First of, yes, I do know what it technically means. Yes, I know people that claim to be bisexual. So I know what I'm talking about.
But today in 8th period one of my friends raised and interesting mode of thought. She said that around our age, people that say they are "bisexual" are really straight, but just confused. All of them turn out straight later on, because if they were attracted to the same gender, they would just say they are gay.
Earlier, another friend of mine wrote about this. He said it used to be "I kiss girls because I am sexually attracted to girls." Now it's "I kiss girls because it feels good." Or "I kiss girls because they are better kissers." The whole sexual interest thing seems to be declining, meaning less in value. Therefore, because the girls are better kissers, or because hormones make just the act of kissing feel good, people say they are "bisexual." It's not about attraction anymore, it's about satisfaction.
Yet another friend has joked that he should say he's bisexual because it increases the number of dates he can go on. This also seems more like wanting a "win-win situation" than actual attraction. And since people are horny..why not?
What do you think?
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The two "bisexual" people I've met/know are just girls who think it's cool to get it on with other girls, since it will make them more marketable to guys. :( Not to say one can't be truly attracted to both sexes; just in my experience, it's only a way to seem more "wild" and more or less just rebel against their parents.
Yeah. Some people who call themselves "bisexual" are maybe just experimenting. For example, just because a straight girl makes out with another girl doesn't make her bisexual (or a lesbian.) It's curiosity.
Isn't it that way for anyone in a dating situation? You're not sure about the feelings you have for a person, so you try dating them, being with them, to see if you can define what those feelings are. Why should that be limited to people of the opposite sex?
Theres a category for that, its called bicurious.
www.worldcantwait.com
In my mind, being bisexual doesn't mean satisfaction... actually I believe it means it doesn't matter what the sex is, if you feel such passion and feelings with someone that it can be love, then it's right to be. Emtoins don't know a person's sex and neither should someone's "label" have a onesided view
i agree. my bestfriend is bisexual and she has been with a girl for two years. but she has also been with a boy before, for about a year. it just depends on the person, not the gender
Why not? Some claim to be bisexuals because they know no better. My best friend is bisexual (well he has a boyfriend) but that never stoped us from going to the mall and also girl scouting. Some people are turly attracted to people fo the same sex, they sometimes cant help it. But some people, like your friend, are just in it for them selfs, thats just selfesh person. Hes cheating basicly. Hes the trash of the bisexual community, the people that do that with the other sexs are shuned, dating mutipul people. Maybe you should be more outspoken about it and shun him for dating mutipul people all for himself.
I myself am bisexual, so keep that in mind.
Sexuality in my mind is not a choice, it is part of who we are. That being said, I also believe that sexuality can change over time as people grow and change themselves. That is not to say that people can be forced to change, or influenced by what people say or do to them, but that it happens naturally.
Yes, a lot of people who are bisexual will say later that they are straight or homosexual. That's understandable, considering how unsure people can be about their sexuality while they're still growing up and dealing with the many changes that come about during that time. Also, many people in later years in life will either be bi and then change to one or the other, or vice versa, simply because that is the way their life leads them.
The debate about bisexuality has always been a thorny one. We know unquestionably that there are fully straight people and fully gay people. They are respectively only truly turned on by their opposite-sex or same-sex partners and their interest and experience with the other side is minimal at best.
Bisexuals in my opinion are probably much more common then is known IF you base such a thing on willingness to actually do something sexual with both sexes of your own choice. I'm sure most people truly have a preference towards one sex over the other and I highly doubt 50-50 types are common.
Ultimately nature itself would suggest that primates are fairly fluid in their sexuality overall. Our closest genetic relative is the Bonobo and they are ridiculously sexual all across the map to both sexes. It's tied in to their social network.
The examples you are describing above are not really related so much to sexuality as they are to immaturity. I know quite a few pre-teens and teens that have described to me their sexual exploits and I'm amazed how much more experimentation is going on now. It just confirms what I thought really, the more a society loosens up from ridiculous puritanical notions of sex as the standard, the more people explore their interests and desires without guilt and prejudice hindering them.
I think bisexuality is just one of these phrases that people just coined simply to make something sound legitimate.
I believe that many people who say that they are bisexual are just people who are open to trying new things and who seek sexual gratification in any way they can. If you close your eyes, kissing a guy and a girl is perhaps exactly the same anatomically. The stimulation of the sexual organs feels good no matter who does it. It is just the same as if a girl were to engage in petting with a guy who she did not particularly like of such or who was not her type but does it because it feels good. This is how I view bisexuality. Most bisexual people do not necessarily like the same sex to date them or marry them or have a relationship with them but they just like to have sex with them.
In my AP Psychology class we learnt though that sexuality is not an all or nothing situation but that there are points on a continum. For example, most people who are heterosexual have had homosexual or what is labelled as homosexual thoughts and we learnt that even if you engaged in homosexual activity before in your life it did not mean that you were gay. So bisexuality is a point as well and does not have to be a label for life and it is certainly not a condition. I think most bisexual people just want to have their cake and eat it as well.
I completely disagree with that theory. I'm bisexual and in no way am I just looking for "sexual gratification in any way I can". I have never been sexually active, nor will I be for at least another few years, because I don't feel that I'm ready for it. What I am looking for is companionship, someone to love and care for. Someone's personality and their emotions are what make them who they are and a person someone can love, not their anatomy. I look past who they are physically to see if they are someone I could spend my life with.
I don't believe that's true necessarily. This suggests that sexual attraction is all about just gratifying yourself and therefore it can't be an indicator of people you can fall in love with. Physical attraction to someone does not usually stem from simple biological ideas of thinking to yourself "I want to get a hot BJ and I'm not bothered by this dude doing it for me, so lets PARTY!!" People usually find attraction stems from an entire scenario involving a person. Their looks, their actions, the conversations, little mannerisms that turn you on, etc.
Obviously sexual interest is about doing something that will be satisfying to you, yes, but the reasons behind it are extremely complex. For example, You could take one horny guy and throw them in a situation with someone who they find very attractive physically and yet a few conversations between them that rubs them the wrong way and their interest flies out the door even if the other is still up for it.
Sexuality is as much about SHARING an experience as there is a desire to take something from it.
Ah but most (like myself), can not do such a thing. If I know the other is a gender I don't desire, this will not work. I will not want to respond and will not get turned on.
This is a false analogy. There is a huge difference between someone not being your type and having sex with a completely different gender you are not naturally attracted to.
Where did you get this statistic? I suspect this is just an assumption on your part. Most bisexuals in the PAST were particularly more likely to have public face as a straight person, but this was obviously for convenience rather than a definite preference. They had the easy road of picking the "popular" choice.
The bottom line is this. If you truly PREFER one sex over the other, this makes you predominantly hetero or homo. True 50-50 bisexuals are probably relatively rare, so for the sake of simplicity it is easier to lump anyone who is willing to have sex with either sex as bisexual.
I'm bisexual and sex has nothing to do with it (for me). It's all about spiritual and emotional connections. If sex is the first thing on your mind when you choose a partner, then that's a little wierd. I'm very much in love with a girl now and i'm not dting her because i'm sexually attracted to her, but because we have spiritual connections. All this to say, it's not about the sex. So basing bisexuality on that is stupid.
If you close your eyes, kissing a guy and a girl is perhaps exactly the same anatomically. The stimulation of the sexual organs feels good no matter who does it.
If that were true I'd be straight.
“I hope the departure is joyful and I hope never to return.” - Frida Kahlo
I'm gonna betch slap the dumb outta you
Who cares? These type of things shouldn't be considered important issues. If someone wants to date people of both sex then by all means let them. If it doesn't affect you directly then let it go. Who are people that aren't bisexual to say that bisexuals do it to be wild or because they are confused. People do stuff because they want to or because they feel they need to or should. I like girls and I'm a guy but that doesn't mean homosexual people should think what I do is repulsive or that I am only strait because its whats morally right in society. I'm strait because I want to be and bisexual people are bisexual because they want to be.
Nice couldnt have said it better myself. If its not affecting you leave it be. But MM2006 i want to see you post on what i said earler in my blog!
THANK YOU! You put it beautifully. I have never understood how other people think that they can understand something when they themselves have not experienced it.
I know a few bisexuals, and they are attracted to both sexes. I don't think it's about experimentation or increasing the number of dates one gets to go on or anything like that. It's just about physical attractions and what you brain and heart are telling you. We all know you can't control those butterflies in your stomach. They just come when you're around, or going to be around, people that you're attracted to. Bisexuality is all about attraction.
- Cassie -
I'm bisexual because I can't help it.
I fall in love with guys and girls.
I think boys and girls are attractive.
Sometimes, I feel satisfied by boys, sometimes by girls.
I don't see a problem with satisfaction v. attraction. It's just a personal choice/orientation.
It's really not that big of a deal.
somtimes sexuality has to be seperated from love. i just think that we sometimes blur the two. Im bisexual so i am not just making my opinions. In my experience we love a person because we care about that person deeply and sometimes that person returns that love, not all the time but sometimes. If we realy used sex for what it was worth it would be strictly for reproduction purposes but as human being we are not that cold. Sex gives us pleasure but it also allows us to share that pleasure with the other person and in this we make our decision on whether we are having sex to also show affection for the one we love, And keep in mind love is generalized in my explination, or just having sex to recieve pleasure. So bisexuality works on those two sides of reason just like any other sexual lifestyle.
Girls who kiss girls in order to entertain men are simply being attention-whores. These skags trivialize same-sex sexuality and have no place in a valid debate on human bisexuality.
As to valid debate, I think most people (both men and women) have same-sex feelings in addition to opposite-sex feelings. They might have them at different times in their lives or at the same time in their lives. Whether they actually practise physical relations with both sexes depends on factors such as how great the same-sex stigma is. There is no stigma to having opposite-sex relations but there is still a big stigma to having same-sex relations, especially if it's male-male.
I personally believe one can be bisexual and really be attracted to both sexes, though I know quite a few people who consider themselves bi but really are only attracted to the opposite sex. They just enjoy the satisfaction one can get from being involved with both sexes.
I'm a straight girl. I've always loved guys and I'm only sexually attracted to them. But I've known this girl for a long time now and we are both in love. I guess it doesn't matter to me what gender she really is. I love her for who she is on the inside. And even though I find guys more attractive, I still have no problem with being sexual with her. She's the only girl I'm sexually attracted to. I'm not sure if that makes me bi because I'm dating her. Even if it does, I dont care. All I know is I'm happy with her.
In regards to your claim to "know what you are talking about", you clearly do not. Just as someone who is white can never truely understand how being a minority affects ones life. [for the record I am white and not claiming to understand, i am just making a comparision]
I am bi-sexual. I know I am. I also believe with all my being that I was born bi-sexual. And being straight, as I assume you are, you can not comprehend the personal struggle of identifying oneself as not heterosexual. It is complicated and confusing and can be quite difficult and painful. At the core of every human being is the want to be accepted and 'normal' and it can be very hard to admit that you are not normal. Expecially regarding sexual orientation, due to the fact that this is not physically obvious, as race or ethnicity can be.
Sexuality is often considered a sliding scale, opposed to a definite either/or. Wikipedia or google the kinsey scale of sexual orientation. I think this is probably the most accurate definition of human sexual orientation.
I don't even want to respond to the claim that a person claims to be bi just to experience more sexual gratification. That was my mother's response when I came out to her and I find it very ignorant and offensive.
Finally, I am very aware that people, especially teenagers and young adults use the title of bi-sexual for attention. However that is not the norm. And to make such a wide generalization is dangerous and wrong. Often teens use the title bi-sexual and later identify as either queer or heterosexual. In fact, the general concensus is usually the bi-sexual is a pitstop on the road to queer town. Once again, assuming that your limited exposure applies to the majority is immature and uneducated.
Actually, some bisexuals are gay people who are trying to be themselves but still hope they can repress their "gay" side. Parents tend to freak out when they discover their children are gay, so it's often easier for kids to say they're bi, so at least parents can keep up their false hope.
I think there is a lot of fad bisexuality going on in today's world. It irritates me quite a bit, because I think if there are true bisexuals that they will be stereotyped based on the trendy ones who will do nearly anything for attention.
Just my opinion though.
It's crazy for me to say that I "Believe" in bisexuality. It is not Santa Claus...it is not God...it is not a cause to throw my weight behind. It's a condition of the human race. It would be like me saying "I don't believe that people can like peaches." Regardless of whether or not you 'believe' I like peaches doesn't matter. You either like them, or you don't like them. There is no believing in it. I like peaches. I will continue to like them, even if people tell me it isn't possible. And I'm sure that all the bisexuals out there are feeling quite the same way. They like both sexes. They will continue to like them, regardless of the belief in it.
wow, this is why a lot of bisexuals remain closeted one way or the other, or refuse to call themselve bi because their not 50/50 or 100% gay or 100% straight.
i like the rainbow, it includes everybody that is consensual. (meaning I exclude pedophiles because a child inherently cannot give consent by power differences)
Trash of the bi world? Can we all please stop trying to lay a sectino of our group down as trash? We have white trash, n**as, bi trash, trash trash trash. People are not trash, even if you disagree with them strongly.
www.worldcantwait.com
I'm bi. and I'm not ashamed, I'm just not ready to come out to my parents yet. And I can honestly say that I don't know anyone except for one person that lives far away from me that is bi. And it started out that I was just sexually attracted to other girls, so I didn't really call myself bi. But then I realized that it was just then I judged every girl that I saw on how hot they were (the same way I did with guys), but I also enjoyed making out with them. But not all of them, it was my best friend in particular, and she was the only one that suspected that I was bi. She was the first one I told and one of the few people that know, and i used to be in love with her. Over the summer I couldn't see her a lot because we both went on vacation a lot and she lives kind of far, but we would text each other a lot and i fell in love. Everytime I saw a picture of her I would just melt, and everytime I thought about her and how much I needed her I would tear up. I know this sounds cheesy, but I just knew. There wasn't anything I could do about it. I now have a boyfriend who I really like and might even love, but I'm still so glad that we're friends, and even though she's straight (as of now) I know that she's had feelings for me in the past even though she's never admitted it, and I never know what could happen in the future.
"Sexuality in my mind is not a choice, it is part of who we are."
Mhm thats how i feel. you cant help who your attracted to you. You don't pick it. I am bisexual too and i cant help it. I have kept it in since day one because i went to a private school and finally came out in 10th grade. In some ways, i regret it because my parents hate it and a disappointed, but i have to live with it because it's me.