marriage but i personally cannot stand the young marriiages that happen from a few months of knowing eachother, you MUST make sure it will work and that its what you want. Can you be supported by your partener (and i dont mean money wise) and do they make you feel special. If so it shouldnt matter what age you are, Love is what matters; but making the right choice is vital. It would be better to wait rather than rush it and spoil what you have. You owe it to yourselves.
Steph